Friday, December 30, 2005

Back to Pip's Intros: Polly

Hrrmph! "Back to the usual programme" hey? I was insulted, and I - *ahem* - indicated my displeasure clearly. On the man's pillow. And that ingenious act of self-vindication reminded me of this peculiarly relevant Coldplay song: "It was all yellow."

In some places they would call this art.

As I sit here in my splendid caged exile, listening to the satisfying whirr of the washing machine and the growled threats of those helplessly unenlightened humans, I type my next introduction - happy in the knowledge that I carry on the grand tradition of the great literary and philosophical masters. Here then, is Polly.

See that face? It's a characteristic Polly expression, the "Whaddaya looking at, @$$h0!e" glare. What is it with tortoiseshells and bad attitude? I can tell you this much, she's a bit of a hooligan and a nasty little you-know-what.

And what a pig. You should see her when it's feeding time. She climbs up the counter and starts swearing loudly in her crackly grating smoker's voice. Polly has a very wide vocabulary. She also has the most piercing shriek when she's annoyed. And the Look of Death. Undoubtedly, I hate her the most when the food cans are opened.

But is Polly more to be pitied than censured? She was a stray, the sole fugitive of an AVA culling (during which her mother and siblings were taken and killed); rescued by a Cat Welfare Society volunteer and adopted by our woman on a particularly harebrained day. Cue the vomity sad music, oh please do.

Polly's very smart and, on her good days, really sweet and affectionate with us cats and the humans. But in her bad moods she's totally aggro. She picks fights and stuff, and the funny thing is, she's by far the smallest cat here - growth stunted by congenital liver weaknesses - and thus we inevitably end up trashing her.

So this is Polly. Hoarse, greedy dirty-looking midget with a split personality. Don't be fooled by the cuteness.


Cats, Interrupted: ADOPTION NOTICE

I'm afraid I have to interrupt this pleasant monologue to make a rather urgent announcement:

LUCIE LUCKYSTAR (left) and BOONIE BLACKBEAR (right) are up for adoption. I'm currently fostering them. They were born around 15 Oct 2005 and were abandoned by their mother soon after. As you can see from this picture, these two young delinquents' lives have since spiralled downwards into apathetic drug-infused debaucheries, sprawled over IKEA bathroom rugs and having psychedelic rainbow-coloured hallucinations about the elusive Mother Teat that could have been.

Lucie is a female tortoiseshell tabby; Boonie is a male black tabby. Lucie is intelligent and gutsy and endearingly affectionate, whilst Boonie is a bit of a prankster and attention seeker. As kittens raised entirely by humans in a multi-cat household, Luce and Boon are confident and comfortable with people and with other cats. Also, they've bonded closely, so it would be great if they could be adopted together.

For committed and responsible cat lovers only. If you're interested, I can be contacted at saraelkelly at gmail dot com. Please help our cause and spread the word, all of you to whom I have shamelessly publicised this blog and these kittens. And thank you so much for your support.

More pics:

Lucie and Boonie napping with Uncle Teddy

Lucie posing in the study

Boonie checking out the home office

Okay back to the usual programme.


Thursday, December 29, 2005

Our Virrrrrrgin Post

"With Cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak till you are spoken to."
- T.S. Eliot (in more coherent, pre-"Wasteland" days)

Tchah! Still, he understands us well - on that one point, at least. We are a bunch of Cats and Kittens who live together, somewhat contentedly, with the occasional squabble. Four rabbits live with us, but we don't mess with them. Oh no.

We also have two People who take care of us, unfortunately they are one male and one female, and hopefully they won't be planning any more. God knows there's barely enough space for us cats. Maybe they should consider sterilisation.

Being the incorrigible attention seekers that we are, we shall introduce ourselves. Slowly. Our paws are aching from this unfamiliar strain, and coordinating five cats plus two kittens on one keyboard is as ridiculous as herding... cats? Agh. nvj%5bjioyhd\xfm,la.g2XE]]]]]]]]EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE stop that.

Today's Cat introduction, our first:

This is Teddy you see in the photo, a ginger half-Persian male. The People found him as a 3-week-old tied up in a plastic bag next to the garbage disposal area in the neighbourhood. Tragically, it could have been the temporary lack of oxygen to his brain that has made Teddy one of the dumbest animals to walk this planet. Whoever heard of a cat who ran into walls repeatedly in excitement? Still, he's a friendly little dear and very, very pretty, so all is fair.

More intros and pics as and when we feel like it.

Chief Editor & Dominatrix
For The Cats @ CK Apartments, Singapore

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