Monday, March 13, 2006

Detective Pip and the Case of the Suffocated Penguin [Part 1]

As many of you lovely readers are aware, Bad Badtz Maru is a well-loved cartoon character from the Sanrio series, which is famous also for its other creations such as the Ultimate Curse Upon Catkind, aka the Mouthless Wonder Hello Kitty.

Bad Badtz Maru is a penguin with an attitude and a sweet little white seal-girlfriend. I'm fond enough of him to the extent that I've made the woman buy almost all the merchandise we can find, including the water-bottle, utensils and cutlery, clothes etc. What's not to like? Looks and personality wise, we're quite similar if I say so.

So imagine my shock when I saw this!

Before: in fine condition

After: beak ripped out. Likely cause of death - suffocation

Round up the usual suspects!!! Witnesses, come forward!!!

Drunk Hobo Doe offers information, but before I could interview him...

*Hic* I... fink can helllp... ooh, wotta kick... this Shirazzzzz... *dead*

He collapses and dies! His Shiraz was POISONED!!!

Reporting back to the office. In the midst of filing confidential documents and awaiting phone calls by Russian strangers code-named "Yellow Submarine", the Police Chief is NOT amused.

I must say I'm disappointed, Inspector. Even I could keep a hobo alive, and make him talk to boot!

Back to the dangerous streets... on a hunch I speak to the city's celebrated courtesan, Chocolate [the] Tart. She owes me a favour, so she gladly gives information.

You only heard it from a little bird in a tree, okay?

Then we grab the BROTHER OF THE SUSPECT and give him a good beating!!! This is my favourite part!!! Hwoarrr!!!

"Stop! Stop! I'll tell you everything!!!" The petty gangster known as "Little Blackbear" squealed after the nth swipe to his ribs.

You'll come with me into custody and I'll BEAT the truth outta ya, Boonster!


Inspector C. Pip [C stands for COOL]

alamak, poor bad badtz maru..
aiyah Pip dun beat your brother lah. Can use superglue one mah
Aha! Aha! I didn't beat Maru up! Read part two!

I am the Inspector ok! I am a GOOD GUY!!!


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