Thursday, March 23, 2006

Cooking for Seven [Cats]

[Note: Long overdue post - I started this on Monday before I went over to the pet supplier, in case you're wondering about the strange inversion of events ie previous post.]

We FORGOT to replenish the cat food over the weekend, and were totally out by this morning. I called my pet food supplier and she said that her stocks for what I wanted were coming in only tomorrow. And she's based in the East Coast, which is quite far from mine humble domicile.

So I decided not to go over till tomorrow. For today, I had to come up with something for a bunch of rowdy gluttonous kitties, some of which are not only greedy but picky as well.

I decided to cook something safe and nutritious, ie my Homestyle Diarrhoea Control Recipe of Beef Mince and Carrot in Brown Rice Mash. [It works, really. Good for kitty's sore little intestines.]


I chucked the brown rice in the cooker and it's off to Ye Olde Supermarket. Dang. No beef mince?! The closest I could get to a viable meat source was chicken breast fillets.

Pah! I spit on you, stupid Shop 'N' Save! But beggars can't be choosers. Bought 500 grams of breasty meat. Ran home, chased seven hungry kitties out the kitchen. Rushed like crazy to get the food going while seven raspy screechy yowling banshees urged me on from outside the kitchen.


The next mistake I made was chopping instead of grating the carrot. Wah lau stupid! Carrot chop so big now can mash meh? So simple lidat your mudder nair teach you issit!*

[*Translation: Goodness gracious, what an unintelligent decision to make. Have you not considered that chopped carrot is relatively harder to mash than grated? Surely your maternal parent would have taught you such simple skills - or hasn't she!]



Finally I was happily cooking. La la la la la. I could smell chicken, rice and carrot. And burning paper. Mmmm.


Just in time, I grabbed this huge Japanese biscuit box wrapper from the flame before it could burn up and poison me until I died-ed!

I took a quick look at the wrapper - it read How about taking this cake at your tea time?

In my flustered state I mumbled Oh yeah?! Well how about you getting outta my way when I'm cooking here!

Yup. I had hit the wall of Impending Insanity. I was conversing with paper products.

[The tiny text at the bottom of the wrapper is the actual reason why I kept it. It reads:
"This cake burning politely one by one is soft and fresh. It is a luxurious rarity. Enjoy disposition of confectionerry craftsman. It sends deliciousness to you. It becomes all the more delicious in cooling it in a refrigerator." Wahahahhahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]


*mashmashmash by hand with wooden spoon to achieve thick porridge-like consistency*

At last, the food was ready. Actually it took only about 20 minutes but with the wailing outside the door, it felt like forevAR.

The kitties seem to like it... at least they had a go at the stuff.
I've made enough for at least four large meals per kitty from this early evening till tomorrow afternoon, so they shouldn't be complaining or writing strongly-worded letters to SPCA Singapore and/or Amnesty International.

Obviously it's been a long time since I cooked a proper meal, or for that matter had a normal family life. I wish I had the time and energy. To cut a long story short, today's experience has definitely confirmed a major career decision I'm going to make in a few months' time. :)

Today has also renewed my admiration for them clever folks at Avoderm and Natural Balance. They make feeding cats look so easy.

Teddy sends his compliments to the chef

[Update: The cats finished all the chicken-carrot-rice-mash in 36 hours; now they're bulldozing through beef-mince-carrot-rice-mash with biscuits on the side.]


My kitties never eat anything we cooked, not that we are bad cooks or use inferior ingredients. At most they will take a nibble or lick it a few times. Qi shi wo le! We have sworn off cooking anything for them. Those ingrates!!!
oh catdonna, you have such not-fussy kitties. like kxbc, my brood dont appreciate my cooking.

even when i steam fish, they snubbed salmon and "michael jackson", only approved fish breed is tuna, mackerel and "kuning" (which I deboned like crazy).
Whah you so fantastic. And the cats love it. More.....?
I'm glad Teddy enjoyed it, wouldn't like to think of him going hungry! (Us larger ginger boys have to keep our figures you know). If I had to wait for my mum to COOK for me I'd starve to death.
So there I was, lounging around, in my t-shirt and boxer shorts, peering down
O'er many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.
When suddenly I hear a ringing, I reached around me feeling
For the contraption (also set to vibrating), and promptly knocked it to the floor.
Heaving a sigh I scrambled, looking for the phone on the floor.
"Crap," I muttered, and nothing more.

"A call from home!" I said, I flipped opened the phone and I wait,
For the good news of lottery won or a pet newly bought from the store.
Then I hear a familiar drone, this utter noise from an old crone,
Issuing forth from my motorola phone saying, "Eh Ko, do something for me hor?"
"If I could have a dollar", I thought, "whenever this person asks this of me lor."
"I'd be set for life, for evermore!"

"Have you read my blog lately? It's the best!" she rattled on steadily,
As I quickly marshalled my usual excuses to the fore.
"I've made it possible for anybody to post comments, if they speak kindly
About the cats, so go quickly, and post something everyone would adore!"
"That's easy," I thought, "I know what everyone would adore......"
"A picture of Jamie! and nothing more."

But this whole blog is still about the cats, although I've no doubt
That people would find me and my wonder dog much less of a bore.
But this duty I must perform, as her brother for close to XX decades long,
To this girl or she'll kick up a storm, leaving a trail of bloody violence and gore.
So here's my 1st contribution, to avoid any bloody violence and gore.
Post it as it is, or you'll hear from me....... Nevermore!

P.S. Got caught up in my own cleverness, and forgot to post anything about your cats. Haha. Will do it next time.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Oops. Made an embarrassing mistake in the previous comment n had to delete.

kxbc: Well, Chocolate took some time to warm up to the food too. In fact she didn't eat for the first day, but hunger overtook her and now she's fine. Cats are strangely picky sometimes, aren't they?

ksn: You have some "atas" cats! :) What's "michael jackson" though?

Fat Eric: I really like how Ted uses his rabbit toy to mark territory. Do you do that too? Be patient and maybe one day your Mum will cook! She is very busy you know... I'm in the same job as she is, I think. Although my "clients" are older. But it's not easy.

cat_aunty and animalfamily: Glad you like it! :)

jencrs: every family has a strange member studying overseas and in our family, it's you. I see Australia hasn't robbed you of your poetic aspirations. :P When you coming back?
eh, don't want to think about it lah. i'll be back when i'm back. so no one wants to take boonie and lucie yet? how about that pom?
Ah. Will post on the pom soon once I get the pics.
Hear that gurgling sound? That's me, drowning in my own bile... am having a hissy fit of jealousy! The home slackers refuses homecooked food! I want yours! *petulence*

Hmmm...that dish (before mashing) does look like it could feed a human. We look forward to the result of your confirmed career decision. ;)
Oh, I just saw the sign off by in Lawson? Heheh...
PNS: Isn't it strange how cats will eat the weirdest things, lick butts, taste cockroaches etc but WON'T try our lovingly cooked delicacies? Sometimes I really do think they're crazy.

auntie p: You're right, the food is actually edible for humans too! And yes I have secret aspirations to be able to cook food and still look sexy at the same time... like Nigella... and not a harassed Southeast-Asian maid!!! :P
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