Monday, April 30, 2007

Boonie. Black. BEAR. (Hug.)

"That's one large head, boy"

There's something awfully huggable about our largest housecat, Boonie Blackbear.

I don't like being hugged!

What could it be? His ticked black tabby fur? His amber eyes?
His kittenish demeanour? His soft, high-pitched meow?
The fact that, like Teddy, Boonie is... ummm, somewhat slow on the uptake?

(He's quite a fleshy, furry armful as you can see.)

Someone saw his pic once and said Boonie (and Lucie) might have some Abyssinian blood in them.
I'm not certain how true that is but I'm pretty sure one of their parents was a pedigree, which explains how the siblings are so large-built with eyes of an unusually deep amber.
(Only we don't know what breed exactly.)

Let me go

Any guesses? I'm just asking. I know very little about pedigrees.


Cont'd: CatDonna's Cats and the Glass of Alco DOOM

Don't be fooled by the water bottle behind this glass.
This glass, of recent date, was a vessel of the grape.
The Alco Doom.

We thought the cats wouldn't touch alcohol, but we were wrong.
Doe was caught on camera licking the last little drops off the rim.
Thank goodness the glass was otherwise empty.

Doe sleeps it off, drunken devil.

Will Boonie be similarly tempted? We find out.

Boonie takes a sniff and moves back - he'll not fall prey to the spirits.
Good boy, Boonie!

And so Boonie Blackbear sleeps the sainted sleep of the sober.

ps - At the recent dinner party, a guest saw the husband carrying Boonie and commented that he (the husband) looked like he was carrying a rather large koala bear. That's how furry and beary our Boonster's like, and that's our next post.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

CatDonna's Cats & The Crimson Mug Of SHAME

#1: Pipperina Princess

Oh ho! Water in red mug is always yummers. *lappety lap*

Hmmm... I get the feeling someone's watching.

*Quick look around* Nah, coast clear. Off I go!...

... Oh crud.

#2: JamCream Doenut

Can't believe no one else has found this juicy mug. *Slurp!*

Better take off soon though, there may be spies. *glug glug*

Hahaha and I runawayUMM UMM URR URRGGHHH.
Er, hi?

#3: Chocolate Tigress

Oh, how I love drinking in such a private little area. So cosy.
My face and nothing else.

*gentle sips* Always a lady, even in front of the paparazzi.

*Haughty twitch of tail*
Shame is for peasants.
Honestly, I don't care if I'm caught.

Skrawny Pol

Polly hates the meds.

I ain't skrawny, yo!
I iz Ninja!
Gonna bust yo' ass!

Pre-meds scruffing

Why ya feed me da Milk Fizzle yo?
Dem kitties is laffin' at me y'all!
Dey callz me dwarf baby! Skrawny Pol!
Dam' deir tupid heads!

KitDonna she see da bottle Milk Fizzle, sez
Ima gonna finish it!

Liquid Milk Thistle supplements, 2.5 ml a day

Ima no goin' fo' blood test yo!
Ima klean!!! No test paws-tive booyah!!!
Drugz iz bad mmmkay y'all!!!!


Post-meds cuddle and praise


Okay thank you enough Polly.

quick recap:
2005 - Dwarf Kitten Polly came in with a liver defect, a compromised immunity system and some scary blood test results.
2006 - Polly grows a bit! OMG!!! Another blood test; we see improvement with the commencement of Milk Thistle (liver supplement) capsules.
2007 - Polly seems okay but she's still tiny, zipping around at 2.5 kg, while I'm more used to seeing 6+ kg dinosaurs like Boonie and Ted lumbering about.
wrestling matches make me nervous too.

I'm probably taking Polly to the vet soon for a
follow-up examination, just to make sure that she's fine...

Readers, please tell me what you think: does Polly look healthy?
(Please remember that the camera adds ten pounds, so Polly is actually half the size she appears in the pics, hahaha)


Today's incredibly lame joke: What's Polly's favourite song?
"Old Man Liver", the hit song from the musical Show Boat.

Friday, April 27, 2007

I thought you all might like to know

what the menu for the dinner party was, after my previous roast/stew dilemma.

Many thanks to all of you who offered help and suggestions. :)
Unfortunately I wasn't able to access the internet much when I was in Sydney and couldn't contact anyone, so decided to rely on my tried and tested recipes.
I figured it was going to be about 7 or 8 people (us included) so that's do-able.

It was only on a bleary Monday afternoon, recovering from a bad 8-hour flight and late-Sunday-night touchdown at the airport, that details were confirmed:
I had 30 hours to prepare a meal for 15 people.

So relaxing, my pace of life.

CatDonna's "Oh My God Why Must Everyone Only Be Free On A Tuesday"
Dinner Party Menu

Sides (all served chilled)
Chicken pasta salad
Ham, egg and potato salad
Couscous done two ways - mushroom, nut and asparagus; salmon and sundried tomato

Borscht stew*
Roast leg of pork**

*Yes, the "Honey I Stewed The Kids" stew (why does shredded beetroot both look and smell slightly like blood???). This was a last-minute addition; if I had the time I would have asked for the irish or beef stew recipes instead, I'm pretty sure those would be easier to do, oh shut up CatDonna.
**Thank you tfp, oh most prolific and insightful cat-and-food-blogger (and partner Jac, cook extraordinaire and muse of tfp) who sent that mail on how exactly to roast Pork with the Crunchy Crackle.

(served chilled) Chocolate rum mousse
(served hot) Stewed honey mangoes in rum sauce
(There was a bit of rum in the fridge I had to get rid of.)

I took about 9 hours altogether to cook the stuff (including the previous day's 3-hour prep). Maybe I'm horribly inefficient, eh.

So sorry, no photos, I just finished cooking when the barbarians arrived at the gate, then they came in to rape my food and pillage my plates and cutlery while I took a quick shower, ie no time for food photography. Only this.

Half the carnage

The spray bottle on the table was to chase greedy cats off, basically.
Isn't that right, Doe.


Pip: "Welcome home, woman!"

Welcome, welcome back! Glad to see you're looking well. At least one of us is happy.

(The Woman: Pip, you've put on weight. I saw a distinct waddle in your gait when you came to greet us.)

Of course I'm fat!
I mean, what kinda lousy slave did you send me while you were away?
The kind that treats me like one of the cats?!?!?!!!!

Ohhh, she was horrible to me, oy!
Thankfully I managed to make life hell for her by hiding under the bathroom sink for an entire week, beating her on a regular basis, eating all her bribes and generally refusing to cooperate.

(The Woman: Yes I know, Sue panicked and made an overseas call about the abusive black-and-white cat that disappeared somewhere in the house, and yet somehow managed to eat all the bribes without being caught.)

Indeed! How I languished in sorrow and suffering!
Enduring her constant mistakes, her "stop hiding you stupid cat", her utter lack of respect for My Highness!!!

(Teddy: Momie Ladie, Boonie and Lucie say to let you know that it was Pip who hid in your bedroom and bathroom all week, made the catsitter almost cry, stole all our treats, and did her toilet all over the shower cubicle and in the laundry basket and ON YOUR PILLOW.)

Oh ha ha ha!!! Oh, that was gooood! What a joker that damn Teddy is!
After this I shall show him how much I appreciate his bloody annoying humour.
Ha ha ha!!! Ha!!! HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Teddy gets the hint and runs away in fright.)

Anyway, it's time to catch up.
Thank Cod you're back so it's good times again for everyone...

(The Woman: Pip, why do you like to rest on my boobs so much?!)

*purrrrr* Mmmmm... What?

Saturday, April 14, 2007

"Dayum, I should have charged the camera" said the Woman

"I thoughta you said is a secret"

You'll just have to imagine this:

Polly ran up to an unsuspecting Teddy, wrapped her front legs around his fat neck and attempted to power-slam! him onto the ground.

"Y'swore on ya dog's grave not to tell!"

Thing is, Teddy is twice Polly's weight. But that didn't stop our gutsy gangsta midget.

She really put all her weight into it.

"Dayum, im' gonna hafta kill ya"

Polly pulled Teddy's neck down so hard that she projected her furry little body into the air instead, did an awkward somersault and landed hard on her back with a loud boomf.

Teddy re-enacts Polly's dramatic somersault

She lay on the ground, shocked and breathless - her front paws still wrapped around Teddy - while our Ted just stood there and stared at her in benign wonder.

"And this was how I stared at Polly, like
'Duh, Polly, are you okay?' Heheheheeee!"

So Polly pretended that she'd planned this all along, kicked Teddy hard with her lethal (though short) hind legs.
Then she made a run for it:
before the Woman started her annoying hyena-horse laugh, or worse,
before Teddy hugged her back.

Teddy was so happy.

"WOW! Polly hugged me! We're FRIENDS!"


Enraged, Polly takes out her humiliating loss of street cred
on a passing stuffed toy

ps - Off to Sydney for a week - am accompanying the husband on a work trip or, as the Chinese call it, being the "flower vase". Buh.
Will update when I can. Let's see what cats we'll meet there!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Down + Roast

Tension arose as the call centre operators began pointing toes (and claws) over the disk-formatting error

Hello hello,

I meant to post but then something happened with the computer *cue ominous thunder* and it REFUSED TO START UP for a couple days, during which I was praying in silent desperation that it wasn't anything too serious because ALL MY WORK IS IN THERE AND I DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER COPY, NOSIRREE.

Yes, stupid of me.

Well, it's back up again so yay for the clever husband (who returned home last night but goes back to Maine in three weeks).

Regular Programming resumes shortly.


Ohhh, we likes our roast

Does anyone have a good recipe for a roast? Like nice roast pork with crackling or a tender roast beef. We don't like the turkey in Singapore and chicken isn't enough to feed the hordes he's inviting over.

If I can't get a good roast idea I'll make borscht stew, but I don't really want to because the kitchen always looks like I've just killed a baby when I'm done (damn beetroot juice stains). Suggestions will be dearly appreciated!

ps - Today I tried to kick the husband's backside, but missed and knee-d Rusty in the jaw instead. Poor, poor baby.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

It's Oh So Quiet

What does Lucie Luckystar have in common with...

A Back Alley Gas Attack by the family dog, Rusty?
Both are silent and deadly, hahaha

A few days ago, I woke up to Lucie's latest shenanigan (something other than her several-times-daily exercise of Today I Kill Pip! Tonight I Dine On Kibble! IN HELLLLLLLL!).

Let me explain.
There is a strange little ritual in this house, where Doe (who has a tricky gastric) vomits, then flattens his ears in fright and scampers off.
Lucie, who is intelligent and a neat freak, runs over to the spot and tries her darnedest (bless her black little soul) either to clean or cover it up.
Usually I beat her to it, but sometimes I'm not around and Lucie gets to try out her little camouflage strategems.

Damn, that cat is too smart for her own good.

[30/03/2007 22:09:43] JF says: hello?
[30/03/2007 22:09:56] CatDonna says: hello
[30/03/2007 22:11:02] JF says: so quiet
[30/03/2007 22:12:11] CatDonna says: like a little mouse
[30/03/2007 22:16:18] JF says: in the house with many kittens!!![30/03/2007 22:16:31] JF says: no wonder so quiet and still
[30/03/2007 22:16:34] CatDonna says: shhh
[30/03/2007 22:16:38] CatDonna says: or lucie will come
[30/03/2007 22:16:51] CatDonna says: and polly will have my tail for supper
[30/03/2007 22:17:07] CatDonna says: somekitty vomited on the table
[30/03/2007 22:17:33] CatDonna says: then it happened again, someotherkitty covered it with my tuition student's script... destroyed it

The student had to redo her assignment

[30/03/2007 22:17:52] JF says: yeah...I think anything of value we cannot leave on surfaces as there is the risk of vomit
[30/03/2007 22:18:15] CatDonna says: yeah but i dunno how the kittens learnt that cover-up trick... it's very devious!
[30/03/2007 22:18:36] JF says: natural...lions do it!
[30/03/2007 22:18:53] JF says: i saw on tv they cover up the zebra bones and stuff
[30/03/2007 22:19:28] JF says: but they cover smelly things...
[30/03/2007 22:19:33] CatDonna says: really...
[30/03/2007 22:19:40] CatDonna says: what do they use?
[30/03/2007 22:19:42] JF says: keep the bad hyenas away
[30/03/2007 22:19:46] JF says: the soil/dust
[30/03/2007 22:19:54] CatDonna says: that's DIFFERENT
[30/03/2007 22:20:12] CatDonna says: that's like litter tray etiquette... digging holes around the bones
[30/03/2007 22:20:24] JF says: ? why they dig hole?
[30/03/2007 22:20:35] CatDonna says: no i mean dig dirt and use it as a cover
[30/03/2007 22:20:58] JF says: well if they had paper there i think the lions might use it
[30/03/2007 22:22:20] CatDonna says: yeah... like, all lions have a pile of old newspapers that they keep in their store rooms, i'm sure
[30/03/2007 22:22:23] CatDonna says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
[30/03/2007 22:22:43] JF says: :)

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