Monday, August 21, 2006
Just The Eight of Us [Lotsa Pics Ahead]
Guess what! We won a contest! Pip was the 10,000th reader of the well-known and well-loved blog belonging to Bonnie Underfoot and Victor Tabbycat.
Thank you for the kind gesture, lambj! And congratulations to Bonnie [drat, I keep spelling Boonie] and Victor on the enduring popularity of your lovely blog! Here's to many, many more readers to come.
Today was an exciting day. After I returned from this morning's Bingo and Scone Baking Club meeting I took out my crocheting kit andARGH GET OFF ME HEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP nvfjsopityhr564782orbdjklg;rw[gffnsuifrhajfklghu;i
**********
Got rid of the woman at last.
I, NOT "WE", won a cool contest held by a couple of even cooler cats. And I just want you darlings to know, Bonnie and Victor, that you don't have to prepare too many treatsies for us.
Herrrrrrre's my guide on Purchasing Treatsies for Just The Eight of Us CatDonna's Cats [yesss, there are eight of us at present]:
BOONIE BLACKBEAR
Mad black tabby boy with a penchant for hiding in paper bags. Large as an ox, eats like a horse, cries like a pussy when bullied. Don't waste your money on him.
Boonie is the brother of
LUCIE LUCKYSTAR
Violent vicious tortoiseshell tabby girl. Likes to attack stuffed toys and the woman's feet. She picks on Hazel too so I hate her. AND SHE AIN'T YOUR 10,000TH READER, OH NO!!! So you can leave her outta the treats.
By the way, Boonie and Lucie are up for adoption, so if there is anyone willing to help me get rid of my two worst enemies I will be very grateful. Thankee.
Moving on...
CHOCOLATE TIGRESS
A very unique dilute chocolate tabby girl, with perfect stripes and a long straight tail. She's beautiful and she knows it. Pretentious stuck-up poseur who loves the lap of luxury, and the woman's bed.
The truth about Choc is...
She's a zombie alien with ambitions to take over the world.
Ooh look, an unflattering pic of our pretty girl! Whatcha gonna do Choc, eye-laser me to death?! I'm so scared!! TOUGH POOPS GIRLIE, I'M WRITING THIS BLOG NOT YOU NYAH NYAH NYAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feed the zombies.
TEDDY
This is Teddy. Half-Persian bobtailed classic ginger tabby and white, male.
If there ever were a competition for World's Stupidest Cat, Teddy would at least be a very strong contender.
Ever heard of a cat who ran into walls when excited? Who would simply curl into a ball and wail when beaten up by the other cats? Whose sole purpose in life seems to be EAT then SLEEP then EAT then SLEEP... and hopefully without screwing up the order of events???
I'm sure there's a law around here that prohibits giving treats to fat and stupid cats UNDER PAIN OF DEATH AND OTHER GREAT SUFFERINGS.
If I were you, I'd abide by the law.
"Sigh... Pip's making fun of me again"
Although I'll admit he's cute as a button and easily the nicest, sweetest cat in our household.
How on earth did Teddy become the father of my lovely kittens?
I swear. I only let him knock me up out of pity.
[That, and the samurai costume.]
POLLY POCKET
Ugly dirty-looking tortoiseshell midget with disturbingly violent tendencies.
Polly is a foul-mouthed, aggressive little ball of fur, teeth and claws.
I will NEVER forgive her for the times she beat me to the first bite of stinky goodness or table scraps. Or the times she screamed and smacked my face JUST BECAUSE I bit her.
Ignore her pathetic attempts at acting cute.
Plus, she's undergoing treatment for congenital liver weakness, so that disqualifies her from treatsies, no?
DOE
has an eating disorder. We think he's bulimic but he's denying everything.
Still, it's strange how often he purges after eating.
The vet says Doe is fine, and some cats just tend to vomit more.
I say if your treatsies are gonna end up hurled onto the floor, save 'em.
Doe is the brother of
PIPPERINA PRINCESS!!!
The MOST DESERVING of YER LOVELY TREATSIES!
LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!
Sexy: Watch out Paris Hilton!
In control: Bossing the woman around in the shower!
Just Gosh Darn Cute: FEED KITTEN PIP TREATS TREATS TREATS GIVE NOW I WANT.
Besides myself, the only other kitten deserving treats is the fruit of my lithe and nubile loins,
HAZEL [the NUT]
He's almost 5 months old already!
That's my boy! Give 'em the old dirty look!
Hazel deserves all the treats he gets. By association with the moi and my superior genes, of course.
So we don't ask for much, really - just one truckload of treats and toys for me, and another truckload for my Hazel baby.
The others can eat their little hearts out.
Heh heh heh!
Off I go for another beauty nap.
Thank you,
Pip
Thank you for the kind gesture, lambj! And congratulations to Bonnie [drat, I keep spelling Boonie] and Victor on the enduring popularity of your lovely blog! Here's to many, many more readers to come.
Today was an exciting day. After I returned from this morning's Bingo and Scone Baking Club meeting I took out my crocheting kit andARGH GET OFF ME HEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP nvfjsopityhr564782orbdjklg;rw[gffnsuifrhajfklghu;i
**********
Got rid of the woman at last.
I, NOT "WE", won a cool contest held by a couple of even cooler cats. And I just want you darlings to know, Bonnie and Victor, that you don't have to prepare too many treatsies for us.
Herrrrrrre's my guide on Purchasing Treatsies for Just The Eight of Us CatDonna's Cats [yesss, there are eight of us at present]:
BOONIE BLACKBEAR
Mad black tabby boy with a penchant for hiding in paper bags. Large as an ox, eats like a horse, cries like a pussy when bullied. Don't waste your money on him.
Boonie is the brother of
LUCIE LUCKYSTAR
Violent vicious tortoiseshell tabby girl. Likes to attack stuffed toys and the woman's feet. She picks on Hazel too so I hate her. AND SHE AIN'T YOUR 10,000TH READER, OH NO!!! So you can leave her outta the treats.
By the way, Boonie and Lucie are up for adoption, so if there is anyone willing to help me get rid of my two worst enemies I will be very grateful. Thankee.
Moving on...
CHOCOLATE TIGRESS
A very unique dilute chocolate tabby girl, with perfect stripes and a long straight tail. She's beautiful and she knows it. Pretentious stuck-up poseur who loves the lap of luxury, and the woman's bed.
The truth about Choc is...
She's a zombie alien with ambitions to take over the world.
Ooh look, an unflattering pic of our pretty girl! Whatcha gonna do Choc, eye-laser me to death?! I'm so scared!! TOUGH POOPS GIRLIE, I'M WRITING THIS BLOG NOT YOU NYAH NYAH NYAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feed the zombies.
TEDDY
This is Teddy. Half-Persian bobtailed classic ginger tabby and white, male.
If there ever were a competition for World's Stupidest Cat, Teddy would at least be a very strong contender.
Ever heard of a cat who ran into walls when excited? Who would simply curl into a ball and wail when beaten up by the other cats? Whose sole purpose in life seems to be EAT then SLEEP then EAT then SLEEP... and hopefully without screwing up the order of events???
I'm sure there's a law around here that prohibits giving treats to fat and stupid cats UNDER PAIN OF DEATH AND OTHER GREAT SUFFERINGS.
If I were you, I'd abide by the law.
"Sigh... Pip's making fun of me again"
Although I'll admit he's cute as a button and easily the nicest, sweetest cat in our household.
How on earth did Teddy become the father of my lovely kittens?
I swear. I only let him knock me up out of pity.
[That, and the samurai costume.]
POLLY POCKET
Ugly dirty-looking tortoiseshell midget with disturbingly violent tendencies.
Polly is a foul-mouthed, aggressive little ball of fur, teeth and claws.
I will NEVER forgive her for the times she beat me to the first bite of stinky goodness or table scraps. Or the times she screamed and smacked my face JUST BECAUSE I bit her.
Ignore her pathetic attempts at acting cute.
Plus, she's undergoing treatment for congenital liver weakness, so that disqualifies her from treatsies, no?
DOE
has an eating disorder. We think he's bulimic but he's denying everything.
Still, it's strange how often he purges after eating.
The vet says Doe is fine, and some cats just tend to vomit more.
I say if your treatsies are gonna end up hurled onto the floor, save 'em.
Doe is the brother of
PIPPERINA PRINCESS!!!
The MOST DESERVING of YER LOVELY TREATSIES!
LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!
Sexy: Watch out Paris Hilton!
In control: Bossing the woman around in the shower!
Just Gosh Darn Cute: FEED KITTEN PIP TREATS TREATS TREATS GIVE NOW I WANT.
Besides myself, the only other kitten deserving treats is the fruit of my lithe and nubile loins,
HAZEL [the NUT]
He's almost 5 months old already!
That's my boy! Give 'em the old dirty look!
Hazel deserves all the treats he gets. By association with the moi and my superior genes, of course.
So we don't ask for much, really - just one truckload of treats and toys for me, and another truckload for my Hazel baby.
The others can eat their little hearts out.
Heh heh heh!
Off I go for another beauty nap.
Thank you,
Pip
// posted by CatDonna & Cats @ 1:02 AM 
Comments:
<< Home
Pipperina Princess, I appreciate your clear instructions. Obviously, you are a queen worthy of respect and grand gestures. I, too, am plagued by a lesser being the mad humans insist must live here in my domain. I must say, Hazel has lovely tabby markings (from his father) but shows your superior intellect. If I may be so bold, dear, do you prefer your treats crunchy or moist?
hot(m)bc: Yes, I'm very nice. Very nice indeed. I find clarity a good skill in ruling the universe, saying just what I mean. Like, CatDonna needs to lose weight urgently because she is such a loser, squeezing into her jeans everyday. Hahahaha!!!!
cat_aunty: Ah, my long-time admirer and friend! I hope all is well at home. I admit that Hazel takes after Teddy more, but he's got my evil glaring green eyes. Teehee.
bonnie underfoot: Darrrling, I fully sympathise. Such is the fate of the truly great. I have requested my secretary to send you an e-mail detailing my preferences and expectations. I can't wait!
Purrs to all
Pip
Post a Comment
cat_aunty: Ah, my long-time admirer and friend! I hope all is well at home. I admit that Hazel takes after Teddy more, but he's got my evil glaring green eyes. Teehee.
bonnie underfoot: Darrrling, I fully sympathise. Such is the fate of the truly great. I have requested my secretary to send you an e-mail detailing my preferences and expectations. I can't wait!
Purrs to all
Pip
<< Home
