Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Expert Beauty Tip #23

It is a pleasant afternoon and I am lounging in my favourite black leather chair, preparing for a well-deserved nap before I get ready for my glamorous, decadent parties in the evening.

(The man is saying, "Chocolate, that's my chair!")

The sun is warm, the haze is not too bad, a breeze is blowing. Hope it doesn't ruffle my coiffure too much. I dare say I will be the life and soul of tonight's gatherings. As always.

("Get off you useless cat, I need to work!")

So many ignorant creatures think that being beautiful is an easy job. Trust me, it is hard, too hard for many of you. Take for example, my pre-party nap. Too short and I'm still tired, too long and I get that annoying fuzzy headache.

So you see, Beauty is a gift and a responsibility.
The Nap is an endeavour of precision.
You must understand, young kittens!

("I give up. I'm just going to sit here and work. You're going to smell my bottom and be squashed.")

If you don't nap, don't take care of your face and body, and waste time on worthless things like picking fights and consuming dangerous drugs like catnip, you end up looking as horrible as this:

Trust me, you don't want to resemble this hideous specimen photograph that I've only just dug up, oh, for purposes of demonstration:

And that's my Beauty Tip for today.
Till next time, darrrlings.

Chocolate Tigress

Good points, Chocolate. Do I see Pip's tonsils? Time fur my nap... not too long, not too short.
oh I will wash my face right now! You are the expert!
Erm....question. Why Pip no teeth one? And why her tongue so loooooong? And. What was she doing exactly???
Pip was yawning, wasn't it?
That's one of the things those lazy house cats do best, especially when you call them. They yawn at you as if saying: "Yawwwnzzz, sigh...what is it, now?"
Victor darrrling: Oh, is it Pip at all? I didn't know. I'm not that nasty, really. But the woman has a very helpful photo collection of a particularly ugly tux that I refer to, once in a while, for my own amusement.

lil' one: You're a very beautiful kitty I see! Wash away, sweethearrrt.

cat_aunty: While I cannot speak for the insane behaviour of ugly cats [myself being gorgeous and entirely lucid], I would guess this over-excited cat was attempting to play with a toy and clean herself simultaneously. What a stupid thing to do.

Take care everyone!

I know you love me,
auntie p: Actually Pip was kinda going nuts at the time. She was playing with her new little mouse toy [kindly provided by Victor and Bonnie's Mom] and suddenly she decided to turn around and groom herself.

The camera got her just as she was getting ready to lick her coat, which explains the disturbing resemblance to Linda Blair's character in The Exorcist.

Eewwww, Catdonna! You and your vivid imagination. Haha!
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