CatDonna's Cats

To stop Doe escaping from the house ANYMORE, to eat exotic fruit and share his experience with us on our beds/ floors/ carpets/ sofas/ almost every bleeding surface imaginable, the husband and I decided to tighten the plastic mesh we'd placed over the rather large laundry room window.

So we set to work in the evening after a horrible dinner of takeaway pizza [if any, ahem, reputable pizza establishment recommends their cinnamon bread sticks you are to slam the phone down screaming "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!". Those damn... things are Satan's unwashed anal probes. They even look the part].

The husband stayed in the house to fix the mesh from the inside; I went out with the stepladder to help fasten the mesh with plastic clips.

Then we realised a flaw in our fantastic plan: we couldn't adequately tighten down one particular corner of the mesh, because the window grille was one of those useless decorative ones that didn't extend to all corners of the window. To rub salt in the wound, Doe came by while we were trying to solve the problem, and demonstrated to us how he would pull back the mesh in that corner before crawling through to freedom.

Finally husband came up with one of his effective yet highly quirky ideas. We, uhh, have a lot of disposable chopsticks handy [from all that Chinese takeaway]. Chopsticks. Grille. Lots of plastic clips. Yeah, we did that.

And with the gift of amazing timing that I seem to possess recently, a neighbour walked by while I was balancing on the ladder in my tatty old nightgown, hair bunned up, tying wooden chopsticks onto a window. Husband was behind the window and conveniently stooped down to pick something up/hide, while I smiled desperately at Her [I dunno her name] and tried to make small talk.

Oh, did I mention that this neighbour hates animals?

"Err, hello! We're fixing the window so the cats can't escape." GRIN.

She said "Oh!" and smiled back, but couldn't entirely hide the horror in her eyes or suppress the vibe of Oh-god-the-value-of-my-treasured-property-is-depreciated-by-this-here-goddamn-crazy-goddamn-cat-goddamn-woman.

Ah well. It's done, anyway. Until we come up with a better idea.


Trapped, the X-Cats tried to eye-laser their way out of the Chopstick Gulag

Don't you love it? How the top left corner looks so stylish. Modern Oriental, you think?


CatDonna