Friday, May 25, 2007

Meme: 7 Random Facts About Pip


That's me!

++ Here are the rules:Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven cats to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog! ++

Tagged by Five Cat Style. Here we go:

1. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHIHUAHUA, OMG.
A couple weeks before the woman rescued newborn me and my brother, she already had her heart set on adopting a couple little dogs. She was thinking of chihuahuas, papillons or pekes (you'll be amazed what pedigrees are up for adoption, she says).


30 May 2005: Two weeks with newborn kittens fighting for the bottle,
and the kitchen is a disaster area


She never owned cats all her life (previous fostering doesn't count 'cause it's only temporary), didn't actually know very much about them, and honestly didn't want them. Being the crass tasteless peasant that she is, CatDonna preferred dogs.

And she was going to name them Pip and Doe.


Guess who got the doggy names instead

Oh, the humiliation.
Woman, you should have gone all the way and called us Spot and Rover, yeah?

2. I FOOLED 'EM INTO THINKING I WAS A GOOD KITTY.



At about four weeks


For the first twenty-four hours after my rescue, anyway.
We were barely two weeks old. My eyes (and Doe's) were sealed shut and bulging with the pus from the severe cat flu we were suffering, and we were struggling to breathe due to the fluid in our congested lungs. Plus it was no fun tied up in the plastic bag where the woman found us.

It was 3 am and the woman couldn't get any KMR or vet care till 9 am - she didn't sleep that night trying to keep us alive and comfortable (LOLOLOLOL!!!!!).

Doe kept making these strange gurgling sounds and trying to nuzzle up to the woman's hands (I'm POSITIVE he was crying but the pussy denies everything now). I kept very quiet and stayed in a corner of the cardboard box where she put us up for the night.

It was then that the stupid woman erroneously assumed that Doe was the outgoing one and I was the shy, quiet one. Har har har.

The next day we went to the vet and got cleaned up and medicated. Which I absolutely hated.
So I opened my little mouth,
SHRIEKED like a demon,
wildly bit, headbutted and wriggled my way out of the vet's grip, and once I dropped onto the examination table I started
crawling frantically on my belly to destinations unknown and to
FREEDOM, screaming all the way.
(This despite being blind, slowly drowning in my own mucus and barely able to walk on two-week-old legs.)

And I haven't stopped being a shrieky, wriggly, escape-artisty little pain in the a** since.



Still cute as heck though, nyah nyah nyah!

Point 2 is really long so the rest will be short. Don't worry.

3. I HATE EVERYKITTY IN THIS HOUSE.
I make it very clear to everyone that the woman should have stopped rescuing/fostering cats after she decided to keep me (and fine, maybe Doe. Just maybe.)


Since Lucie likes being trashed so much, why not dump her?
What? I'm just saying...


The I is obviously meant for a single-cat household.

I don't bond with anykitty here. I fight with everyone.
My only "friend" is the woman. And I still attack her once in a while.
It's so fun. Ha ha HA!!!!!

4. I HATE THE SOUND OF SNEEZING.
It's such a stupid noise, it's wet, and I always think one day someone's head is gonna explode, judging from the looks on their faces when they let one rip.

When it does happen, I never fail to make my displeasure clear.

Btw why were there so few comments on my last post? Can someone tell me WHY? Huh? What, you don't like it when I blog? Even my previous masterpiece didn't score so well, but when the woman whines about her disgustingness you ALL are so nice to her!

Coddangit!!! If you don't like me just say so, horrid readers, I prolly HATE YOU TOO!!! Fine!!! This will be my LAST POST FURREVER and EVER halleLOOYAHHH AY-MEOWN okay, GOOD RIDDANCE DAMMIT, you NASTY ANNOYING SNOBBISHoooh, head skritchies.
Nice. Purrrrr. Purrrrr.
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

5. THE WOMAN SAYS MY MOOD SWINGS ARE CRAZY SCARY.
I don't know why she says that.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

6. I LOVE TOOTHPASTE.
When the woman brushes her teeth I'm always somewhere near; then I jump up, cling onto her nightie with three legs and madly swing a convenient front paw (usually my left) in the direction of the toothbrush.
Success is when I manage to steal a tiny lick of tootpaste despite the woman fighting me off and recently, keeping me locked away when she brushes her teeth.
So if you ever meet the woman and notice little scratches down her collarbone towards her chest, you now know why.

7. I HAD A FUNNY CONDITION THAT MADE ME COME ON HEAT VERY FREQUENTLY.
Like every two weeks or so. I think the woman cancelled three sterilisation appointments because of this thingy. Apparently it's not so safe for me to be neutered when I'm on heat.

Regular/Long-time readers will know what happened next.
Life has this way of kicking your butt sometimes, hey?
Like they say, you are only as strong as your weakest link.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Click for pix!)

I do wonder how Hazel and Fiver are doing, sometimes.
The woman might go a-visiting soon.

I'm not sure who's received this meme already so I'm gonna leave it open.
If you want to be tagged by someone as exquisite as the Mine Self, let the secretary know and she will dispatch a dictated comment from the I at the soonest opportunity.

Pipperina Princess

Comments:
Dear HRH Pipperina Princess, we love you.
 
pip don't go!!! we love you!!!! muackz
 
Pip, you sound more an more like Bonnie alla time.
Hey, yur post SAYS it was put up Furriday, but it wasn't here when I checked yesterday an now it is an today's Monday! Maybe Blogger caught the fever.
PS we LURVE you!
 
Pip is evil.

>_<"

*runs away*
 
hey pip, you can fool the foolish donna but you aint gonna fool me...
 
Hey spread the love Pip, the world would be a better place...'All you need is love, All you need is love, Love is all you need'.

Give it a try you might be surprised where it gets you (I mean look what a little bit of Teddy love brought you ;) )
 
*Guffaws, guffaws*

The 2nd anonymous is funny. :))
 
A big Hello to everyone,

cat_aunty & Anon 1: Good on you! Love me as you should! Bad kitties who don't love me get pushed off the study table violently (I did that to Polly about ten minutes ago).

victor: You is a clever kitty to spot that! (My woman didn't, she is a dolt fool.) Actually it was begun on Friday but left as a draft until Monday, so that explains it.

auntie p: *chase to nip your ankles*

ksn: ... but you couldn't fool her into thinking you WEREN'T a kitty pornographer and underworld ganglord (or is it gangtom?)! So logically speaking, I think I have an edge in our battle of the wits.

Chief Inspector Teddy is ON YOUR CASE, ksn!!!

anon 2: Hmpf! I is afraid I do not share your hippie sensibilities about Teddy love being all I need. The audacity! And I am mostly certainly NOT a hippie... I clean myself on a regular basis, thank you.

auntie p again!: *second round of chasing and ankle nipping*

Rowr!!!!!!
Love to everyone.
P. Princess
 
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