CatDonna's Cats

What, already?

++Update: Check out my doll on the right! It's a rough anime ie japanese comic approximation of how CatDonna looks (new haircut, always in jeans, evil-looking tuxedo feline companion I wonder who???).

Roll cursor over the pic if you're interested - it links to the site.

/Update++

...is Namja Town!

Ho ho ho yeah!



Will be busy this weekend prepping for the annual family barbecue. I'm in charge of the side dishes (ie the carbs, yum) and I might want to make some dessert too.

Better get cracking.

So in case I don't get back here until after Christmas, here's a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!!!

++++++++++

AND AND AND!!!!!!!!

The first anniversary of CatDonna's Cats is coming up on 29 December.
I'm holding a little contest! With prizes! Yep you read this right!
Just make a guess:


Asleep with giant teddy bear

This is Lucie Luckystar, the adorable and highly photogenic sister of Boonie "Peed His Pants" Blackbear, and a sworn enemy of the Pipperina Princess.

I've never told readers her real name, though, and I only yell it at her once in a while when she's being naughty.

What's Lucie's real name?
(Hint: It sounds like Lucie.)*

Leave a comment with your guess/es (as many as you want, there's no limit) and the results will be announced on 29 December.
Don't worry, even if no one gets the answer, there definitely will be winners and special mentions.
Life's not just about being correct... be creative!
Have fun!

CatDonna

* I do realise this is probably the great-grandmother of all useless hints. Sorry.

... Polly takes a big chunk of fish from my dinner plate, scoffs it down quick as only she can, looks around furtively, then vomits it all up on my suede bag and proceeds to enjoy it slowly the second time round.

Attn: AVA Singapore

Dear Sir or Madam,

Cat Abuser-cum-Blogger, kuro.shiro.neko

I refer to the above evil cat lady and a recent post on her infamous blog of kitty perversion.

In the post, she proudly shows off a new "acquisition" - a "black cat" called "Shadow".
(Yes, I really like to use "open inverted commas".)

Sir or Madam, I have sufficient circumstantial evidence to believe that "Shadow" the "black cat" is really not a "black cat".
For a long time, she has made her ravenous lust for black cats very clear to everyone. Even her blog title, kuro.shiro.neko, means "Black White Cat" in Japanese.

ksn and I have had a longstanding rivalry. We both have desired black cats (although my desires are immaculately pure compared to hers) and I believe that, in order to spite me, ksn:

- Catnapped a dirty white street cat

- Spray-painted him black

- And when he ran after her in utter humiliation, begging for the paint to be removed, she cruelly mocked him by naming him Shadow

In a gesture of defiance, ksn deliberately put down her modus operandi as the title of her blog, to brag about the depths of her callous actions.

Dear Sir or Madam, when ksn is around, the black cats are not really black.

**********
I wish to provide some background information, Sir or Madam, on the nefarious kuro.shiro.neko (alias ksn although her underworld colleagues affectionately call her kns).

Her blog is notorious for its photographic and video depictions of pussycat p0rn. Her latest p0rnographic post featured an incestuous kitty threesome forced to lick each other to the soundtrack of Jewel In The Palace.
I suspect some torture must have been implemented to make the poor cats submit to her twisted fantasies.

I also suspect that this is how she earns income on the side: selling her kitties' humiliating orgies to fetish p0rn markets in China, Korea and Japan. (You know how big Dae Jang Geum is over there. Heck, my husband is Welsh and he loves it too.)
Her flimsy alibis for how she earns an extra bit of cash are lies, all lies.

Finally, I wish to inform you that another two Singapore cat bloggers have mysteriously stopped blogging after they mistakenly revealed that they once fostered black cats. I fear that ksn, driven insane by irrational jealousy, may have done something to them.

**********

For your information, I am now going to contact the Internal Security Department (ISD) to enquire if they have witness/whistleblower protection programmes.

ksn is a hardened criminal to be feared. She's even getting a tattoo, so you know she must be some bigshot gangster.

Earlier tonight, when I informed her of my righteous intentions to expose her dark deeds to the AVA, ksn replied by sms: "I dun expect anything less frm u, pip's mum!!" I think she is threatening me - she expects me to expose her, and she will take revenge. Not only on me, but on my cat Pip.

Because Pip is a real tuxedo cat - a true kuro.shiro.neko - and ksn goes insane whenever she sees tuxedo cats, you see. To her, all cats must be totally black or white, preferably black.

Thank you for your time. I am now going to book an appointment for extensive plastic surgery for myself and Pip. With ksn, one thing is sure: take no chances.

Best regards, CatDonna

Polly (L) and Teddy (R) doing their small-time gangsta act, but Polly forgot to squint

Finally finished a first official version of my work assignment.

Dunno when meeting the reviewer, was supposed to be today but there is a chance will be postponed.

Drank two cups of Diet Coke at 9 pm last night to get me through and I can say, WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY (woohoo), that the caffeine is still running through my veins.

Slept at... 6:45 am? The sun was rising.
Woke up at 9 something am.
Am exhausted yet. Very very awake.

Today is a long and busy day.
Tomorrow there's this interview thing that I had better NOT oversleep for.

I leave you with this photo, which is not an optical illusion: Polly is slightly behind Teddy but that doesn't account for the obvious size difference. Like a furry, cranky little David and a floofy, clumsy Goliath. Love it.


Convincing gangsta squints all round, this time

Going to try and nap a bit before I start the day.
The operative word here being try.
The caffeine is messing up my gastric too, so I keep thinking I'm getting the runs.

Admit it, CatDonna.
You're a caffeine wuss.

Confession #1
Fine. I admit I only did the test because they had pretty cat pictures on it.
So embarrassing.

And I deliberately did the test a few times, tweaking the results each time, so I could see the different cat pictures. *blush*

Anyway, this is the result that came up twice when I did it for real, so I'm assuming it's the closest to a reliable reading?
Assuming these things are even reliable, which I don't think so.

Give me a Myers-Briggs anytime.

**********

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

**********

Confession #2
I'm on the computer producing multiple posts when I'm actually supposed to be working on an urgent, major writing assignment that I'm only halfway through, and the external review of which is due on Thursday.

Sigh. Back to work.

CatDonna

An overdue meme from PC Southwest. Here we go.

Ten things I will never do:

1. Lose so much weight that people will tell me, "You're too skinny".
Although I suspect this is more an issue of Can't, not Won't.

2. Not help animals in need.
Although to be honest, I still have trouble with vegetarian commitments; I do try but nothing's been successful. Veggers, feel free to stage peaceful demonstrations outside my door, burning turnip effigies of myself and chanting FLESH-EATING ANIMAL-LOVING HYPOCRITE.

3. Not help people who need it.
Yup. I'm a softie, you're a softie, everyone's a softie.

4. Play favourites with my cats.
As much as possible I love all my pets equally. However, that principle is often problematic considering how most of my cats are pretty harmless, but a couple of them can be quite the hellcat *ahem*PipandDoe*koff*.

5. Give up shopping.
It's a woman thing. Lalala!

6. Let sleeping cats lie.
I can't. I start cuddling them and taking pictures. So they take revenge by sleeping on my bed at night and keeping me awake.

7. Follow the rules.
Again, this isn't so much a matter of Won't as Can't. I don't actively try to be nonconformist, but it just seems to come naturally to me. I question things a lot. So I do get in trouble quite a bit.

8. Eat dark chocolate as is.
Had a bad experience some years back with a family-sized bar of dark choc, some greasy chips and a jerky 15-kilometre taxi ride that resulted in me projectile-vomiting when I reached home. I still shudder at the memory.

9. Suffer fools gladly.
By "fool" I don't actually refer to people who are ignorant and/or silly, because we're all like that sometimes. I'm talking about people who are cowardly, dishonest and irresponsible, and who end up hurting other people in the process. I've frequently stood up for friends who were hurt by such people, earning for myself the (IMHO) thoroughly undeserved reputation of VIP (Vicious and Intimidating Person). Very Pip-like, I agree.

10. Turn down an offer of food.
Refer to Number 1. It's lunchtime, off I go.

I open this meme to all my happy fellow bloggers and readers. Feel free to participate and don't get all guilty if you can't! It's the festive season now and I know many of us are busy tying up loose ends for the year.

So, if you're interested in doing this meme, just do it and leave a comment here to let us know.

Hungry hungry hungry. Cheers!
CatDonna

Gee...


Oh, the Monday blues

I'm bored.
It's no fun supervising the humans as they work.


Hmmm. What to do? What to do?

Off I go to find trouble, I mean, some work worthy of my Top Cat title...

Aha!
Dumb ginger fatty ahead!


"Uhh... sir good morning sir"

It's Teddy, come to work in his nice new white lace bow-tie.
I know. Let's intimidate him.


Doe: Take off your bow-tie! No subordinate is allowed to look cuter than their boss!
Teddy: Sir yes sir!

That's right... don't move a muscle or I'll SWAT you...


Doe: And why did you submit your report 3 days before the deadline? I wanted it one week before!!!
Teddy: Sir I apologise sir!


Doe: Hmph! Alright, I'm in a good mood so I'll let you off this once. Report for litter-tray duty everyday this month, and I'll forget this incident happened.
Teddy: *euphoric with relief* Oh sir thank you sir!

Haha!
That's enough work for today.
I need a rest. On the nice human bed of course.


A top bed for the top cat

What a productive day I've had. Looking forward to tomorrow.


Now, where do I place my order for tuna sashimi and catnip tea?

Yours Faithfully
Mr Doe
CEO (Cats' Executive Officer)
CatDonna & Cats Pte Ltd

Not the best resolution, but it's a very sweet video. Enjoy!

++Update: The vet is positive he didn't leave any uterine tissue behind during the spay. The diagnosis for now is an "uncommon hormonal imbalance leading to false pregnancy". Unfortunately, (the vet says) depending on the cat, this could happen again.

Hormonal imbalance! False pregnancy!
So Choc's not just a Tramp, she's a Drama Queen!

Dang it Choc, I don't care if you think you're pregnant JUST STOP PEEING ON MY BED!!!

/Update++


Oh yeah baby, scratch my neck some more

Chocolate's living it up!

She's getting it on with anything that moves.
Even our feet aren't spared.

For the dear people out there trying to cheer me up by suggesting that maybe Choc's just in a very good mood, I present photographic evidence (rated M-18) that The Lady Is A Tramp:


The mating stance: thankfully Teddy didn't (and couldn't) get the hint

Am taking Choc to the vet later today (it's 2:40 am here as I type and I wish to thank my insomnia for everything), and to be honest I am dreading the appointment. As I see it, my options are pretty much limited to getting Choc checked up and possibly re-spayed. It's traumatic for her, money wasted for me, and trouble for everyone.

And if the vet insists that I pay the full price for re-spaying, I'd rather take my cat and my custom somewhere else.


Feel the Tabby Love

Oh Boonie. Poor corrupted little soul.


The scandal, the scandal


Tut tut

And when she's not flirting with the boys, she's scheming with the girls.


Polly: Whaddaya mean, schemin'? what wif da paparazzi, man? Lissen dawg, I knows mah rights! Ima callin' mah lawyer 'bout dis yo!
Choc: *Mrrrowr*...


Choc: ...and this is how you seduce the camera.
Polly: Lordy, Choklit. You's a tramp fo' realz yo.

Right, it's 3 am. Off to bed I go.

CatDonna

Chocolate came into heat yesterday: the yowling, the rolling around on the carpet, the TERRITORIAL MARKING ON OUR CRISP NEW BEDLINEN.

Now all this would make sense except that Chocolate was spayed seven months ago.

I've left messages with the vet, but he's closed on Mondays (which is today) so I can't get to him till tomorrow.

Does anyone have advice or experience with this? I called SP and she's never had this problem before.

Good Lord. Why do I always end up with the freaky cats.

CatDonna
ps - Pip cuddled me virtually all day yesterday. She seemed to know I was a bit *bleah*. The dear beast is very sweet sometimes.

++Update: Just returned from trolling. Is it just me, or is the cat blogosphere pretty dark nowadays? Many not good things are happening, both with cats as well as people. Take care, everyone.
/Update++

CatDonna is not feeling very well right now, so I'm taking over.

CatDonna just saw a fatal road accident on a busy, three-lane (major) road (speed limit 60 km/h) involving a young grey tabby cat (6-8 months) and a car.

The cat shot out from nowhere, ran past about one metre from our car in the right lane, got hit by the car in the middle lane, and was probably dead by the time the car in the left lane smashed its guts over the tarmac.

In a desperate and (IMHO) crazy stupid attempt to save the cat, CatDonna ignored her husband's advice and ran out the car towards the cat while Husband was making a left turn. But she was far too late, and she knew it.

DISCLAIMER:
CATDONNA DOES NOT CONDONE UNSAFE ROAD BEHAVIOUR.
It is dangerous to run across the road or to get out of a moving vehicle.

CatDonna's really not feeling very well right now.

I wrote this to let you know.

She says the posts will still come, just not tonight at least.

Bye. I need to go cheer her up.

Pipperina Princess

Polly (L) and Chocolate (R).
Add up the annoyance on both their faces, multiply it by a thousand, and you get a rough idea of how I feel about Blogger right now.

Yesterday I was posting something... lotsa scandalous kitty pix and the ten things I've been tagged for...

Then bloody Blogger hung on me and lost my post.

LOST. MY POST. MY HARD WORK OF ONE AND A HALF HOURS.
GIVE ME BACK ONE POINT FIVE HOURS OF MY LIFE, GAAAAAAAAHHHH.

Sorry PC (A certain part of the UK that cannot be revealed for fear of incurring the Arbitrary and Most Alarming Wrath of Management).
And PC stands for Personal Computer. I swear.

**********


I just put this pic in for fun: Lucie in a box.
Question is, why?

Then today I was rushing about as usual and to top it off, went swimming.
I did forty laps.
Am trying to reach a consistent fifty laps per session by the end of this month.
*preens*

Interestingly (to me, not to you, but this is my blog nyah nyah nyah), I took about 1 hour 25 minutes... slightly less than one and a half hours...
Maybe there's like some cosmic connection with the time lost yesterday spent swimming today.

Yeah right.

Or maybe I'm just sitting here typing nonsense, exhausted after a long day, absolutely FREAKING OUT at the thought of having to redo a perfectly fine, long post.

I. Shall. Procrastinate.
It's All. Blogger's. Fault.
Off to bed. Will redo the lost post, soon.


Good night, and good luck

CatDonna