Saturday, October 14, 2006

Quotable Quotes from Memorable Essays


I told you to let me destroy 'em all!

Excerpts from my recent examination marking. So you can peek into the insanity that is CatDonna's previous career and understand why I resigned from the service, laughing madly and throwing bricks in the air.

Also, some things just beg to be shared because they're so bad, they're good.


Boonie is glad to hear that he's not the dumb one for once

**********

QUESTION: IS WAR EVER JUSTIFIED?

"World War Two was sparkled off by Hitler, the Nazi of Germany. He sparkled off the war because he wanted love and respect by his country people. This is probably because of his bad childhood. When Hitler was young, he was humanilated and they looked down."


Polly gets annoyed by the silliness already...

"... the Americans dropped a fat man and a little boy on Japan..."


While Teddy stays calm with deep breathing and stretching exercises

"During the Japanese occupation, the Japanese were very hard to move from their occupation. You see, they were very stubborn."

**********

QUESTION: IS IT GOOD TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT?

"Self-sufficient means you are content with what you have, your job, your clothes and food. Let me ask you, if you see some money notes on the street, what will you do? If you pick it up, you are greedy. If you only pick a few notes up, you are self-sufficient."


Napping Lucie looks real self-sufficient there

**********

QUESTION: ARE PARENTS TO BLAME FOR INCREASING INDISCIPLINE IN SCHOOLS?

"When parents are young, they are punished with the stick on their backsides or on their hands. So they grow up with a fear of the stick. When they become parents, they remember the fear of the stick, when their mother stood behind them and breathed down their neck and held the stick in her hand. So they do not give their children the stick. Then the children have no fear of the stick. When the children want something, they will bang* their arms and legs until they get what they want."

*The hilarious, unfortunate [and unintended] sexual overtones of this paragraph climax, pardon the pun, in this word - "bang" is a colloquial term in British English referring to sexual intercourse. Is the word used similarly in American English? Can someone enlighten me on this? Thanks.


Choc can only lie down and sighhhhh

**********

And this is my favourite, the one that got me gasping "What?!" and *groan* *facepalm* at 7:20 am in the morning:

QUESTION: TO WHAT EXTENT IS EDUCATION THE SOLUTION TO POVERTY?

"Education has two functions: to develop your manpower, and to develop your manhood."




Pip and Doe blow raspberries...

**********


... And Doe walks away

Will update if I can remember more samples.

CatDonna

Comments:
Poor Catdonna, how you had suffered! So did you fail them?
Should have just let Pip help you mark the papers!

Is Pip stressed out about something? Maybe you wanna try Feliway?

Spencer is a tuxedo, and I know what tux are capable of. Of course the heart is in the right place, love us and all that. Just that they can show it in such WEIRD ways....
 
I like the answer for the Education question. You should tell all the stupid boys in all your future classes to study harder and longer (pun very much intended) since education gives them strength (from manpower) and lots more manhood.

I thought my GP was bad, but this is the ultimate. If those are the kind of crap answers you get in an exam script, I am really worried for the future of our country. Let's just hope I don't have to vote in these extraordinary (in a very bad way) types of MP/Minister when I am old and probably very bald.
 
further proof that the human race is slowly going the way of the dodo. and they are supposedly smarter than laojiaos like me who are approaching their 4th decade - what with the internet and suchlike.
 
Woohoohoo...LOLs... don't know whether to laugh or cry.

The pics are great...and Pip looks so...um..."mang chang" (frustrated n Cantonese). I would be too, if I had to mark those kind of GP scripts.

*Phew!*
 
my fav is the self sufficient theory!
 
Yep, bang can haf the same meanin in Americat English, tho usually in the term "gang-bang" (rape by several).

Okay, enough bad spelling from Victor. He never went to school, you know. I work with engineers, who have to be the world's worst writers. What was REALLY funny was a web page for engineers to get licensed in a certain state. The first word of the large title of the page was "Statues" instead of "Statutes". Some states have an exam, and we joked that the exam question was, "Do you see anything wrong with this page?" "Yes" - no license. "No" - engineering license granted.

Our company president also once apologized to a client for any constipation our delay may have caused her.
 
We are laughing here. You blow good rasberries.
 
cat_aunty: No, Pip's always been like this. A moody freak. :)

kxbc + anon: I agree. It seems that standards are slipping with the young. *shudder*

auntie p: Part of me is wondering whether Pip was feeding off the stressed and frustrated vibes I must have given out. Maybe that's why she acted up so badly that Saturday? I dunno.

ksn: I can't believe how ignorant kids are nowadays! And the student sounded so confident of himself. Eeew.

Victor's Mom: Lol. What happened when your company prez found out? Aren't Freudian slips so interesting. :P

Sir Sid and Emperor N: Yes, when it comes to being rude and obnoxious, Pip and Doe [who are siblings btw] have it down to an art.
 
Hey at least you get to mark that shit... I have to *write* it
Hate exams HATE HATE HATE
but damn funny still...
 
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