Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Happy New Year! And Introducing Chocolate

I hope you had a grand new year! 2006 will be even better, I can feel it in my whiskers.

Introducing Chocolate:

Choc (left) with Polly (right): isn't she beautiful.
Full chocolate tabby markings in an uncommon shade of red-brown (unfortunately not very clear here).

The woman found Chocolate as a 3-month-old in a dingy old coffeeshop begging for scraps of curried chicken. Chocs was skinny as heck but the woman, being the superficial person with low standards that she is, thought Chocs had the potential to be taken off the streets and adopted.

Fast forward two weeks and the woman decides to keep this new kitten herself. That quiet, stuck up little tabby with a frame so thin I could crush it with a sneeze?!?!? WE WERE SO MAD!!!!!!! WE WEREN'T CONSULTED!!!!!!!! So we made things difficult for the newbie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet another escape attempt foiled by interfering little tortoiseshell

But over time we grew tired of this game. Bullying the quiet one wasn't so fun because all she did was flee or surrender with stoic grace, then the humans would run over and cuddle stupid Choc; in the end we moved on to fatty Teddy who is so wonderfully soft and slow and stupid and screaming. Heh heh!

Soooooooo at the end of this long storytelling session I want all of you to know that I HATE CHOC because Choc is irritating Choc is quiet and gentle and sucks up "affectionately" to the stupid humans they say I HATE CHOC Choc is called Choc because of her uncommon full red-brown tabby markings Choc is stuck up and annoying I HATE CHOC you can't bully her because her sense of humour was surgically removed at birth and she doesn't scream like Teddy I HATE CHOC because now she's not skinny anymore she is bigger than me and in my moments of insecurity i realise she is outstandingly beautiful with a perfect long tail and i don't have that and i am irrational paranoid and jealous I HATE I HATE HATE HATE CHOC.

Otherwise she's ok.


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