Thursday, March 22, 2007
quickie thoughts
Has this blog fallen asleep?
My camera battery is finally being charged after weeks of acting up (long story).
Yaaaay. So you can expect another post with pics, soon.
**********
Looking at pretty boys makes me feel a little better
Sorry I've been quiet lately. Haven't been in a very good mood at all.
You know that horrible feeling when you're trying to work on a project you really believe in, and all around you people are coming up with similar works that are WOW fan-freakin-tastic and you look at them and you look at yourself and suddenly you feel very very very small.
Yep. It's a battle I fight a lot, being a natural perfectionist and having an uncomfortably competitive streak in me when it comes to certain things I am very passionate about.
But this attitude is stupid, futile and immature, and I'm not making anything better with it. So I'm addressing this issue as well as I can.
I still love this blog and I do miss posting on it! Soon, soon.
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It turns out I have the exact same birthday as this pretty boy, woot
I'd like to hear your responses to this situation:
Imagine you had an ex-colleague who is undergoing treatment for cancer, and nobody seems to want to be nice to her. So you try to be friendly and before you know it, this person has decided to use you as a kind of emotional vent for all her complaints.
She's nice enough, but also very self-centred, nagging and whiny, with a tendency to victimise herself in any situation. She's also started taking out her crazy angst on you, behaving in a manner that suggests she takes your kindness for granted and she doesn't think very much of you anyway.
You hate to say it because it's not right to say, but she's becoming incredibly offensive. And her pessimism is contagious. You walk away from each encounter feeling slightly depressed and annoyed.
She's under the impression (you don't know where she got the idea) that you're going to hang out with her on a regular basis.
What would you do?
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I seem to attract strange people.
Funny thing is, I'm no Mother Teresa - I'm not nice.
I honestly don't know why they keep tagging onto me, all these emotionally clingy people.
I don't have a problem with people who need help, but why do they start getting rude when you help them?
[/rant]
Teddy at his usual spot, playing with my fat feet while I work
Can't wait for the camera to reload and stuff.
Did I tell you Teddy's started doing tumbletots? He lies on his back on the floor and when he wants to get up, he does a funny half-sit-up and rolls forward to his feet.
I don't have seven cats, I have six cats and one chubby Russian acrobat named Tedsky in a little ginger fur vest. Cooool.
CatDonna
// posted by CatDonna & Cats @ 4:05 PM 
Comments:
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That's a toughy. Mom's known a few people like that an finks the attraction is that she's a good listener. Since the former coworker has cancer, can you redirect her attentions toward a therapist or cancer support group?
Mom was eatin lunch daily wif a coworker who kept sayin how nice it was to lif wifout children, efun if Mom was tellin sumfin cute the boy did. Mom realized how bad it made her feel an started eatin later most of the time. Avoidance an a good excuse fur eatin later did the trick.
I'd luv to see Teddy's tumbletot. I gots a bideo up today of my spinning!
Re Bloggin: we bisit cuz we LOVE yur writing. You make us LOL. But you should do what YOU want. Rule One: It's YOUR blog. Do what YOU want.
Mom was eatin lunch daily wif a coworker who kept sayin how nice it was to lif wifout children, efun if Mom was tellin sumfin cute the boy did. Mom realized how bad it made her feel an started eatin later most of the time. Avoidance an a good excuse fur eatin later did the trick.
I'd luv to see Teddy's tumbletot. I gots a bideo up today of my spinning!
Re Bloggin: we bisit cuz we LOVE yur writing. You make us LOL. But you should do what YOU want. Rule One: It's YOUR blog. Do what YOU want.
I agree with Victor - avoidance is the way.
BTW, I've also got an ex-colleague who is self-centred, just bec people around her are nice enough to "pander" to her nonsense. Maybe I'm partly at fault for not telling her off, but then she was in senior mgt while still my colleague, so I couldn't possibly have done that. Now that she's an ex-colleague, she still expect me to pander to her nonsense. LOLs!
BTW, I've also got an ex-colleague who is self-centred, just bec people around her are nice enough to "pander" to her nonsense. Maybe I'm partly at fault for not telling her off, but then she was in senior mgt while still my colleague, so I couldn't possibly have done that. Now that she's an ex-colleague, she still expect me to pander to her nonsense. LOLs!
# posted by 
: 23/3/07 2:22 PM
: 23/3/07 2:22 PM
well, this IS a toughie and this is just my two cents' worth - i think the ex colleague has a reason to be self-centred and whiney right now on account of what she is going thru. the rest of us can't imagine what it is like to hv cancer, to hv yr mortality staring u in the face day in and day out and hv to undergo sucky treatment that makes u feel sick as a dog.
as for being offensive, one shld NEVER be that with friends, no matter what. but this, it seems, comes as part of the package that is HER.
if u want to be a friend to her, i guess u have to make up yr mind not take anythg she says or does personally (one way to make it more bearable cld be to rope in other friends when u "hang out" with her so they can help diffuse tense moments). but if u feel that she is not yr friend anyway and why-the-hell-am-i-putting-up-with-this-shit? then yeah, like what the others say, u cld start distancing yrself from her and lessening the dependence.
hope this makes sense...
as for being offensive, one shld NEVER be that with friends, no matter what. but this, it seems, comes as part of the package that is HER.
if u want to be a friend to her, i guess u have to make up yr mind not take anythg she says or does personally (one way to make it more bearable cld be to rope in other friends when u "hang out" with her so they can help diffuse tense moments). but if u feel that she is not yr friend anyway and why-the-hell-am-i-putting-up-with-this-shit? then yeah, like what the others say, u cld start distancing yrself from her and lessening the dependence.
hope this makes sense...
# posted by : 23/3/07 3:43 PM
: 23/3/07 3:43 PM
You should ask yourself WWTD..What Would Teddy Do?
He would hang out and be there and in a soft way show he is not hanging around if its not fun. He would try to always focus them on the good things in life and sometimes give them a hug. But he would also go off and nap by himself in the warm sun when things get dark and depressed.
He would hang out and be there and in a soft way show he is not hanging around if its not fun. He would try to always focus them on the good things in life and sometimes give them a hug. But he would also go off and nap by himself in the warm sun when things get dark and depressed.
# posted by : 23/3/07 10:38 PM
: 23/3/07 10:38 PM
if noone seem to be friendy with her, then there is definitely something wrong with her that made ppl started to avoid her.. having cancer can sometimes make a person's character changes.. she may be more temperamental. Is she like that before she is ill?
I got a almost 'similar' situation as u.
My mum's friend(let's call her 'B') also had cancer and recently, B got her cancer back. But B did not tell my mum about it..it was her aunt whom told my mum that B is sick again. I do not know if mum should visit her as her friend did not mentioned she was ill to my mum. She may not want anyone to see her in this poor condition. Now, my mum's friend is a bit like ur colleague - love to 'haolian' about her wealth. Once she actually told my mum that my mum will never stike 4-d. I cannot imagine why a friend will say this...When B was younger, she used to take advantage of my mum by making my mum paid for her meal as though it was expected of my mum to treat..but how can anyone be so thick-skinned to expect ppl to treat her meal? Also whenever mum take the effort to call B, B whom in 'sudden PSM' will just say that she got something on adn hang up the phone..
B and my mum had known each other for almost 20 plus years... but i do not find her close to mum.
If u were my mum, should u vist B?
I got a almost 'similar' situation as u.
My mum's friend(let's call her 'B') also had cancer and recently, B got her cancer back. But B did not tell my mum about it..it was her aunt whom told my mum that B is sick again. I do not know if mum should visit her as her friend did not mentioned she was ill to my mum. She may not want anyone to see her in this poor condition. Now, my mum's friend is a bit like ur colleague - love to 'haolian' about her wealth. Once she actually told my mum that my mum will never stike 4-d. I cannot imagine why a friend will say this...When B was younger, she used to take advantage of my mum by making my mum paid for her meal as though it was expected of my mum to treat..but how can anyone be so thick-skinned to expect ppl to treat her meal? Also whenever mum take the effort to call B, B whom in 'sudden PSM' will just say that she got something on adn hang up the phone..
B and my mum had known each other for almost 20 plus years... but i do not find her close to mum.
If u were my mum, should u vist B?
# posted by : 24/3/07 11:30 AM
: 24/3/07 11:30 AM
Cheer up Catdonna!! Seems like after the pee episode not we have the case of a snarky acquaintance. I don't think you should let people with negative energy affect you!
Maybe let Teddy do more tumbling in front of you, so you can laugh.
Maybe let Teddy do more tumbling in front of you, so you can laugh.
Dear commenters,
I just want to say thanks for all the advice and sharing! It is comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, heh heh. :) Now onto the nitty gritty bits.
(And yes, she told me that she's being treated for depression. This sounds cruel, but I think I'm going to start avoiding the phone calls and messages politely. Ummmm.)
victor: I saw the bideo! It's so sweet!!! :) And thanks for your encouragement - yes, it's my blog and I love it because it's a great way of getting to know wonderful cats and beans like yourself. So here's to more blogging!
auntie p: Eh, some people just don't know when to stop! Gosh, how do they live with themselves?! Your patience is admirable, I dunno how you do it. ;)
anon 1: You're right - what makes this decision so hard is that her suffering is real. Thanks for your input, it was sound and very objective - as much as I would like to be a friend, you helped me realise that I lack the resources (ie other friends) as a buffer for my own peace of mind.
I just want to say thanks for all the advice and sharing! It is comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, heh heh. :) Now onto the nitty gritty bits.
(And yes, she told me that she's being treated for depression. This sounds cruel, but I think I'm going to start avoiding the phone calls and messages politely. Ummmm.)
victor: I saw the bideo! It's so sweet!!! :) And thanks for your encouragement - yes, it's my blog and I love it because it's a great way of getting to know wonderful cats and beans like yourself. So here's to more blogging!
auntie p: Eh, some people just don't know when to stop! Gosh, how do they live with themselves?! Your patience is admirable, I dunno how you do it. ;)
anon 1: You're right - what makes this decision so hard is that her suffering is real. Thanks for your input, it was sound and very objective - as much as I would like to be a friend, you helped me realise that I lack the resources (ie other friends) as a buffer for my own peace of mind.
wwtd: I wish I were more like Teddy, I really do. But I seem to be very much a Pip. :( Working towards a kinder, gentler CatDonna though - less hissin', more kissin'! :)
anon 2: Thanks for the sharing. Like I mentioned to auntie p, I really don't understand how some people can live like that and not realise that they partly create their own misery. Looks like your mum's got a hard choice to make too, but she seems very forgiving.
cat_aunty: Hehehehee. Yes, my cats keep me sane. Hope you're feeling better too, it's a vicious flu bug that's been making the rounds.
CatDonna
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anon 2: Thanks for the sharing. Like I mentioned to auntie p, I really don't understand how some people can live like that and not realise that they partly create their own misery. Looks like your mum's got a hard choice to make too, but she seems very forgiving.
cat_aunty: Hehehehee. Yes, my cats keep me sane. Hope you're feeling better too, it's a vicious flu bug that's been making the rounds.
CatDonna
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