CatDonna's Cats

Teddy hides behind the curtain and stares wistfully out the window.


Teddy: Momie Ladie, Tedie go's out to pway?
CatDonna: Ted, I already told you, the baby kitten lisp thingy doesn't work on me.


Teddy: (sigh) Okay, Mommy Ladie, may I play outside? The breeze makes everything so pretty!
CatDonna: You're so much cuter when you're grammatical. You see, that's why a good eduCATion is so important, hahaha.
Teddy rolls his eyes and makes no comment because he is a nice boy.


CatDonna: And anyway, it's a third-storey patio out there, and I'm not counting on you to NOT jump off the ledge chasing bugs. If you know what I mean.
Teddy: (sulking) But that was only the one time.
CatDonna: Twice actually... the other time, you snuck out while I was gardening and teetered on the patio railing, checking out the community cat living downstairs and singing him Teddy songs. That was scary.


CatDonna: It's not safe for kittens out. Come away now or you'll make yourself miserable.
Teddy: I'm NOT a kitten... okay.


Teddy sees a bee going for the basil plants and rushes back to the window.
Teddy: So cool! So cool! I can at least watch, right?


Teddy: (unshed tears in his eyes, sings a most touching song)
"Born free, as free as the something, as free as the other thing, born free to la la la laaaaaa..."
CatDonna: (pause) Let me think about getting you a harness.


Teddy abruptly stops singing after a few minutes, as he slowly realises the implications of what the Mommy Ladie has just said.

HOPE (OR GOOD NATURAL LIGHTING) DAWNS ON TEDDY'S GOLDEN FACE.

Let's see if CatDonna really does get the harness. To Be Continued!...

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And just for fun (also because I like this pic a lot), here's Teddy at three weeks.
(Click on pic for enlarged version, woo hoo)
This was taken the day after he was discovered in a tightly sealed plastic bag (with three kitten siblings) that was found dumped next to a rubbish chute in Hougang.

Someone obviously didn't want this kitten and his three litter mates to survive.

Kittens this cute get dumped?
Kittens and cats getting dumped, at all?!
Some people really need an eduCATion.

CatDonna
ps - Yesterday I went to JB for a 2-hour massage in which I was beaten up to within an inch of my life.
I then went home and slept for 13 hours. Insomnia's gone, yay!

The first thing I see this morning, and almost every morning.
Today it's (L-R) Doe, Boonie and Polly.
(Some days Chocolate joins in too, when she feels like mixing with the unwashed masses.)

They basically sleep on the bed with me until:
Either
1. the sun rises

Or
2. the alarm rings

Or
3. I show signs of waking up

Or
4. Any combination of the above

Then they run over to rub their noses and whiskers on my mouth (very itchy), meow into my ear and run their paws all over my face incessantly until I get out of bed.

I used to think the cats probably needed something, so I would run over to the kitchen-cum-cat-room... and the cats would excitedly run in front of me, as if leading the way... only for me to find everything in order.
Fresh food and water present, clean litter, what's the problem?


And now you're awake, you can do the laundry

It took me a while to understand feline humour.

**********

I'm keeping my posts short and sweet for now; the usual Epic CatDonna Posts With Ten Thousand Photos & Snarky Captions will return in a bit (they do take quite a while to do up).

This makes me happy! Working on my stuff and knowing that I'm still blogging, without too much time gone and my sanity intact. I win, yay.

CatDonna
ps - Coming up... Extreme Kitty Sports! Pretty Boy (Cats) Posing Provocatively! Pip Arrested on Charges of Aggravated Molest!

Has this blog fallen asleep?

My camera battery is finally being charged after weeks of acting up (long story).

Yaaaay. So you can expect another post with pics, soon.

**********


Looking at pretty boys makes me feel a little better

Sorry I've been quiet lately. Haven't been in a very good mood at all.

You know that horrible feeling when you're trying to work on a project you really believe in, and all around you people are coming up with similar works that are WOW fan-freakin-tastic and you look at them and you look at yourself and suddenly you feel very very very small.

Yep. It's a battle I fight a lot, being a natural perfectionist and having an uncomfortably competitive streak in me when it comes to certain things I am very passionate about.

But this attitude is stupid, futile and immature, and I'm not making anything better with it. So I'm addressing this issue as well as I can.

I still love this blog and I do miss posting on it! Soon, soon.

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It turns out I have the exact same birthday as this pretty boy, woot

I'd like to hear your responses to this situation:

Imagine you had an ex-colleague who is undergoing treatment for cancer, and nobody seems to want to be nice to her. So you try to be friendly and before you know it, this person has decided to use you as a kind of emotional vent for all her complaints.

She's nice enough, but also very self-centred, nagging and whiny, with a tendency to victimise herself in any situation. She's also started taking out her crazy angst on you, behaving in a manner that suggests she takes your kindness for granted and she doesn't think very much of you anyway.

You hate to say it because it's not right to say, but she's becoming incredibly offensive. And her pessimism is contagious. You walk away from each encounter feeling slightly depressed and annoyed.

She's under the impression (you don't know where she got the idea) that you're going to hang out with her on a regular basis.

What would you do?

**********

I seem to attract strange people.

Funny thing is, I'm no Mother Teresa - I'm not nice.

I honestly don't know why they keep tagging onto me, all these emotionally clingy people.

I don't have a problem with people who need help, but why do they start getting rude when you help them?

[/rant]

Teddy at his usual spot, playing with my fat feet while I work

Can't wait for the camera to reload and stuff.

Did I tell you Teddy's started doing tumbletots? He lies on his back on the floor and when he wants to get up, he does a funny half-sit-up and rolls forward to his feet.
I don't have seven cats, I have six cats and one chubby Russian acrobat named Tedsky in a little ginger fur vest. Cooool.

CatDonna

I am so mad.

I'd bought dried fish snackies for the cats that they, especially Chocolate, seemed quite keen on.

Night after night I'd leave it in a tupperware container on the kitchen counter; morning after morning I would find it on the floor with teeth-and-claw-marks etched all over the lid.

But no attempt had ever been successful, so I figured the sturdy tupperware was doing its job well.

This morning I left it on the study table and tonight I came back -

- to find it burst open on the floor, fish carcasses everywhere, Chocolate in the middle of it all eating for her life, and all over the room this awful pong.

I'm not sure if the smell is entirely fish or if somecat (I'm looking at you, Chocolate) got too excited and peed in the room. She does that sometimes, the pretentious tabby twit.

I can't find the source, though. Bloody frigging heck.
Argh. So tired. Don't need this nonsense.

Pip's angry too. Her cushioned basket-throne fell off the washing machine onto the floor, and the cats all peed into it. Wondering whether to wash it or throw it away.

Pip's on my lap as I type this, glaring at nothing in particular.

Somecat also peed on Polly's favourite teddy bear and made her pretty sad for a while.
Why are cats so vicious to each other?

You know what, I am getting more and more convinced that there is hidden cat pee in this room.

Doe is sitting by the computer sniffing the air. We all smell it, but nokitty's gonna say where.

Weeee.

CatDonna

Late last night while the woman was asleep, Teddy fell in a slim gap between the kitchen cabinet and the wall. We tried to get him out, but it was like trying to haul a camel through the needle of an eye... I mean walk an eye through the camel of a needle...? Ok whatever thxbyeyowza.


Teddy perches on the kitchen door while I rest on the
Cabinet of Teddy's Disastrous Undoing

We had no choice but to wait for the woman to wake up this morning, and what is it about humans and their weak bodies and their desperate need for at least eight hours' rest? We catnap, short and sweet, and if you disturb our rest one iota, BAM, we're wide awake and giving you the evil eye. (Of a needle.)


"Ooo, washing machine, me likey"

So first we sent in the big guns: Doe and Boonie jumped up on the bed once the alarm went, and Boonie sat on the woman's tummy while Doe gently paw-slapped her face. Problem is, they do this everyday so the woman was unable to sense the extra urgency.


Heroic Doe, bleary-eyed after a fruitless
early morning wake-up call

This left Lucie and me, so we buried the hatchet for about twenty seconds and played cat charades with the woman.


"Dam' ye Pip, 'twas mine idea!"

As usual in the mornings, Lucie stood at the door of the bathroom while the woman brushed her teeth, but this time I was there too. (Nowadays I disdain morning formalities and sleep in the laundry room.) And instead of hissing and screaming at each other as we normally do, Lucie and I merely stared at the woman in a really freaky manner.


How does one remove Chocolate from one's clothing?

To make the point really clear that something was wrong, I refrained from giving my princess commands and quietly followed the woman everywhere she went.

Submissive, moi? The woman started wising up and went into the kitchen/cat room. Chocolate and Polly had done their bit in the litter trays. The trays were filled with bounties of what the woman calls Nervy Kitty Bombs - you see, when cats are nervous or unhappy, our poop changes in colour, texture and most of all, smelllllllll.


P*lly: the generous donor of smelly shits prefers to
remain anonymous

Then the woman started calling for Teddy and heard him crying behind the false back of the kitchen cabinet.


Teddy re-enacts the horror of that dark night

Several frantic dashes around, phone calls made and sixty-five dollars later, the woman got some guy to cut a hole in the back of the cabinet and let Teddy out. The poor thing. He was covered in sawdust and looked like he'd aged overnight. And he'd cried so much all morning his voice was hoarse.

Teddy spent the rest of the day treated like a prince - kept in the study with his own kibble and water, lots of cuddles and love from the woman, and even we were nicer to him.


"It was terrible... terrible"

Us cats were relieved Teddy was freed from his cramped dungeon.
I mean, imagine if he died. The stench. Far better to keep the little omega alive, don't you think?

I was generous with my rewards: no picking fights with the other cats for one afternoon, and I even condescended to sleep on the woman's lap for an hour.
(Don't let her tell you otherwise.)


"Oh, don't... you make me shy... am I as great as you say?"


("Mooore!!!")

Moral of the story: Teamwork, led by a strong and capable leader such as the mine self, can achieve great things.
Although I'm pretty sure I could have done it all by myself. Just that I'm too smart to. Useless pussies need me to boss 'em around!



All Hail The Me!
Princess Pip

ps - The woman wants me to try and not make out everything to be about the mine self. Do I??? Anyway to prove how awesomely humble I am...


Happy endings for all