CatDonna's Cats

Does Pip Know?

2007-09-08T12:40:00.001+08:00

She's been clingy lately.

Pip crept into bed and slept curled up next to me under the covers all night long. She hasn't done that for a long time.

And when we're not asleep Pip's lying on my lap doing her purring/kneading/napping thing.

She's acting all kittenish.
I hope she's alright.

No News Is...

2007-08-26T18:42:00.000+08:00

all sorts of news:

1. I've taken on a full-time relief teaching job, ON TOP OF my other part-time tuition jobs (all ten of them kids, mostly frantic 'A'-level examination year students). So my teaching/marking workload has shot up by about 500% since mid-July.

2. lambj, your gift package is still with me in a shameful half-packed state. I'm so sorry. Term break's in two weeks, I promise it'll be sent out by then. *sad face*

3. I've decided to study and sit for a language proficiency examination so that I won't be utterly useless in a country that the husband and I are considering a temporary move to. The exam is in December and I'm not up to par with the revision (not with all the teaching). Oh my God.

4. I've just discovered that I'm six weeks pregnant.

Hence no blogging for so long.
I've missed ye, lovelie blogge.
I'll be back soon.

CatDonna
ps - Just checked my gmail account. I'm SO SORRY I didn't realise you guys were mailing me and wondering where I'd vanished! But thank you all for your concern. My sincerest apologies for not apparently replying; I haven't checked my personal account since forever because I've been too busy and pre-occupied. SORRY!!!

Jetlag I Hatechuuuuu

2007-07-11T04:01:00.000+08:00

Regular Programming resumes once the body clock realigns itself.

++Update++ And a disturbing picture:

Taken from www.anorexianervosapictures.com

All I can say is, if you wanna kill yourself then go ahead, but leave the cat out of it.
It's heartbreaking.

Raspberry Cat

2007-06-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

The evening gloom falls over the church of St. Tudwal, Llanstadwell

Some pix for youuuuuu

Raspberries from the MIL's garden. They have a garden and an orchard, quite a bit of land. The apple trees are bearing fruit but we won't be around to taste them.

We need to harvest the raspberries every 48 hours or so. That's how often they give us another ripe crop, yummy!
So we eat 'em raw or cooked in puddings and all sorts.
Although this being rural Wales, the raspberries usually carry their little friends with them. I'm not talking tiny aphids, I'm referring to juicy inch-long earwigs and fat ladybugs and other... hugeass multi-legged things that we have to check for before we eat.

Raspberries are soft, sweet and tart, with many little seeds and tiny hairs.

Once in a while you'll bite into something that goes crunch, that's bitter and mushy and the tiny hairs, well, they're more fibrous, like little legs... then you swallow.

It's good sometimes not to know.
But really. Yummy stuff, if you ignore the extra protein.

**********

It's cold out despite being summer, so the critters outside try to come in and warm up a bit, poor things.

That's how the husband was bitten by a 3-inch long centipede in bed.
Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!

I love the country life.

**********

Ah... 'tis ye. Dids ye brings it then, lassss?

Here I am.
Gives us the passssword, luv.
Ummm... "Dwy ddim yn gwybod"*...
Closssse enough, comes ye over then.

* "I don't know" (Welsh)

I bring great-tasting, low-calorie bribes** from exotic lands.
Cor' Lumme! Be that mine treatsiessss, luvvie?!

**Katsuoboshi (Bonito flakes) from Taiwan. I haven't met a cat that didn't love this at first bite.

Yummmmmmmmmm

I should go. Everywhere, spies are watching.
Well you knows where I always issss, luv.
Bye now Mister Black Cat.
Till next time then, ta.

CatDonna

Welsh Summer (Too Rainy For Pics)

2007-06-21T19:08:00.001+08:00

You can click here if you want to see how warm summer is in Wales at the moment. Remember, click on Milford Haven, that's where I am right now.
Really, check out the dang temperatures.

Welsh Summer! Flying Pig! Margarita on the Rocks! Nice Well-Behaved Pip! I'll have an ice-cream, nice and hot please!
Welsh Summer!!!
Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!

*********

So here I am in the FIL's study. They've gone off for a couple of days so it's just me, the Husband and a guest from Romania called Marius for the next three days.

I realise I've dreadfully underpacked for this trip, and I've only got the one denim jacket.
The Husband is walking around in three layers of clothing.
Yesterday the MIL hung a batch of washing out to dry and almost lost it all; the wind ripped the clothes right off the line.
It's the sort of wind where you have to make sure your feet are firmly on the ground or else you'll fall (I almost did, yesterday) - the wind actually sweeps you off and pushes you down.
Heavy downpours everyday since we came.

Speaking of feet. My feet are numb. Fingers ditto.

*********

Getting severe withdrawal symptoms for my favourite music, oh why didn't I invest in an iPod or something.
It's getting so bad I lie in bed and play the songs in my head.
Quoting Silverchair, "I'm a freak."

*********

A couple days ago I found Mister Black Cat asleep in the graveyard next to where I'm staying.

So I fed him a bunch of bonito flakes, piled on his little tum as he lay on the grass.
He didn't know what it was at first, then stuck out his tongue and licked.
The look on his face was priceless, ZOMG ZIS BE GOOOOD SMACKKKK!!!!!1111oneone
The whole bunch of flakes disappeared really fast.

*********

I haven't seen many cats so far (what with the weather we're having they're prolly all hiding), but here is what I saw when I was in the UK last year. So clickety click.

Actually I was here pretty much all of June last year when the weather WAS MUCH MUCH BETTER DANG IT.
So do have a look, it's pretty much my life again right now.

*********

Have received your lovely mails, lambj and jenniferyq. Am already happily buying little knick-knacks for you, so fun. :)
kuro-shiro-neko, you've got some stuff from me too (yes I read comments!). Need your address though, so do mail me. ;)

Sorry I haven't replied to mails, I usually need to take some time for composing and I haven't had that luxury. Soon.

*********

The husband read my previous post, saw the pic in the previous post, muttered something Welsh under his breath and stormed off sulking.
Oops. I think I've just lost a blog reader.

*********

Did I mention I had a great time in Taiwan despite having mild food poisoning and diarrhoea - AGAIN - for about five days?*
I am so good at this "take care of your health" business. So good.

*please don't get mad, i'm just stupid like that

CatDonna

Here I Am (Update - Sleep = Randomness)

2007-06-19T03:38:00.000+08:00

in Llanstadwel, Milford Haven; Wales, the UK.
At the in-laws'.

Taiwan was fun. I wanna go back already.
Then I went back home to Singapore for 24 hours to repack, regroup.
Except I ended up not sleeping much because there was a miscommunication with the catsitter, who didn't keep the seven dwarves in their kitchen cave.

So they all slept on my bed without human supervision.

I came home at 1 am to a bedroom that stank of cat pee, a bed covered in three large puddles of old pee and vomit, and my pillow destroyed.
Then when I put the bedsheets in to wash, the washing machine broke down.

I ended up napping on the couch at 7 am. Woke up at 11 am with six cats around and on me all sleeping very well. Except for Pip who was acting up again and sleeping on top of the washing machine (I don't want to know if there is a connection here I should consider).

I've been kinda asleepwithmyeyesopen the past couple days, gave very strange answers to some of the customs/immigrations officials unlucky enough to deal with me, and yeah.
That's that.

12 hr flight + 4 hr bus ride + 2 hr drive =
bloody bloody tired

The grinning Husband* ran up to me at Heathrow, gave several big juicy kisses while I just stood there in a daze (I'm not very affectionate, I know), and then said "I read your blog. While we're on holiday I absolutely forbid any mention of your current favourite boy."

*We haven't seen each other for a couple months so he was grinning and affectionate. No, the Husband doesn't habitually run about grinning and kissing people.

Uh, okay.

The gayest pic I could find of Favourite Boy.
Gaygaygaygaygayyyyyyyyyyyyy

Don't look at me. I'm not saying anything.
CatDonna

ps - I'm an evil spiteful naughty wife. I know already. Hahahahaaaa!!!

pps - I'm not writing down Fav Boy's name in this blog because I don't want his rabid fans to google his name, then come here and shriek at me for perceived offences against their beloved M******** K******, eg "How dare you insinuate that MK is homosexual, I am planning to marry/rape/abduct him and have his beautiful babies" etc. I mean, I just think the guy is cute. Leave me alone, dammit.

ppps - Okay, I think I get paranoid when I haven't had enough sleep.

pppps - But I also think that the Husband, lovely sexy kind intelligent housework-doing man that he is, shouldn't be getting so riled over some good-looking japanese actor of dubious sexuality.

And she's off!!!

2007-06-10T00:58:00.000+08:00

We can only sit and stare.

Bah! We wanna go too!

But we can't open windows,

No matter how hard

We press our noses against the panes...

Stupid Woman!
Quick! Where's our Death Note?!

(Just kidding.)

Love,
Boonichi Fatsoyama and
Tedsuya FullCheekwara

ps - Momie Ladie will you stop makin fun of us pls. Teddy and Boonie

**********

Contest Prizewinners, please refer to comments in previous post (I ended up posting multiple comments because I am so scatterbrained today, I don't even know where to begin).

I haven't started packing yet btw. Flying tomorrow morning.

CatDonna

Chickennnnnnnnnnnnnnn

2007-06-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

++Update: Good Lord I just realised that I haven't been citing my sources for the contest pics. And truth be told I can't remember where. If by some crazy chance you, yes YOU, dear reader recognise any of these pics as yours please let me know and I'll acknowledge it. Thanks.++

*********

... is this competition.

Final pics below, and if you live in Japanese/Chinese-speaking Asia and you don't know this then SHAME ON YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for readers from other countries, I am very sorry.

With the swiftness of intelligence that CatDonna is very well-known for, it took a while for the fact to sink in my tiny head that you guys probably have NO IDEA who I'm talking about.

I'm so sorry. *extremely sheepish*
But if you do know then more power to you, yay.
Keep reading, there's something for you at the bottom of the post.

And the final pics are

Promotional pics for Mystery Person's breakthrough movie

I love love love Mod-style eyeliner and he carries it so well, coddangit

A scene from his breakthrough movie. Check out ze lollipop!
(My Favourite Boy is in drag on the right. So kawaii, these Japanese trannies.)*

Okay, just tell me name of actor and title of breakthrough movie.

You have until this Friday, so easy right.
All correct answers get a little gift from me...
This contest is sooooooooo
Chickennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

*Kidding lah.

*********

Actually I had two reasons for this competition:

1. The husband's taken the camera to Maine and I'm stuck with another camera, my brother's, the USB cable of which is NOT WITH ME hahahaha so CLEVURRRRRRR. So no new cat pics, and I must have pics on my blog dammit. (I'm very turned on by visual and aural stimulation, I need to be surrounded by images and music all the time, especially music, and it must be KILLER good.)

2. I'm leaving for Taiwan and then the UK from 10 June onwards, will be back by 6 July. Will blog as often as I can from wherever I am. And I thought it would be nice to have a dumb excuse to buy something for you guys, 'cause I really enjoy buying little gifts for people, SEE HOW NICE I AM TO MY READERS! Because at CatDonna's Cats, we do it ALL FOR YOU!!!!1111!!

Then alamak I realised too late that this contest is unfair to non-Asian readers.
Lesson: Don't try anything funny when you're too sick to think straight.

Okay how about this!
Readers NOT from Asia, please drop a comment and share about your favourite movie/actor to win a little gift from Taiwan or Wales! (If you want.)

Lalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaa.
CatDonna

24 Hours Later...

2007-06-02T10:08:00.000+08:00

... I've lost another half a kg or so. Which means I'm two kg down after three days' worth of food poisoning.

Oh and it's my first time too (well, kind of). Having food poisoning like this, I mean. CatDonna's Legendary Stomach of Steel, having withstood the ravages of dubious curries in India, eating next to rubbish heaps in Manila, and digesting unrecognisable/inedible bits in street food all over third-world Asia*, is finally done in by her own cooking.

*Damn you nice friendly bunch of people in P*****n for serving me half-raw pig eyeball and watching me chew, swallow, then thank you politely.

**********

... Someone went running in the same nature reserve where I was inexplicably trying to dehydrate/exhaust myself to death. And was killed by a falling tree.

**********

Quite a bit in 24 hours, wouldn't you say.

**********

Victor, we haven't forgotten the meme. We're drafting it now. It will be out soon.

**********

Because NOW I wanna give a "Name That Strange Ugly Boy"* contest clue againnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!1111eleventyone111

*You know who are you are: happy now? Sheesh.

Clue 2: He likes sweets and desserts, BOTH ONSCREEN AND OFF.

(Okay slight digression here: who else is slightly freaked out, and not in a good way, by the above pic of CatDonna's Current Favourite Boy? I mean, the guy looks like he's 12 in this photo. All these teenagers going around doing the sexy thang to get gigs and stuff.

Gosh, they sure start 'em young in Japan.)

And here's the actor's feline doppelganger, Doe enjoying his own favourite sweet confection: a nice lychee ice-lolly.

BIG lick now

Mmmm, that was nice

Boonie wants a share

Eh. This contest is easy.
Once I put up the final pic (and that will be soon).

Love lots
CatDonna
ps - Off to loo again.

Seven Steps to Losing 1.5 Kg* In 48 Hours + Another Contest! Does CatDonna Never Learn?!?!?!

2007-05-31T16:07:00.000+08:00

*That's 3.3 lbs for those who are not fans of the Metrix.

1. Forget breakfast. Put on running gear.
2. Forget water. Leave the house.
3. Go for a run at your nearest nature reserve. Try to run for about 90 minutes.
4. Wonder why you feel like Weak Thirsty Death Warmed Over.
5. Go home and decide that you just need some food to feel less crappy. Eat toast with scrambled eggs and three-day-old salmon from the fridge that you reheated halfway, then thought what the heck.
6. Get a fever. Your temp should rise in a couple hours. When you start feeling really bad, start doing work to take your mind off it.
7. In about three hours, the salmon will start doin' the jiggy. Be warned: the resulting butt purge is about as close to a hazardous liquid explosion as most of us (not otherwise skilled in biochemical warfare) will ever get.

Baby Pip demonstrates how when you gotta go,
you just gotta go

Do not, do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE stubbornly wiggle your bursting bottom on the chair saying "Hang on CatDonna just finish this up and you can go, oww oww just a while more hurryyyyyyyyyy..... OMIGOD MY SHORTS ARE WET".

Hypothetically speaking.

Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa.

CatDonna

**********

ps - Because of my state of delirious dehydration (oh and I didn't sleep last night cos I was so excited) I have decided to put up a pic of my current Favourite Boy (TM)!

Clue 1: He's Japanese.

Who wouldn't love a face like that? Especially when the parting in his hair and his slightly peeved expression remind me of Baby Doe:

Awwwwwwwwww

Anyway. Leave a comment and tell me who this guy is, and which well-known movie(s) he was in - and you get a prize!
No seriously! I mean it! Just like the other time when I meant it too but NOBODY, absolutely frickin' NOBODY wanted my prizes cos they thought I was gonna burn their houses down or molest their cats or something WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *bursts into uncontrollable weeping*

Okay, I'm serious. (Why did I just start giggling?)
PRIZES, people.
Like this. Only the winner was too shy/humiliated by association with me to admit it was actually a prize THAT'S RIGHT A PRIIIZZZZEE from my earlier little contest.
Heh heh heh!

pps - My husband says I always like the ugly boys. Even in my state of d. d. I know that's not a smart thing to say.

ppps - Breaking out in cold sweat, why???

pppps - This contest ends Friday 8 June. I shall give more clues every couple days, along with short kitty posts, I promise.

ppppps - No really, I'm serious. God.

Meme: 7 Random Facts About Pip

2007-05-25T21:35:00.000+08:00

That's me!

++ Here are the rules:Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven cats to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog! ++

Tagged by Five Cat Style. Here we go:

1. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHIHUAHUA, OMG.
A couple weeks before the woman rescued newborn me and my brother, she already had her heart set on adopting a couple little dogs. She was thinking of chihuahuas, papillons or pekes (you'll be amazed what pedigrees are up for adoption, she says).

30 May 2005: Two weeks with newborn kittens fighting for the bottle,
and the kitchen is a disaster area

She never owned cats all her life (previous fostering doesn't count 'cause it's only temporary), didn't actually know very much about them, and honestly didn't want them. Being the crass tasteless peasant that she is, CatDonna preferred dogs.

And she was going to name them Pip and Doe.

Guess who got the doggy names instead

Oh, the humiliation.
Woman, you should have gone all the way and called us Spot and Rover, yeah?

2. I FOOLED 'EM INTO THINKING I WAS A GOOD KITTY.

At about four weeks

For the first twenty-four hours after my rescue, anyway.
We were barely two weeks old. My eyes (and Doe's) were sealed shut and bulging with the pus from the severe cat flu we were suffering, and we were struggling to breathe due to the fluid in our congested lungs. Plus it was no fun tied up in the plastic bag where the woman found us.

It was 3 am and the woman couldn't get any KMR or vet care till 9 am - she didn't sleep that night trying to keep us alive and comfortable (LOLOLOLOL!!!!!).

Doe kept making these strange gurgling sounds and trying to nuzzle up to the woman's hands (I'm POSITIVE he was crying but the pussy denies everything now). I kept very quiet and stayed in a corner of the cardboard box where she put us up for the night.

It was then that the stupid woman erroneously assumed that Doe was the outgoing one and I was the shy, quiet one. Har har har.

The next day we went to the vet and got cleaned up and medicated. Which I absolutely hated.
So I opened my little mouth,
SHRIEKED like a demon,
wildly bit, headbutted and wriggled my way out of the vet's grip, and once I dropped onto the examination table I started
crawling frantically on my belly to destinations unknown and to
FREEDOM, screaming all the way.
(This despite being blind, slowly drowning in my own mucus and barely able to walk on two-week-old legs.)

And I haven't stopped being a shrieky, wriggly, escape-artisty little pain in the a** since.

Still cute as heck though, nyah nyah nyah!

Point 2 is really long so the rest will be short. Don't worry.

3. I HATE EVERYKITTY IN THIS HOUSE.
I make it very clear to everyone that the woman should have stopped rescuing/fostering cats after she decided to keep me (and fine, maybe Doe. Just maybe.)

Since Lucie likes being trashed so much, why not dump her?
What? I'm just saying...

The I is obviously meant for a single-cat household.

I don't bond with anykitty here. I fight with everyone.
My only "friend" is the woman. And I still attack her once in a while.
It's so fun. Ha ha HA!!!!!

4. I HATE THE SOUND OF SNEEZING.
It's such a stupid noise, it's wet, and I always think one day someone's head is gonna explode, judging from the looks on their faces when they let one rip.

When it does happen, I never fail to make my displeasure clear.

Btw why were there so few comments on my last post? Can someone tell me WHY? Huh? What, you don't like it when I blog? Even my previous masterpiece didn't score so well, but when the woman whines about her disgustingness you ALL are so nice to her!

Coddangit!!! If you don't like me just say so, horrid readers, I prolly HATE YOU TOO!!! Fine!!! This will be my LAST POST FURREVER and EVER halleLOOYAHHH AY-MEOWN okay, GOOD RIDDANCE DAMMIT, you NASTY ANNOYING SNOBBISHoooh, head skritchies.
Nice. Purrrrr. Purrrrr.
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

5. THE WOMAN SAYS MY MOOD SWINGS ARE CRAZY SCARY.
I don't know why she says that.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

6. I LOVE TOOTHPASTE.
When the woman brushes her teeth I'm always somewhere near; then I jump up, cling onto her nightie with three legs and madly swing a convenient front paw (usually my left) in the direction of the toothbrush.
Success is when I manage to steal a tiny lick of tootpaste despite the woman fighting me off and recently, keeping me locked away when she brushes her teeth.
So if you ever meet the woman and notice little scratches down her collarbone towards her chest, you now know why.

7. I HAD A FUNNY CONDITION THAT MADE ME COME ON HEAT VERY FREQUENTLY.
Like every two weeks or so. I think the woman cancelled three sterilisation appointments because of this thingy. Apparently it's not so safe for me to be neutered when I'm on heat.

Regular/Long-time readers will know what happened next.
Life has this way of kicking your butt sometimes, hey?
Like they say, you are only as strong as your weakest link.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Click for pix!)

I do wonder how Hazel and Fiver are doing, sometimes.
The woman might go a-visiting soon.

I'm not sure who's received this meme already so I'm gonna leave it open.
If you want to be tagged by someone as exquisite as the Mine Self, let the secretary know and she will dispatch a dictated comment from the I at the soonest opportunity.

Pipperina Princess

Eh, I'm alright now.

2007-05-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the silence.

The flu took over a week to clear up and this week is Mid Year Exams for the colleges, so the kids I tutor needed some extra attention.

Anyway am back! Thank you everyone for your concern.

Fever Back

2007-05-12T09:01:00.000+08:00

and higher than before.

Trooping off to the doctor after work today.

At least I'm not in real pain. Just aching.

Riiiiight, I'm not making sense. Bye.

Disfigured!

2007-05-11T18:00:00.000+08:00

Just now while trimming her ridiculously long claws,

Pip punched my face

She aimed a sharp jab at my jaw with her right paw, sharp claws all out (I was trimming her left paw).
It was a punch. Not a swipe or a shove.
Pip clearly meant to hit me - not to push me away and escape, as most cats would do.

KaPowww

Now there's a long scratch running from my mouth, along my jaw, courtesy of the P. Princess.
Great, am ugly/ier.

**********

Gosh, I'm getting real sleepy.
Was doing a bit of work just now and it's amazing how fast I get out of breath when I'm ill.
Foof.

Buh.

2007-05-11T11:44:00.000+08:00

Lucie performs an interpretive mime of how I feel right now
(That's Lucie [front] and Boonie [back] for readers new to this blog)

I think I'm sick.

Ran a fever yesterday and my head is stuffed with disgusting technicolour yucky mucus phlegm... things.

No fever today, we'll see how this goes.
I do actually feel better than yesterday, though, so that's a good thing.

Things are looking up, hey Ted?

Been trying to get the cats' nails clipped all by myself.
Slowly, slowly, we are getting there, and I am becoming a human pincushion.
Eh, I think this means no low necklines for a while.

**********

Dangnabbit, stop sneezing!

Pip doesn't like it when I sneeze, she'll tell me off.
She mumbles, grumbles and whines quietly after each sneeze.
Glaring in my direction so it's very clear who's not in her good graces.

The Look of Deathly Annoyance

Nothing new, she's been doing this since she was a kitten.
Stuck up little thing, the Pipperina Princess.

Will reply to comments in a bit.
Thank you for commenting, I always like to know who's out there reading this here fine blog.

++UPDATE: Ooh, now I'm not allowed to cough either. The Princess holds very strong views about etiquette.++

CatDonna

Argh Argh AAARRRGGGHHHHH

2007-05-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

SOME DUMB CAT PEED IN THE KITCHEN SINK

the husband thinks it's prolly cos Pip wasn't allowed near the litter trays by the Boonie and Lucie Bully Duo

I AM SO MAD
aargh arggh aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh

THAT IS IT
i am going to TAKE A DUMP
in their WATER BOWL

Latest Pippenings

2007-05-08T14:36:00.000+08:00

Wuh?

Pip:

#1: Snuggled up on my shoulder while I was working on the computer, then chewed off a chunk of my hair about the size of my pinky and swallowed it. Had to hunt her down and force-feed her a generous dollop of Laxatone to make sure there wouldn't be any hairball digestion problems later.

#2: Was discovered sitting at the end of the bed, eyes popping out their sockets, STARING SO HARD at the husband and self having some bedtime fun, her head swivelling excitedly from the Man to the Woman to the Man to the Woman etc to make sure she wasn't missing out on ANY of the action. (Very unnerving.)

If you saw these eyes staring at you naked, you'd freak out too

#3: Waged Armageddon against Boonie the Force of Tabby Blackness. Managed to overturn the study in a matter of minutes. And I don't know how Pip manages to scream so loud for so long. Operatic performance troupes have something to learn from this shrieky little cat.

Pip on high alert. Notice the front right paw...

Pip parades the spoils of war - Boonie's fur in a claw

#4: Is nuzzling on my lap all curled up as I type this, purring sweet and low, looking for all the world like she wouldn't hurt a fly.

Awww

CatDonna

Boonie. Black. BEAR. (Hug.)

2007-04-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

"That's one large head, boy"

There's something awfully huggable about our largest housecat, Boonie Blackbear.

I don't like being hugged!

What could it be? His ticked black tabby fur? His amber eyes?
His kittenish demeanour? His soft, high-pitched meow?
The fact that, like Teddy, Boonie is... ummm, somewhat slow on the uptake?

(He's quite a fleshy, furry armful as you can see.)

Someone saw his pic once and said Boonie (and Lucie) might have some Abyssinian blood in them.
I'm not certain how true that is but I'm pretty sure one of their parents was a pedigree, which explains how the siblings are so large-built with eyes of an unusually deep amber.
(Only we don't know what breed exactly.)

Let me go

Any guesses? I'm just asking. I know very little about pedigrees.

CatDonna

Cont'd: CatDonna's Cats and the Glass of Alco DOOM

2007-04-30T22:00:00.000+08:00

Don't be fooled by the water bottle behind this glass.
This glass, of recent date, was a vessel of the grape.
The Alco Doom.

We thought the cats wouldn't touch alcohol, but we were wrong.
Doe was caught on camera licking the last little drops off the rim.
Thank goodness the glass was otherwise empty.

Doe sleeps it off, drunken devil.

Will Boonie be similarly tempted? We find out.

Boonie takes a sniff and moves back - he'll not fall prey to the spirits.
Good boy, Boonie!

And so Boonie Blackbear sleeps the sainted sleep of the sober.

CatDonna
ps - At the recent dinner party, a guest saw the husband carrying Boonie and commented that he (the husband) looked like he was carrying a rather large koala bear. That's how furry and beary our Boonster's like, and that's our next post.

CatDonna's Cats & The Crimson Mug Of SHAME

2007-04-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

#1: Pipperina Princess

Oh ho! Water in red mug is always yummers. *lappety lap*

Hmmm... I get the feeling someone's watching.

*Quick look around* Nah, coast clear. Off I go!...

... Oh crud.

#2: JamCream Doenut

Can't believe no one else has found this juicy mug. *Slurp!*

Better take off soon though, there may be spies. *glug glug*

Hahaha and I runawayUMM UMM URR URRGGHHH.
Er, hi?

#3: Chocolate Tigress

Oh, how I love drinking in such a private little area. So cosy.
My face and nothing else.

*gentle sips* Always a lady, even in front of the paparazzi.

*Haughty twitch of tail*
Shame is for peasants.
Honestly, I don't care if I'm caught.

Skrawny Pol

2007-04-28T14:08:00.000+08:00

Polly hates the meds.

I ain't skrawny, yo!
I iz Ninja!
Gonna bust yo' ass!

Pre-meds scruffing

Why ya feed me da Milk Fizzle yo?
Dem kitties is laffin' at me y'all!
Dey callz me dwarf baby! Skrawny Pol!
Dam' deir tupid heads!

KitDonna she see da bottle Milk Fizzle, sez
Ima gonna finish it!
DAM' HELL DA BOTTLE
BIG AZ MAH HEAD!!!

Liquid Milk Thistle supplements, 2.5 ml a day

Ima no goin' fo' blood test yo!
Ima klean!!! No test paws-tive booyah!!!
Drugz iz bad mmmkay y'all!!!!

AH SED MAH LIVER IZ
FIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEE

Post-meds cuddle and praise

**********

Okay thank you enough Polly.

A quick recap:
2005 - Dwarf Kitten Polly came in with a liver defect, a compromised immunity system and some scary blood test results.
2006 - Polly grows a bit! OMG!!! Another blood test; we see improvement with the commencement of Milk Thistle (liver supplement) capsules.
2007 - Polly seems okay but she's still tiny, zipping around at 2.5 kg, while I'm more used to seeing 6+ kg dinosaurs like Boonie and Ted lumbering about.
Their wrestling matches make me nervous too.

I'm probably taking Polly to the vet soon for a follow-up examination, just to make sure that she's fine...

Readers, please tell me what you think: does Polly look healthy?
(Please remember that the camera adds ten pounds, so Polly is actually half the size she appears in the pics, hahaha)

CatDonna

Today's incredibly lame joke: What's Polly's favourite song?
Answer: "Old Man Liver", the hit song from the musical Show Boat.

I thought you all might like to know

2007-04-27T14:06:00.000+08:00

what the menu for the dinner party was, after my previous roast/stew dilemma.

Many thanks to all of you who offered help and suggestions. :)
Unfortunately I wasn't able to access the internet much when I was in Sydney and couldn't contact anyone, so decided to rely on my tried and tested recipes.
I figured it was going to be about 7 or 8 people (us included) so that's do-able.

It was only on a bleary Monday afternoon, recovering from a bad 8-hour flight and late-Sunday-night touchdown at the airport, that details were confirmed:
I had 30 hours to prepare a meal for 15 people.

So relaxing, my pace of life.

CatDonna's "Oh My God Why Must Everyone Only Be Free On A Tuesday"
Dinner Party Menu

Sides (all served chilled)
Chicken pasta salad
Ham, egg and potato salad
Couscous done two ways - mushroom, nut and asparagus; salmon and sundried tomato

Mains
Borscht stew*
Roast leg of pork**

*Yes, the "Honey I Stewed The Kids" stew (why does shredded beetroot both look and smell slightly like blood???). This was a last-minute addition; if I had the time I would have asked for the irish or beef stew recipes instead, I'm pretty sure those would be easier to do, oh shut up CatDonna.
**Thank you tfp, oh most prolific and insightful cat-and-food-blogger (and partner Jac, cook extraordinaire and muse of tfp) who sent that mail on how exactly to roast Pork with the Crunchy Crackle.

Desserts
(served chilled) Chocolate rum mousse
(served hot) Stewed honey mangoes in rum sauce
(There was a bit of rum in the fridge I had to get rid of.)

I took about 9 hours altogether to cook the stuff (including the previous day's 3-hour prep). Maybe I'm horribly inefficient, eh.

So sorry, no photos, I just finished cooking when the barbarians arrived at the gate, then they came in to rape my food and pillage my plates and cutlery while I took a quick shower, ie no time for food photography. Only this.

Half the carnage

The spray bottle on the table was to chase greedy cats off, basically.
Isn't that right, Doe.

Damn

Pip: "Welcome home, woman!"

2007-04-27T11:47:00.000+08:00

Welcome, welcome back! Glad to see you're looking well. At least one of us is happy.

(The Woman: Pip, you've put on weight. I saw a distinct waddle in your gait when you came to greet us.)

Of course I'm fat!
I mean, what kinda lousy slave did you send me while you were away?
The kind that treats me like one of the cats?!?!?!!!!
Pfffffffttttt!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhh, she was horrible to me, oy!
Thankfully I managed to make life hell for her by hiding under the bathroom sink for an entire week, beating her on a regular basis, eating all her bribes and generally refusing to cooperate.

(The Woman: Yes I know, Sue panicked and made an overseas call about the abusive black-and-white cat that disappeared somewhere in the house, and yet somehow managed to eat all the bribes without being caught.)

Indeed! How I languished in sorrow and suffering!
Enduring her constant mistakes, her "stop hiding you stupid cat", her utter lack of respect for My Highness!!!

(Teddy: Momie Ladie, Boonie and Lucie say to let you know that it was Pip who hid in your bedroom and bathroom all week, made the catsitter almost cry, stole all our treats, and did her toilet all over the shower cubicle and in the laundry basket and ON YOUR PILLOW.)

Oh ha ha ha!!! Oh, that was gooood! What a joker that damn Teddy is!
After this I shall show him how much I appreciate his bloody annoying humour.
Ha ha ha!!! Ha!!! HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Teddy gets the hint and runs away in fright.)

Anyway, it's time to catch up.
Thank Cod you're back so it's good times again for everyone...

(The Woman: Pip, why do you like to rest on my boobs so much?!)

*purrrrr* Mmmmm... What?

"Dayum, I should have charged the camera" said the Woman

2007-04-14T14:51:00.000+08:00

"I thoughta you said is a secret"

You'll just have to imagine this:

Polly ran up to an unsuspecting Teddy, wrapped her front legs around his fat neck and attempted to power-slam! him onto the ground.

"Y'swore on ya dog's grave not to tell!"

Thing is, Teddy is twice Polly's weight. But that didn't stop our gutsy gangsta midget.

She really put all her weight into it.

"Dayum, im' gonna hafta kill ya"

Polly pulled Teddy's neck down so hard that she projected her furry little body into the air instead, did an awkward somersault and landed hard on her back with a loud boomf.

Teddy re-enacts Polly's dramatic somersault

She lay on the ground, shocked and breathless - her front paws still wrapped around Teddy - while our Ted just stood there and stared at her in benign wonder.

"And this was how I stared at Polly, like
'Duh, Polly, are you okay?' Heheheheeee!"

So Polly pretended that she'd planned this all along, kicked Teddy hard with her lethal (though short) hind legs.
Then she made a run for it:
before the Woman started her annoying hyena-horse laugh, or worse,
before Teddy hugged her back.

Teddy was so happy.

"WOW! Polly hugged me! We're FRIENDS!"

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Enraged, Polly takes out her humiliating loss of street cred
on a passing stuffed toy

CatDonna
ps - Off to Sydney for a week - am accompanying the husband on a work trip or, as the Chinese call it, being the "flower vase". Buh.
Will update when I can. Let's see what cats we'll meet there!

Down + Roast

2007-04-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Tension arose as the call centre operators began pointing toes (and claws) over the disk-formatting error

Hello hello,

I meant to post but then something happened with the computer *cue ominous thunder* and it REFUSED TO START UP for a couple days, during which I was praying in silent desperation that it wasn't anything too serious because ALL MY WORK IS IN THERE AND I DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER COPY, NOSIRREE.

Yes, stupid of me.

Well, it's back up again so yay for the clever husband (who returned home last night but goes back to Maine in three weeks).

Regular Programming resumes shortly.

**********

Ohhh, we likes our roast

Does anyone have a good recipe for a roast? Like nice roast pork with crackling or a tender roast beef. We don't like the turkey in Singapore and chicken isn't enough to feed the hordes he's inviting over.

If I can't get a good roast idea I'll make borscht stew, but I don't really want to because the kitchen always looks like I've just killed a baby when I'm done (damn beetroot juice stains). Suggestions will be dearly appreciated!

CatDonna

ps - Today I tried to kick the husband's backside, but missed and knee-d Rusty in the jaw instead. Poor, poor baby.

It's Oh So Quiet

2007-04-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

What does Lucie Luckystar have in common with...

A Back Alley Gas Attack by the family dog, Rusty?
Both are silent and deadly, hahaha

A few days ago, I woke up to Lucie's latest shenanigan (something other than her several-times-daily exercise of Today I Kill Pip! Tonight I Dine On Kibble! IN HELLLLLLLL!).

Let me explain.
There is a strange little ritual in this house, where Doe (who has a tricky gastric) vomits, then flattens his ears in fright and scampers off.
Lucie, who is intelligent and a neat freak, runs over to the spot and tries her darnedest (bless her black little soul) either to clean or cover it up.
Usually I beat her to it, but sometimes I'm not around and Lucie gets to try out her little camouflage strategems.

Damn, that cat is too smart for her own good.

[30/03/2007 22:09:43] JF says: hello?
[30/03/2007 22:09:56] CatDonna says: hello
[30/03/2007 22:11:02] JF says: so quiet
[30/03/2007 22:12:11] CatDonna says: like a little mouse
[30/03/2007 22:16:18] JF says: in the house with many kittens!!![30/03/2007 22:16:31] JF says: no wonder so quiet and still
[30/03/2007 22:16:34] CatDonna says: shhh
[30/03/2007 22:16:38] CatDonna says: or lucie will come
[30/03/2007 22:16:51] CatDonna says: and polly will have my tail for supper
[30/03/2007 22:17:07] CatDonna says: somekitty vomited on the table
[30/03/2007 22:17:33] CatDonna says: then it happened again, someotherkitty covered it with my tuition student's script... destroyed it

The student had to redo her assignment

[30/03/2007 22:17:52] JF says: yeah...I think anything of value we cannot leave on surfaces as there is the risk of vomit
[30/03/2007 22:18:15] CatDonna says: yeah but i dunno how the kittens learnt that cover-up trick... it's very devious!
[30/03/2007 22:18:36] JF says: natural...lions do it!
[30/03/2007 22:18:53] JF says: i saw on tv they cover up the zebra bones and stuff
[30/03/2007 22:19:05] CatDonna says: LIONS DON'T KEEP EXAMINATION SCRIPTS NEARBY WHILE THEY VOMIT BISCUITS
[30/03/2007 22:19:28] JF says: but they cover smelly things...
[30/03/2007 22:19:33] CatDonna says: really...
[30/03/2007 22:19:40] CatDonna says: what do they use?
[30/03/2007 22:19:42] JF says: keep the bad hyenas away
[30/03/2007 22:19:46] JF says: the soil/dust
[30/03/2007 22:19:54] CatDonna says: that's DIFFERENT
[30/03/2007 22:20:12] CatDonna says: that's like litter tray etiquette... digging holes around the bones
[30/03/2007 22:20:24] JF says: ? why they dig hole?
[30/03/2007 22:20:35] CatDonna says: no i mean dig dirt and use it as a cover
[30/03/2007 22:20:58] JF says: well if they had paper there i think the lions might use it
[30/03/2007 22:22:20] CatDonna says: yeah... like, all lions have a pile of old newspapers that they keep in their store rooms, i'm sure
[30/03/2007 22:22:23] CatDonna says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
[30/03/2007 22:22:43] JF says: :)

Teddy's Latest Photoshoot cum Personal Drama

2007-03-29T12:39:00.000+08:00

Teddy hides behind the curtain and stares wistfully out the window.

Teddy: Momie Ladie, Tedie go's out to pway?
CatDonna: Ted, I already told you, the baby kitten lisp thingy doesn't work on me.

Teddy: (sigh) Okay, Mommy Ladie, may I play outside? The breeze makes everything so pretty!
CatDonna: You're so much cuter when you're grammatical. You see, that's why a good eduCATion is so important, hahaha.
Teddy rolls his eyes and makes no comment because he is a nice boy.

CatDonna: And anyway, it's a third-storey patio out there, and I'm not counting on you to NOT jump off the ledge chasing bugs. If you know what I mean.
Teddy: (sulking) But that was only the one time.
CatDonna: Twice actually... the other time, you snuck out while I was gardening and teetered on the patio railing, checking out the community cat living downstairs and singing him Teddy songs. That was scary.

CatDonna: It's not safe for kittens out. Come away now or you'll make yourself miserable.
Teddy: I'm NOT a kitten... okay.

Teddy sees a bee going for the basil plants and rushes back to the window.
Teddy: So cool! So cool! I can at least watch, right?

Teddy: (unshed tears in his eyes, sings a most touching song)
"Born free, as free as the something, as free as the other thing, born free to la la la laaaaaa..."
CatDonna: (pause) Let me think about getting you a harness.

Teddy abruptly stops singing after a few minutes, as he slowly realises the implications of what the Mommy Ladie has just said.

HOPE (OR GOOD NATURAL LIGHTING) DAWNS ON TEDDY'S GOLDEN FACE.

Let's see if CatDonna really does get the harness. To Be Continued!...

**********

And just for fun (also because I like this pic a lot), here's Teddy at three weeks.
(Click on pic for enlarged version, woo hoo)
This was taken the day after he was discovered in a tightly sealed plastic bag (with three kitten siblings) that was found dumped next to a rubbish chute in Hougang.

Someone obviously didn't want this kitten and his three litter mates to survive.

Kittens this cute get dumped?
Kittens and cats getting dumped, at all?!
Some people really need an eduCATion.

CatDonna
ps - Yesterday I went to JB for a 2-hour massage in which I was beaten up to within an inch of my life.
I then went home and slept for 13 hours. Insomnia's gone, yay!

Wake-Up Call: The Roster

2007-03-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

The first thing I see this morning, and almost every morning.
Today it's (L-R) Doe, Boonie and Polly.
(Some days Chocolate joins in too, when she feels like mixing with the unwashed masses.)

They basically sleep on the bed with me until:
Either
1. the sun rises

Or
2. the alarm rings

Or
3. I show signs of waking up

Or
4. Any combination of the above

Then they run over to rub their noses and whiskers on my mouth (very itchy), meow into my ear and run their paws all over my face incessantly until I get out of bed.

I used to think the cats probably needed something, so I would run over to the kitchen-cum-cat-room... and the cats would excitedly run in front of me, as if leading the way... only for me to find everything in order.
Fresh food and water present, clean litter, what's the problem?

And now you're awake, you can do the laundry

It took me a while to understand feline humour.

**********

I'm keeping my posts short and sweet for now; the usual Epic CatDonna Posts With Ten Thousand Photos & Snarky Captions will return in a bit (they do take quite a while to do up).

This makes me happy! Working on my stuff and knowing that I'm still blogging, without too much time gone and my sanity intact. I win, yay.

CatDonna
ps - Coming up... Extreme Kitty Sports! Pretty Boy (Cats) Posing Provocatively! Pip Arrested on Charges of Aggravated Molest!

quickie thoughts

2007-03-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

Has this blog fallen asleep?

My camera battery is finally being charged after weeks of acting up (long story).

Yaaaay. So you can expect another post with pics, soon.

**********

Looking at pretty boys makes me feel a little better

Sorry I've been quiet lately. Haven't been in a very good mood at all.

You know that horrible feeling when you're trying to work on a project you really believe in, and all around you people are coming up with similar works that are WOW fan-freakin-tastic and you look at them and you look at yourself and suddenly you feel very very very small.

Yep. It's a battle I fight a lot, being a natural perfectionist and having an uncomfortably competitive streak in me when it comes to certain things I am very passionate about.

But this attitude is stupid, futile and immature, and I'm not making anything better with it. So I'm addressing this issue as well as I can.

I still love this blog and I do miss posting on it! Soon, soon.

**********

It turns out I have the exact same birthday as this pretty boy, woot

I'd like to hear your responses to this situation:

Imagine you had an ex-colleague who is undergoing treatment for cancer, and nobody seems to want to be nice to her. So you try to be friendly and before you know it, this person has decided to use you as a kind of emotional vent for all her complaints.

She's nice enough, but also very self-centred, nagging and whiny, with a tendency to victimise herself in any situation. She's also started taking out her crazy angst on you, behaving in a manner that suggests she takes your kindness for granted and she doesn't think very much of you anyway.

You hate to say it because it's not right to say, but she's becoming incredibly offensive. And her pessimism is contagious. You walk away from each encounter feeling slightly depressed and annoyed.

She's under the impression (you don't know where she got the idea) that you're going to hang out with her on a regular basis.

What would you do?

**********

I seem to attract strange people.

Funny thing is, I'm no Mother Teresa - I'm not nice.

I honestly don't know why they keep tagging onto me, all these emotionally clingy people.

I don't have a problem with people who need help, but why do they start getting rude when you help them?

[/rant]

Teddy at his usual spot, playing with my fat feet while I work

Can't wait for the camera to reload and stuff.

Did I tell you Teddy's started doing tumbletots? He lies on his back on the floor and when he wants to get up, he does a funny half-sit-up and rolls forward to his feet.
I don't have seven cats, I have six cats and one chubby Russian acrobat named Tedsky in a little ginger fur vest. Cooool.

CatDonna

Wee.

2007-03-16T01:46:00.000+08:00

I am so mad.

I'd bought dried fish snackies for the cats that they, especially Chocolate, seemed quite keen on.

Night after night I'd leave it in a tupperware container on the kitchen counter; morning after morning I would find it on the floor with teeth-and-claw-marks etched all over the lid.

But no attempt had ever been successful, so I figured the sturdy tupperware was doing its job well.

This morning I left it on the study table and tonight I came back -

- to find it burst open on the floor, fish carcasses everywhere, Chocolate in the middle of it all eating for her life, and all over the room this awful pong.

I'm not sure if the smell is entirely fish or if somecat (I'm looking at you, Chocolate) got too excited and peed in the room. She does that sometimes, the pretentious tabby twit.

I can't find the source, though. Bloody frigging heck.
Argh. So tired. Don't need this nonsense.

Pip's angry too. Her cushioned basket-throne fell off the washing machine onto the floor, and the cats all peed into it. Wondering whether to wash it or throw it away.

Pip's on my lap as I type this, glaring at nothing in particular.

Somecat also peed on Polly's favourite teddy bear and made her pretty sad for a while.
Why are cats so vicious to each other?

You know what, I am getting more and more convinced that there is hidden cat pee in this room.

Doe is sitting by the computer sniffing the air. We all smell it, but nokitty's gonna say where.

Weeee.

CatDonna

Pipperina, Rescue Leader

2007-03-02T20:30:00.000+08:00

Late last night while the woman was asleep, Teddy fell in a slim gap between the kitchen cabinet and the wall. We tried to get him out, but it was like trying to haul a camel through the needle of an eye... I mean walk an eye through the camel of a needle...? Ok whatever thxbyeyowza.

Teddy perches on the kitchen door while I rest on the
Cabinet of Teddy's Disastrous Undoing

We had no choice but to wait for the woman to wake up this morning, and what is it about humans and their weak bodies and their desperate need for at least eight hours' rest? We catnap, short and sweet, and if you disturb our rest one iota, BAM, we're wide awake and giving you the evil eye. (Of a needle.)

"Ooo, washing machine, me likey"

So first we sent in the big guns: Doe and Boonie jumped up on the bed once the alarm went, and Boonie sat on the woman's tummy while Doe gently paw-slapped her face. Problem is, they do this everyday so the woman was unable to sense the extra urgency.

Heroic Doe, bleary-eyed after a fruitless
early morning wake-up call

This left Lucie and me, so we buried the hatchet for about twenty seconds and played cat charades with the woman.

"Dam' ye Pip, 'twas mine idea!"

As usual in the mornings, Lucie stood at the door of the bathroom while the woman brushed her teeth, but this time I was there too. (Nowadays I disdain morning formalities and sleep in the laundry room.) And instead of hissing and screaming at each other as we normally do, Lucie and I merely stared at the woman in a really freaky manner.

How does one remove Chocolate from one's clothing?

To make the point really clear that something was wrong, I refrained from giving my princess commands and quietly followed the woman everywhere she went.

Submissive, moi? The woman started wising up and went into the kitchen/cat room. Chocolate and Polly had done their bit in the litter trays. The trays were filled with bounties of what the woman calls Nervy Kitty Bombs - you see, when cats are nervous or unhappy, our poop changes in colour, texture and most of all, smelllllllll.

P*lly: the generous donor of smelly shits prefers to
remain anonymous

Then the woman started calling for Teddy and heard him crying behind the false back of the kitchen cabinet.

Teddy re-enacts the horror of that dark night

Several frantic dashes around, phone calls made and sixty-five dollars later, the woman got some guy to cut a hole in the back of the cabinet and let Teddy out. The poor thing. He was covered in sawdust and looked like he'd aged overnight. And he'd cried so much all morning his voice was hoarse.

Teddy spent the rest of the day treated like a prince - kept in the study with his own kibble and water, lots of cuddles and love from the woman, and even we were nicer to him.

"It was terrible... terrible"

Us cats were relieved Teddy was freed from his cramped dungeon.
I mean, imagine if he died. The stench. Far better to keep the little omega alive, don't you think?

I was generous with my rewards: no picking fights with the other cats for one afternoon, and I even condescended to sleep on the woman's lap for an hour.
(Don't let her tell you otherwise.)

"Oh, don't... you make me shy... am I as great as you say?"

("Mooore!!!")

Moral of the story: Teamwork, led by a strong and capable leader such as the mine self, can achieve great things.
Although I'm pretty sure I could have done it all by myself. Just that I'm too smart to. Useless pussies need me to boss 'em around!

All Hail The Me!
Princess Pip

ps - The woman wants me to try and not make out everything to be about the mine self. Do I??? Anyway to prove how awesomely humble I am...

Happy endings for all

A Little Less Conversation

2007-02-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

"Awww, why can't we all just get along?"

Currently the husband is stationed in Bar Harbor, Maine. They just missed the snow storm that's been sweeping past the east coast. He's working in a quiet town next to a nature reserve with real wild bears and stuff. He's getting fat and bored.

Our daily online conversations are deep, meaningful and intimate.
Man, I can feel my EQ rising just reading this stuff.
This is pure Cat Soup for the Soul.

**********

[21:42:37] J**** F****** says: I is okay...no more snow here...weather says maybe jut light snow showers for us. yes of course i miss you

[21:42:44] J**** F****** says: lots and lots

[21:42:47] CatDonna says: really miss me

[21:43:05] CatDonna says: hmmm?

[21:43:33] J**** F****** says: ?

[21:43:48] CatDonna says: heheheheee

[21:44:27] J**** F****** says: what you laughing for? i simple boy i not know

[21:44:39] CatDonna says: i want PEPPY

[21:45:05] J**** F****** says: we cannot have I am afraid

[21:45:11] CatDonna says: bah!

[21:45:16] CatDonna says: then u is not miss me enough

[21:47:02] J**** F****** says: that is not true....the 7 kittens will tell you how much I miss you

[21:47:44] CatDonna says: blah!

[21:47:48] CatDonna says: u go for ur training then

[21:47:51] CatDonna says: go away!

[21:47:57] CatDonna says: to think i was so worried i wanted to go over

[21:48:04] CatDonna says: i was gonna fight the bear for u

[21:48:13] J**** F****** says: ;(

[21:48:44] CatDonna says: was gonna patch ur head up after u broke it falling down the snowy hill... like jack and jill

[21:49:09] J**** F****** says: so now you will leave me to bleed to death

[21:49:33] CatDonna says: was gonna cook nice simple healthy food for you, save u from nasty maple syrup cheddar cheese croissants

[21:49:48] CatDonna says: you can GO AND FIGHT THE BEAR YOURSELF

[21:49:54] CatDonna says: PATCH UP YOUR OWN HEAD

[22:03:06] J**** F****** says: love you lots

[22:03:15] CatDonna says: (puke)

[22:03:17] J**** F****** says: and lots...remember i is a shy boy

[22:03:28] CatDonna says: eh how is that relevant

[22:03:28] J**** F****** says: (hug)

[22:03:38] J**** F****** says: well in your blogger

[22:03:44] CatDonna says: hahahahaa tough

[22:03:57] J**** F****** says: (sweat)

[22:04:13] CatDonna says: byeeeeeeeeee

Trouble with Cats

2007-02-22T13:21:00.000+08:00

I like the look on Teddy's face

Click on the pic above for a larger/clearer version.
Lucie (right) looks hilariously chilled out.

**********

First, a kitty horror video:

If any of my cats did that to me I would have a heart attack, I think.

**********

There's this lovely little 3-month-old black boy cat, with a bunny tail and a tiny white spot on his chest, who's up for adoption at my vet's.

His name is Peppy and when you pick him up, he melts into your hands purring away. He's quite vocal too, likes to tell me all about his day.

I want I want I want.

But he's not vaccinated and my cats are a few months overdue on their booster shots ($300 if I send all seven and my income's dropped by two-thirds since I quit, so that's why).

I'm planning to send the monsters for their boosters soon, by March hopefully (a couple cheques will be in by then).

And then... and THEN... if it's meant to be.
PEPPY WILL BE MIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEE

(Just realised that the husband may be reading this, but ah well Mr CatDonna, you can't stop me now, and he's sooo cute.)

**********

A friend of mine was thinking of me and decided to get me a present.

So he stole a newborn ginger kitten from a stray mother who'd whelped in his house, while she was out to look for food.

Then he called me and said, "Surprise!"

What ensued was a few hours of panic attacks and tension headaches for yours truly, in between frantic phone calls and "Put it back! Put it back where you found it RIGHT NOW!" and "Ohmigod is the mother back yet? What, no?!"

Fortunately the mother returned for her baby after three hours (and half an hour before I was to take a deep breath and resign myself to two months' neonatal kitty care aka MILK AND POOP TORTURE FOR ME once more).

With friends like mine, who needs enemies?

**********

Irrelevant but I thought it was cute.
Lucie longs to be free as a tomato.

**********

Greedy Pip's learnt her lesson now.

She stood by the kitchen counter stealing chicken broth while I heated some soup for my dinner.
I'd turned on the stove and she was right next to the flame, but with her head in the bowl, Pip couldn't care less - despite me shoving her butt away several times and yelling at her to scoot.

Then something happened with the stove... I dunno how, but for a moment the flame whooshed outwards a bit, instead of up...

Pip wasn't hurt but a bit frightened by the smell. Of burnt cat hair.
So there's a patch of frizzy browned fur along her right side now, which I'm sure she'll lick off soon enough.
I think she's embarrassed.

i don't wanna talk about it i'm covering my ears see nyah-nyah-NYAAAHHH!!!

But at least it's not as bad as the other time little Polly JUMPED UP THE STOVE while a flame was switched on. The whiskers on the left side of her face were singed and curled up for a month. It looked like a really bad perm.
To her credit, Polly never tried that stunt again.

Polly Pocket, Gangsta Midget: getting into everything (especially trouble) since 2005

And of course. Before I forget:
HAPPY NEW (LUNAR) YEAR!!!

Love lots
CatDonna

Some Valentine Randomness

2007-02-14T10:17:00.000+08:00

"Her husband's t' Aleppo gone,
Master o' the Tiger,
But in a sieve I'll thither sail,
and like a rat without a tail,
I'll do, I'll do, and I'll do."

Yep, the husband is away and will be away for some months.
This is his last nap before boarding the plane to Bar Harbor, Maine, USA.
As usual, them kittens will be damned if they let him rest.

**********

The Ginger Gardener surveys his work

For those of you who remember that at one point I was doing some gardening...
I cultivated tomato and basil.

And very nice too, if I may say so

It's hard work, gardening

**********

Can you feel the love?
Boonie's trying very hard to relax, even crossing his front paws in studied nonchalance.
Pip is tense and murderous. She was actually growling when I took this picture.

Teddy really shouldn't leave the watering can lying around like this.

**********

Lazy afternoon naps for all.
I took this of Polly yesterday but wasn't in time for an unofficial Toesday post.

More toes.
Boonie always looks like he's smiling, the dear boy.

Lounging in the laundry

Pip needs her rest in the day - snuggled in laundry, warm and fresh from the tumble dryer - so she can do stupid noisy things at night like sing songs, pick fights and break plates.

**********

The work is going pretty slow right now.

Sorry for the silence here.
Sometimes the well runs dry, not just for the blog, but the creative projects I'm working on. Bleah.
But things should be looking up soon, I hope.

Back to work!

Oh and happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Love to all,
CatDonna

Love is never having to say "I'm sorry, but you have to move over or I'll fart in your face"

That's What Y'All Call Me, Now

2007-01-30T22:53:00.000+08:00

From my high and cushioned throne on top of the tumble dryer I have this to say...

Quiet over there! I'm making an announcement!

Remember this, kittensss!!!!!

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Excellency Pipperina Princess the Ceaseless of Goosnargh Leering
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

PP
ps - Thanks to Fat Eric for the link.

Tabby Nap

2007-01-30T21:59:00.000+08:00

Chocolate on ruined sofa

What's cuter than one tabby catching her forty (thousand) winks...

Boonie and Lucie on messy bed

... and even cuter than two tabbies napping?

L-R: Boonie, Choc, Lucie (I don't know what Lucie's trying to do there)

Why, three tabbies napping, of course.

CatDonna

ps - Blogger won't let me comment on my own blog. Am seriously beginning to consider a switch to Wordpress.
pps - Pip says hi.

And So The Worm Turns

2007-01-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

Just another day in (gangsta!) Paradise

It started off like any other day. The Gangstas were asleep on the black leather chair - Big Polly Bananaz and her sidekick, Tiny Ted.

Then Teddy must have done I dunno what, farted in Pol's face or something, and got Polly riled. Really riled.
So she got up and beat Teddy around a little bit.

Polly: "Tub o' butter, tub o' lard!
Hit 'em harder, hit 'em hard!"
Teddy: "....."

Polly: "Yaarrr, me mateys! Beached whale ahead!
Here be ye blubber for a Russian winter!!!"
Teddy: "Are you saying... I'm fat?"

You can't really see it in the photo, but Polly is a-kickin' and a-clawin' Teddy's tender tum somethin' terrible.

Then Teddy kind of snapped.
He got up, shoved Polly hard, and put his paw on her to keep her down.
(I'm not making this up, honest.)

Teddy: "That's it! I'm sick of how you always steal my treats* and call me fat! I'm not fat! I'm NOT FAT!!!!!!!"
Polly (frightened now): "Okayokay you're not fat... sheesh, ima only jokin' here, Tubby - I MEAN TEDDY..."

*This is true, by the way.

Teddy: "I'M NOT FAT! DON'T YOU SAY THAT AGAIN! MOMMIE LADIE SEZ I'M BIG-BONED AND HANSOME AND HALF-PERSIAN!"
Polly: "Oh Gawd the paps are takin' photos... I'm so embarrassed. This is not cool..."

You can see Teddy's ears and facial expression are actually pretty angry.
I've never seen him like this.
Polly was quiet for a while. I guess she's realised that even Ted has his limits.

Anyway, that was Teddy's first successfully resolved conflict (ie Ted didn't get the poop beaten out of him for once). I'm so proud of him.
And so the worm turns.
The end.

CatDonna

Sick As A Dog (SAAD)

2007-01-23T11:56:00.000+08:00

Blast From The Past: Kitten Pip and Baby Doe,

exploring the lush foliage that is the husband's toe/foot/leg hair

Yes, very saad.

Some very strange infection hit me over the weekend. It's just starting to blow over. Have been cooped up in the house muchly and not yet gone to the post office *koff*sorrycataunty*ahem*.

Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me.

They don't even want my presents ;)

Stuck at home working on my projects and, with all stuff that is creative by nature, there are bad days and good. Yesterday was tres awful - two miserable pages after eight hours.

Somebody kill me please.

Just got a call asking if I could help out at a college from March to November. I checked my calendar and realised if I said yes, I'm not going to bloody have ANY rest day in the week (not including public holidays and that's assuming I haven't got marking).

(Yes, I work full days on weekends.)

I would love the money - thankfully we're not in need, I just want my own cash to do my own thing - but a lot of things may end up sacrificed/compromised, including my freedom, sanity and the projects I'm currently working on, which are close to my heart and crucial for my move into my next career.

What do you think?

Okay back to writing. I have a temp job starting next week for a fortnight and I want to get this personal project on the ground asap.

CatDonna & Cats

ps - Pip sleeps with me at night nowadays. She curls up under the covers (I dunno how she breathes). Yesterday Boonie and Lucie created a lethal tag team and took turns to pounce on her. Cats are vicious creatures, and I am quite possibly Pip's only friend in the whole wide world.

Eh?????

2007-01-12T13:13:00.000+08:00

Hello one and all,

I didn't realise this is effectively my first post of the year and not the previous one, eh.

No posts recently because:
Been pretty busy and (more than) slightly stressed.
Working on new ideas and projects that require an entirely different set of skills is pretty daunting.
Even if it's what I've always wanted.

Anywayyyyyy.....
Where are my prize-winners?!?!?!
I've just checked my mail and NO-ONE, absolutely NO-ONE, loves and trusts me enough to e-mail their mailing address?!?!?!?!
I've only got cat_aunty's, and that was because she sent me a lovely gift and card for Christmas. Heh heh heh!

Haven't had the time to read the other cat blogs, soooo...
This is an APPEAL, prize-winners please, PLEASE, let me have your addie so I can mail you the happy goods, you won a prize YOU KNOW, don't act coy about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right. If I don't get addies by end this week, I'll harass you online incessantly... wait... that sounds like a very good reason why nobody wants to give me their addies in the first place... so... umm.
Look, I promise I'm not gonna harass you ok?!?!?!
Too busy right now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Have to run, lots of love.
The cats are being demons as usual. The headlines:

Recalcitrant Choc pees on bed again
Polly increasingly violent and unpredictable; an escalation in kitty gang war predicted
Studies on Teddy show possible link between bullying and stupidity
Lucie: The New Face of Terror?
Doe paws faces of sleeping humans, convicted for attempted molest and harassment
Boonie: "Chocolate and I are only very good friends"
Pip fulfils ancient prophecies of Armageddon, Anti-Christ
CatDonna on Surviving Over-Excited Tuxedo Cats Biting Down HARD on Your Tummy

Bye!

CatDonna

Happy New Year! + Contest Results

2006-12-31T22:31:00.000+08:00

What, already?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

**********

Hokay, contest results!

Every participant gets a prize. Ho ho ho!

Because sometimes everyone wins, baby.

Guess my name!

cat_aunty: you win the BULLSEYE AWARD for the closest answer
lambj: you win the SNEAKY KITTY AWARD for attempting to flatter/bribe a member of our household into giving hints (sorry, but with Pip, only Tuna Talks!)
auntie p: you win the CONSPIRACY THEORIST AWARD for the most suggestions (did you do research?), and the suspicion that Lucie's real name doesn't even start with L
KMM: you win the CHEEKY INNUENDO AWARD for making me giggle at the thought of naming a cat Pookie. I am positive you know what you were typing! Although I think the name Spooky Pookie* is a better term for Britney Spears nowadays ;)
kxbc: you win the CLEVER CAT AWARD for your complex (read: cheem) suggestions (you overestimate me, I'm not that clever). Lucie is only Lucid to me when I've had a couple too many tequilas
san: you win the SPECTACLE MAN NICKNAME AWARD for correctly guessing what the Husband occasionally calls Lucie (which is Goosie, btw)

THE ANSWER IS:

* Pookie: An adorable name, except it sounds very much like the Malay term for, umm, ladyparts... Brit Brit's bit-bits, ya know?

All winners please mail me at saraelkelly at gmail dot com with your mailing addresses and the prizes will arrive in due time!

**********

Lucie (L) and Boonie (R)

Lucie and Boonie were born to a beautiful stray in Purvis Street (known for its popular restaurants) around 14-15 October 2005, abandoned by said beautiful stray during a botched rescue attempt, and taken into the House of CatDonna on 17 October.

Boonie Purvis Blackbear was named after Boomie Bunnie, CatDonna's fifth rescue rabbit who shared a special bond with her (Pip's predecessor, if you will), and was frightened to death in an ambush by a three-week-old Pipperina Princess. Ladies and gents, look to the right at the profile pic - that's Pip at three weeks, and that is the smiling face of a killer.

Speaking of killers...

Pretty, pretty Lucie...

Who would have known?

Lucifer Purvis Luckystar had, besides Boonie, two other siblings: a brother and sister. The unnamed sister succumbed to Fading Kitten Syndrome after about 3 days, but suffice to say she was an exact copy of Lucie, except stripier.

As much as possible I don't name rescued newborns, because it's risky and possibly heartbreaking. But this time, somehow, I made the mistake of naming the other brother.

You see, it seemed so obvious at the time that Sunny Honeybear was going to make it.

Week-old Sunny (R) with Boonie (L), just before Lucie did him in

Sunny was a handsome striped ginger tabby, with a long tail that was slightly kinked at the tip. He was the alpha kitten of the lot, the biggest, strongest and cleverest. If he'd survived, he would easily be larger than Boonie (and B's already quite the hefty boy).

Taken on the day two-week-old Sunny died

Close-up: Sunny was about the length of my palm

To cut a long story short, Lucie suckled Sunny's penis and caused an open abrasion, resulting in a blood infection that killed him in about five days.

Sunny was about eight or ten days old when it happened - too young for strong antibiotics or surgery - and I basically watched him die.

Hence Lucifer.

Sunny had bonded to me closer than Lucie at that young age, and I remember looking at little Lucie after coming home from Sunny's euthanasia and thinking angrily, It should've been you... maybe I should just let you starve.

A devil in disguise...

The devil's in her eyes

But I didn't and well, here we are today.

Lucie's such a sweet thing. Sigh.

Man, what a stupid story to end the year with - okay, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Heh heh heh :) :) :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With much love from the House of

CatDonna and Cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A pic of Pip to keep the fans happy. Happy New Year!

Where I wanna be for Christmas...

2006-12-23T15:24:00.000+08:00

++Update: Check out my doll on the right! It's a rough anime ie japanese comic approximation of how CatDonna looks (new haircut, always in jeans, evil-looking tuxedo feline companion I wonder who???).

Roll cursor over the pic if you're interested - it links to the site.

/Update++

...is Namja Town!

Ho ho ho yeah!

Will be busy this weekend prepping for the annual family barbecue. I'm in charge of the side dishes (ie the carbs, yum) and I might want to make some dessert too.

Better get cracking.

So in case I don't get back here until after Christmas, here's a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!!!

++++++++++

AND AND AND!!!!!!!!

The first anniversary of CatDonna's Cats is coming up on 29 December.
I'm holding a little contest! With prizes! Yep you read this right!
Just make a guess:

Asleep with giant teddy bear

This is Lucie Luckystar, the adorable and highly photogenic sister of Boonie "Peed His Pants" Blackbear, and a sworn enemy of the Pipperina Princess.

I've never told readers her real name, though, and I only yell it at her once in a while when she's being naughty.

What's Lucie's real name?
(Hint: It sounds like Lucie.)*

Leave a comment with your guess/es (as many as you want, there's no limit) and the results will be announced on 29 December.
Don't worry, even if no one gets the answer, there definitely will be winners and special mentions.
Life's not just about being correct... be creative!
Have fun!

CatDonna

* I do realise this is probably the great-grandmother of all useless hints. Sorry.

You know she's lovin' it when...

2006-12-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

... Polly takes a big chunk of fish from my dinner plate, scoffs it down quick as only she can, looks around furtively, then vomits it all up on my suede bag and proceeds to enjoy it slowly the second time round.

A Letter to the AVA

2006-12-15T20:07:00.000+08:00

Attn: AVA Singapore

Dear Sir or Madam,

Cat Abuser-cum-Blogger, kuro.shiro.neko

I refer to the above evil cat lady and a recent post on her infamous blog of kitty perversion.

In the post, she proudly shows off a new "acquisition" - a "black cat" called "Shadow".
(Yes, I really like to use "open inverted commas".)

Sir or Madam, I have sufficient circumstantial evidence to believe that "Shadow" the "black cat" is really not a "black cat".
For a long time, she has made her ravenous lust for black cats very clear to everyone. Even her blog title, kuro.shiro.neko, means "Black White Cat" in Japanese.

ksn and I have had a longstanding rivalry. We both have desired black cats (although my desires are immaculately pure compared to hers) and I believe that, in order to spite me, ksn:

- Catnapped a dirty white street cat

- Spray-painted him black

- And when he ran after her in utter humiliation, begging for the paint to be removed, she cruelly mocked him by naming him Shadow

In a gesture of defiance, ksn deliberately put down her modus operandi as the title of her blog, to brag about the depths of her callous actions.

Dear Sir or Madam, when ksn is around, the black cats are not really black.

**********
I wish to provide some background information, Sir or Madam, on the nefarious kuro.shiro.neko (alias ksn although her underworld colleagues affectionately call her kns).

Her blog is notorious for its photographic and video depictions of pussycat p0rn. Her latest p0rnographic post featured an incestuous kitty threesome forced to lick each other to the soundtrack of Jewel In The Palace.
I suspect some torture must have been implemented to make the poor cats submit to her twisted fantasies.

I also suspect that this is how she earns income on the side: selling her kitties' humiliating orgies to fetish p0rn markets in China, Korea and Japan. (You know how big Dae Jang Geum is over there. Heck, my husband is Welsh and he loves it too.)
Her flimsy alibis for how she earns an extra bit of cash are lies, all lies.

Finally, I wish to inform you that another two Singapore cat bloggers have mysteriously stopped blogging after they mistakenly revealed that they once fostered black cats. I fear that ksn, driven insane by irrational jealousy, may have done something to them.

**********

For your information, I am now going to contact the Internal Security Department (ISD) to enquire if they have witness/whistleblower protection programmes.

ksn is a hardened criminal to be feared. She's even getting a tattoo, so you know she must be some bigshot gangster.

Earlier tonight, when I informed her of my righteous intentions to expose her dark deeds to the AVA, ksn replied by sms: "I dun expect anything less frm u, pip's mum!!" I think she is threatening me - she expects me to expose her, and she will take revenge. Not only on me, but on my cat Pip.

Because Pip is a real tuxedo cat - a true kuro.shiro.neko - and ksn goes insane whenever she sees tuxedo cats, you see. To her, all cats must be totally black or white, preferably black.

Thank you for your time. I am now going to book an appointment for extensive plastic surgery for myself and Pip. With ksn, one thing is sure: take no chances.

Best regards, CatDonna

Caffeine

2006-12-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

Polly (L) and Teddy (R) doing their small-time gangsta act, but Polly forgot to squint

Finally finished a first official version of my work assignment.

Dunno when meeting the reviewer, was supposed to be today but there is a chance will be postponed.

Drank two cups of Diet Coke at 9 pm last night to get me through and I can say, WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY (woohoo), that the caffeine is still running through my veins.

Slept at... 6:45 am? The sun was rising.
Woke up at 9 something am.
Am exhausted yet. Very very awake.

Today is a long and busy day.
Tomorrow there's this interview thing that I had better NOT oversleep for.

I leave you with this photo, which is not an optical illusion: Polly is slightly behind Teddy but that doesn't account for the obvious size difference. Like a furry, cranky little David and a floofy, clumsy Goliath. Love it.

Convincing gangsta squints all round, this time

Going to try and nap a bit before I start the day.
The operative word here being try.
The caffeine is messing up my gastric too, so I keep thinking I'm getting the runs.

Admit it, CatDonna.
You're a caffeine wuss.

It's Confession Time!

2006-12-11T14:24:00.000+08:00

Confession #1
Fine. I admit I only did the test because they had pretty cat pictures on it.
So embarrassing.

And I deliberately did the test a few times, tweaking the results each time, so I could see the different cat pictures. *blush*

Anyway, this is the result that came up twice when I did it for real, so I'm assuming it's the closest to a reliable reading?
Assuming these things are even reliable, which I don't think so.

Give me a Myers-Briggs anytime.

**********

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

**********

Confession #2
I'm on the computer producing multiple posts when I'm actually supposed to be working on an urgent, major writing assignment that I'm only halfway through, and the external review of which is due on Thursday.

Sigh. Back to work.

CatDonna

Ten Things I Will Never Do

2006-12-11T12:37:00.000+08:00

An overdue meme from PC Southwest. Here we go.

Ten things I will never do:

1. Lose so much weight that people will tell me, "You're too skinny".
Although I suspect this is more an issue of Can't, not Won't.

2. Not help animals in need.
Although to be honest, I still have trouble with vegetarian commitments; I do try but nothing's been successful. Veggers, feel free to stage peaceful demonstrations outside my door, burning turnip effigies of myself and chanting FLESH-EATING ANIMAL-LOVING HYPOCRITE.

3. Not help people who need it.
Yup. I'm a softie, you're a softie, everyone's a softie.

4. Play favourites with my cats.
As much as possible I love all my pets equally. However, that principle is often problematic considering how most of my cats are pretty harmless, but a couple of them can be quite the hellcat *ahem*PipandDoe*koff*.

5. Give up shopping.
It's a woman thing. Lalala!

6. Let sleeping cats lie.
I can't. I start cuddling them and taking pictures. So they take revenge by sleeping on my bed at night and keeping me awake.

7. Follow the rules.
Again, this isn't so much a matter of Won't as Can't. I don't actively try to be nonconformist, but it just seems to come naturally to me. I question things a lot. So I do get in trouble quite a bit.

8. Eat dark chocolate as is.
Had a bad experience some years back with a family-sized bar of dark choc, some greasy chips and a jerky 15-kilometre taxi ride that resulted in me projectile-vomiting when I reached home. I still shudder at the memory.

9. Suffer fools gladly.
By "fool" I don't actually refer to people who are ignorant and/or silly, because we're all like that sometimes. I'm talking about people who are cowardly, dishonest and irresponsible, and who end up hurting other people in the process. I've frequently stood up for friends who were hurt by such people, earning for myself the (IMHO) thoroughly undeserved reputation of VIP (Vicious and Intimidating Person). Very Pip-like, I agree.

10. Turn down an offer of food.
Refer to Number 1. It's lunchtime, off I go.

I open this meme to all my happy fellow bloggers and readers. Feel free to participate and don't get all guilty if you can't! It's the festive season now and I know many of us are busy tying up loose ends for the year.

So, if you're interested in doing this meme, just do it and leave a comment here to let us know.

Hungry hungry hungry. Cheers!
CatDonna

Even Top Cats Get the Monday Blues

2006-12-11T11:19:00.000+08:00

Gee...

Oh, the Monday blues

I'm bored.
It's no fun supervising the humans as they work.

Hmmm. What to do? What to do?

Off I go to find trouble, I mean, some work worthy of my Top Cat title...

Aha!
Dumb ginger fatty ahead!

"Uhh... sir good morning sir"

It's Teddy, come to work in his nice new white lace bow-tie.
I know. Let's intimidate him.

Doe: Take off your bow-tie! No subordinate is allowed to look cuter than their boss!
Teddy: Sir yes sir!

That's right... don't move a muscle or I'll SWAT you...

Doe: And why did you submit your report 3 days before the deadline? I wanted it one week before!!!
Teddy: Sir I apologise sir!

Doe: Hmph! Alright, I'm in a good mood so I'll let you off this once. Report for litter-tray duty everyday this month, and I'll forget this incident happened.
Teddy: *euphoric with relief* Oh sir thank you sir!

Haha!
That's enough work for today.
I need a rest. On the nice human bed of course.

A top bed for the top cat

What a productive day I've had. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Now, where do I place my order for tuna sashimi and catnip tea?

Yours Faithfully
Mr Doe
CEO (Cats' Executive Officer)
CatDonna & Cats Pte Ltd

Kitty Kitty Kitty Cat!

2006-12-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

Not the best resolution, but it's a very sweet video. Enjoy!

Chocolate TRAAAMP!!!!! ++Updated: And DRAMA QUEEEEN!!!!!++

2006-12-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

++Update: The vet is positive he didn't leave any uterine tissue behind during the spay. The diagnosis for now is an "uncommon hormonal imbalance leading to false pregnancy". Unfortunately, (the vet says) depending on the cat, this could happen again.

Hormonal imbalance! False pregnancy!
So Choc's not just a Tramp, she's a Drama Queen!

Dang it Choc, I don't care if you think you're pregnant JUST STOP PEEING ON MY BED!!!

/Update++

Oh yeah baby, scratch my neck some more

Chocolate's living it up!

She's getting it on with anything that moves.
Even our feet aren't spared.

For the dear people out there trying to cheer me up by suggesting that maybe Choc's just in a very good mood, I present photographic evidence (rated M-18) that The Lady Is A Tramp:

The mating stance: thankfully Teddy didn't (and couldn't) get the hint

Am taking Choc to the vet later today (it's 2:40 am here as I type and I wish to thank my insomnia for everything), and to be honest I am dreading the appointment. As I see it, my options are pretty much limited to getting Choc checked up and possibly re-spayed. It's traumatic for her, money wasted for me, and trouble for everyone.

And if the vet insists that I pay the full price for re-spaying, I'd rather take my cat and my custom somewhere else.

Feel the Tabby Love

Oh Boonie. Poor corrupted little soul.

The scandal, the scandal

Tut tut

And when she's not flirting with the boys, she's scheming with the girls.

Polly: Whaddaya mean, schemin'? what wif da paparazzi, man? Lissen dawg, I knows mah rights! Ima callin' mah lawyer 'bout dis yo!
Choc: *Mrrrowr*...

Choc: ...and this is how you seduce the camera.
Polly: Lordy, Choklit. You's a tramp fo' realz yo.

Right, it's 3 am. Off to bed I go.

CatDonna

Reheated Chocolate

2006-12-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

Chocolate came into heat yesterday: the yowling, the rolling around on the carpet, the TERRITORIAL MARKING ON OUR CRISP NEW BEDLINEN.

Now all this would make sense except that Chocolate was spayed seven months ago.

I've left messages with the vet, but he's closed on Mondays (which is today) so I can't get to him till tomorrow.

Does anyone have advice or experience with this? I called SP and she's never had this problem before.

Good Lord. Why do I always end up with the freaky cats.

CatDonna
ps - Pip cuddled me virtually all day yesterday. She seemed to know I was a bit *bleah*. The dear beast is very sweet sometimes.

Roadkill / Sometimes Cats Are Stupid

2006-12-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

++Update: Just returned from trolling. Is it just me, or is the cat blogosphere pretty dark nowadays? Many not good things are happening, both with cats as well as people. Take care, everyone.
/Update++

CatDonna is not feeling very well right now, so I'm taking over.

CatDonna just saw a fatal road accident on a busy, three-lane (major) road (speed limit 60 km/h) involving a young grey tabby cat (6-8 months) and a car.

The cat shot out from nowhere, ran past about one metre from our car in the right lane, got hit by the car in the middle lane, and was probably dead by the time the car in the left lane smashed its guts over the tarmac.

In a desperate and (IMHO) crazy stupid attempt to save the cat, CatDonna ignored her husband's advice and ran out the car towards the cat while Husband was making a left turn. But she was far too late, and she knew it.

DISCLAIMER:
CATDONNA DOES NOT CONDONE UNSAFE ROAD BEHAVIOUR.
It is dangerous to run across the road or to get out of a moving vehicle.

CatDonna's really not feeling very well right now.

I wrote this to let you know.

She says the posts will still come, just not tonight at least.

Bye. I need to go cheer her up.

Pipperina Princess

Blogger, You Kill Me

2006-12-02T00:14:00.000+08:00

Polly (L) and Chocolate (R).
Add up the annoyance on both their faces, multiply it by a thousand, and you get a rough idea of how I feel about Blogger right now.

Yesterday I was posting something... lotsa scandalous kitty pix and the ten things I've been tagged for...

Then bloody Blogger hung on me and lost my post.

LOST. MY POST. MY HARD WORK OF ONE AND A HALF HOURS.
GIVE ME BACK ONE POINT FIVE HOURS OF MY LIFE, GAAAAAAAAHHHH.

Sorry PC (A certain part of the UK that cannot be revealed for fear of incurring the Arbitrary and Most Alarming Wrath of Management).
And PC stands for Personal Computer. I swear.

**********

I just put this pic in for fun: Lucie in a box.
Question is, why?

Then today I was rushing about as usual and to top it off, went swimming.
I did forty laps.
Am trying to reach a consistent fifty laps per session by the end of this month.
*preens*

Interestingly (to me, not to you, but this is my blog nyah nyah nyah), I took about 1 hour 25 minutes... slightly less than one and a half hours...
Maybe there's like some cosmic connection with the time lost yesterday spent swimming today.

Yeah right.

Or maybe I'm just sitting here typing nonsense, exhausted after a long day, absolutely FREAKING OUT at the thought of having to redo a perfectly fine, long post.

I. Shall. Procrastinate.
It's All. Blogger's. Fault.
Off to bed. Will redo the lost post, soon.

Good night, and good luck

CatDonna

Mysteries Revealed! (And Pics Ahead!)

2006-11-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

For years I'd wondered about the cats in my neighbourhood. Wondered who fed them. Why weren't they sterilised yet. Whom did they trust (they would pointedly snub my attempts at feeding them - not surprising as they looked very well fed).

Then I found out, quite by accident in fact. This area has two feeders.
Now, to approach them for TNRM.

**********

It's furrybelly time!

Boonie Belly

And all's right with the world

Typical Boonie pose

Boonie is growing by the day. He's quite umm, round now.
Much as we think he's adorable, we're trying to get him to exercise more.

Choc: "I'm quite concerned for Boonie. He's so fat..."

"... I mean, my tummy rolls don't spill over my feet when I sit to the side!"

On the other hand, isn't it strange how Pip eats like a horse but never seems to get fat. I wish I was like that.

In her dreams, Pip is flyyyyyying

One more of Pip cuddling her lil' stuffed lion

Contortionist Act #867

As I told the husband the other day, "I want Pip's physique but I seem to be stuck with Teddy's".
The ever-comforting husband shot back, "At least you're not a Boonie!"
Need to lose weight! Christmas coming. Turkey stuffing barbecue sweetcorn pasta roastbeef rackoflamb honeybakedham potatogratin pumpkinpie lemonmeringue doublechocchipfudgecookie iwant.iwant.iwant.

Anyone else feeling festive yet?

CatDonna

Announcement: CatDonna is Catty

2006-11-21T14:16:00.000+08:00

++Update: Wrote this in a bit of a rush. Have just returned to the blog to brush this post up.

Actually this post is only meant for the fakes, spammers and opportunists, not my wonderful, real and regular readers, for whom I shall post lovely lovely pics soon! Love you all! /Update++

Just a quick note to say that while I accept and welcome comments on this blog, I can and will delete comments that fulfil the following criteria:

- Spam
- Irrelevant agenda
- Links to commercial websites

Let me explain.

Irrelevant Agenda
A few months ago I received a "comment" that wasn't really a comment, but went something like this (a rough paraphrase):

"Hi I like your blog so I just wanna say I'm going to enter a hopscotch competition to raise funds for my friend who has some terrible disease and I'm such a nice person and obviously a good friend so please support me and I'm sure you won't mind me imposing so rudely on your blog, which is about CATS and has nothing to do with what I'm writing here BYEEEEEE!"

I ignored it entirely. I noticed some other cat blogs took up the commenter's cause.
I have no doubt that it is possibly genuine and well-meant.
Let me make this clear: I have nothing against the young lady.

What I'm pissed with is not the message, but the method.

If you have something you want to share, there are far better ways to go about it than leaving comments. Don't be stupid. Leave me a mail or something. It's not impossible. I could even post about it for you, and wouldn't that be much better publicity?

I mean, whatever happened to asking for permission?
Whatever happened to basic courtesy?
Ease and Accessibility over the Internet does NOT mean you can leave your manners at the door.

**********
Commercial Interests
I recently received another comment that linked to a blog with, surprise surprise, commercial interests.

I clicked onto his link and immediately got a privacy alert from, oh let's just give this Hallmark-wannabe greeting-merchandise company a name shall we, 123Greetings Dot Com.
His blog was chock-full of e-cards and stuff that like you can click on and send, and earn this guy some revenue in the process.

I don't know whether this blog is for real or not, but what I do know is that his comment wasn't a real comment to me. It was a clear set-up for a commercial link to earn some stranger a bit of money: "Heyilikeyourblog... HERE'S MIIIIINE".
I also have my doubts about the authenticity of the writing on the blog (remember I am a trained General Paper tutor), but I haven't got the concrete evidence so I'll leave it at that.

I have deleted the comment.

I don't take sh*t from anyone who thinks they can make use of this blog - WITHOUT MY PERMISSION - and get away with it.
"Jennifer", "Justin" and anyone else with similar intent reading this, consider this a friendly warning.

**********

CatDonna loves all her cats, and all cats in general, but she identifies best with Pip.
Now you know why.

Pics coming up shortly.
Lotsa love
CatDonna

I Like!!!

2006-11-20T10:28:00.001+08:00

++Update: As much as I could, I've replied to comments in previous posts. Sorry for the lag, and thank you for your comments. I do enjoy reading them, even when I can't always have the time to respond! /Update++

Yeah, kittens

An old video that I thought I'd put up, just because it's so gosh darn cute -
a remake of "The Joker" by FatBoy Slim.

I had a nice weekend running around doing my stuff and not having to think about dogs and toilet training.

Even the cats are happier.

The Adopter called back a couple of times to update me on Duckie, and she's doing well, bonding with the Adopter and being liked by everyone in the family. So all is well.

This week I need to catch up with the projects that I'd set aside earlier to deal with the Duckie invasion. So it's back to the grind.

CatDonna

Bye Bye Duckie: The Nitty Gritty

2006-11-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

Her mail came in yesterday. It was open and honest, sharing details about her life that were very helpful in helping me gauge her suitability as an adopter.

Her mail gave me good vibes.

She left a contact number. I called yesterday evening and again this morning - her phone was switched off. *mutter mutter*
But she called back when I e-mailed her with my contact number [ie. a polite way of letting her know that "I called but you didn't pick up so my backside is covered, thank you very much"].
Turns out her little 2-year-old daughter was playing with her phone and hid her SIM card. [!!!]

I was out gardening with Duckie by my side when my mobile rang.
Went into my usual "Are you sure you can handle this animal" spiel.

Adopter: I live in a flat with one paper-trained shih tzu.
CatDonna: Duckie's not toilet-trained you know.
Adopter: No problem, I can paper-train her in about a month or two. It just takes time and patience.
CatDonna: Whoa... wokay.

There are pet "lovers" out there who get rid of their puppies when they don't pick up litter-training skills in a week.

Adopter: ... So what do you feed Duckie?
CatDonna [takes deep breath]: Avoderm -
Adopter: Oh the lamb and rice formula? I used to feed my April that, but she got bored with it, then I switched to Solid Gold [Note: Even More Expensive than Avoderm] but she didn't want it after a while. And ever since my other dog died and April went into mourning*, I cook her chicken thighs everyday. She's lost her appetite and she's pining for her friend. I know it's not the best but I'll feed her anything so long as she doesn't starve. Hopefully with the new dog I can get her to eat Avoderm again.**

* The main reason why the Adopter wanted Duckie: as a companion for her bereaved 8-month-old shih tzu [the other one died last month at 15 years of age].
** At least I can rest easy knowing Duckie will be well fed.

CatDonna: ...Okay, so now we'll set up a time for your dog and Duckie to meet, and then we'll decide...
Adopter: If it's alright with you I want to come over now. I'll bring my dog and the adoption fee. Will arrive in thirty minutes, thanks byeeeee!

She arrived in twenty.
April in carrier, two toddlers in tow.

Adopter: I love Duckie! So can I take her home now?
CatDonna: Umm are you sure? She's still on meds, I could finish the course for you...
Adopter: No no, I'll do it. Thank you so much!

I gave her a lift back to her place [turns out we're quite near each other]. And she kept thanking me all the way there. As if I did her a favour, not the other way around.
I also found out that she used to volunteer in dog rescue and rehoming before she had her babies. And that she was planning to return to that once her younger child goes to school.

Time will tell if she's as great as she appears, but the signs are promising.
Good adopters - not very common but when they do pop up, they are precious. Bless.

And Teddy can rest safely now in the knowledge that he will no longer be the persistent target of Duckie's doggy butt-rape.

CatDonna
ps - I want to thank all the people who helped out with their encouragement and advice during this short time.
Thx fellow cat bloggers for your support!
Thanks also to Mary who shared her experiences.
And to the anonymous commenter who suggested Doggiesite and PetChannel - you helped make this adoption possible [the Adopter found my ad on PetChannel]. Thanks again!

Bye Bye Duckie!!!!!

2006-11-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

Duckie's gone. Adopted by a lovely housewife with two children and one shih tzu.

The House of CatDonna slowly returns to normal [until the next rescue].

The house is very quiet without Duckie.

More updates later. Hosting a dinner party tonight at 8 pm sharp; it's almost 5 and I haven't even started prepping.

I Can't Access the ASD Website

2006-11-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

I can't access the ASD website WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYY

AGH AGH AGH AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH

*Stabs self with sharpened tissue paper box*

However. I've posted on the Pets Dot Com Dot SG forum thingy.
Now preparing hard copies for pet shops and vet clinics.
Will try again later with A-flippin'-S-bloody-D.
WTFH. First their worker is incredibly rude when I call, now even their website flips me off...
*mutter darkly under breath*

Fingers and toes crossed. Let's see how this goes.

CatDonna

The Brat Pack

2006-11-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

Is she gone yet?

Duckie's trying to integrate into her new pack of two humans and seven cats.

So she started by humping Teddy.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Life's tough when you're an omega.

The shame, the shame

**********

The humans are tired, the cats are stressed, only the dog is happy.

La la la! I'm so happy! La la la!
Wee on the carpet! Woo hoo hoo!!!

Off I go to prepare the adoption notices.

CatDonna

Love you too, Pip

2006-11-12T01:40:00.000+08:00

Me and my homie*

*[Yes, I'm afraid it's time for "Ugly Yet Comforting Nighties of Pip's Kittenhood" again. A brief explanation here.]

It is only fair that I post this so as to balance out public perception of the Pipperina Princess, the House of Catdonna's resident enfant terrible.

I'm not denying she's frequently an awful scourge and no good to both man and beast, but Pip is also the first hand-raised rescue cat that I've decided to keep because we shared an uncommonly strong bond from the start.

Mmm, nightie

Pip is incredibly, obsessively attached to me for some reason. She's always been very sensitive to my emotional vibes, and she responds to them in a way that I can only call protective.

***********

Duckie was driving me up the bloody wall. Still not toilet-trained and I'd just realised that her pee really stains the parquet floor.

At last I gave up - running after a small, skittish dog all afternoon with a mop-and-bucket and a large litter tray destroys your soul - and locked her in her cage.

Engrossed in suckling, Pip ignores a curious Choc

I desperately needed a short break. I've had a lot of things on my mind recently and several work-related projects I want to start soon, and the stress of all that plus a noisy poodle with a gross skin infection and no toilet sense was pushing me to breaking point.

I turned from a shrill, squealing Duckie and stumbled towards my bedroom, to take a deep breath and think twice before doing something drastic.
Along the way I passed by Pip, sitting quietly on the floor, watching.
She looked at me. I looked at her.
At that moment, I had a feeling she knew.
And she was going to do something about it.

Damn right I'm gonna do something about it

She ran past me towards the cage. I decided not to turn around.
The next thing I heard was Pip's characteristic snarl.
The clang of cat claws striking cage bars.
And Duckie was frightened into silence for a while.

I like to think that Pip gave me the break I needed.
Maybe I read too much into that little incident, but still.

**********

No-one is allowed to annoy the woman except me, punk

Pip, you're a freak and quite the pain at times, but one thing I know for certain is the fierceness of your feelings for me.
I would almost call it loyalty, but you wouldn't want to be associated with dog-like qualities.
Love you too, little monster.

CatDonna

100th Post

2006-11-11T02:04:00.000+08:00

++Update: First Potential Adopter [PA] has to back out as Mother has put her foot down. Second PA coming over to view Duckie tomorrow - wish us luck.

In case you get the impression that I'm thinking of keeping Duckie, the answer is no. She's sweet, but we don't click. I've never been very good with most small dogs; something about their personalities doesn't quite gel with me. /Update++

A perpetual flurry of doggy activity

Duckie:

Looks and smells much better now. The medicine and special shampoo are working well. Although there still is enough dirt engrained into her skin to convince me that her previous owners didn't care about her health and hygiene.

Is quiet. I've only heard her actually bark once. There goes the yappy assertive poodle stereotype out the window.

Is extremely affectionate. She loves to be near us as much as possible [excepting very brief explorations of the house]. She loves being touched, and hearing our voices. When she wants cuddles, Duckie nudges my shin and gently nuzzles my ankles before curling up on my feet.

Yes?

Eats takeaway, and likes company for meals. She brings her biscuits over from the bowl in her cage, three at a time in her mouth, into the study where we usually are - then she puts them down on the floor near us and eats them up.

Still isn't toilet-trained. I'm working on it. In between mopping up her "accidents", I lined a large litter box with newspaper for Duckie. She thought I made her a bed and lay in it.

Is friendly and respectful with cats. Unfortunately, the cats in question do not return the favour.

Quite photogenic when she's not doing those frantic skipping dances

Is a stubborn bitch. She will do anything - run away, dance around, wriggle, whine, sulk - to delay the inevitable medication administered twice a day.

Is a good actress. When fed her pills, she pretends to swallow hard and then looks martyr-like. Upon her release, the cheeky sparkle returns to her eyes and she spits them out before dancing away.

Is fast asleep in her cage. It's been a productive evening for her - cuddling with the humans, eating takeaway, making friends with the furry hissing things, playacting with medication, dancing gleefully around the woman [who's mopping up her latest "accident"] with a big goofy infectious grin that says OMG this is too cool, making the woman clean up after me is like the FUNNEST thing ever, yeah yeah yeah I am sooo psyched, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Side profile: still pretty, despite the ravages of neglect and abandonment

Is the subject of the 100th post on a cat blog. Unbelievable, and only on CatDonna's Cats.

CatDonna & Cats

Duckie Update

2006-11-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

++The latest [8:00 pm]: Potential Adopter [PA] has run into obstacles. PA's Mother has become apprehensive about possible new arrival. I've told them to relax, talk about it and come check Duckie out before making a decision as a family. No point if one family member backs out halfway, especially when that person will be the main caretaker while the adopter is out at work [which is the scenario with PA].++

Happy camper (do you know how long it took to get a decent pic?!)

She's not too frazzled anymore, and less insecure - she doesn't cry so much now as she did yesterday. She still hates being in the cage or in any enclosed space, and will whine softly until she's let out. [For a poodle, she's VERY quiet though.]

Duckie loves hanging out with us, even if it's just chewing on her new "My Little Princess" [I kid you not, that's what it's called] Nylabone while we do stuff on computers in the study.

I don't think she's been toilet-trained.

A typical pic of Can't-Sit-Still Duckie

She's started bonding with us. Very people-oriented, poodles. When she sees us, she runs up and does this little jumpy-poodle dance on her little hind feet, smacking our knees with her front paws. Like some happy high-five Oktoberfest beer dance. Except nobody's drunk, and Oktoberfest was last month, baby.

Most of the cats snoop around to avoid Duckie. Polly even checks the laundry basket to make sure Duckie's not hiding in there for an ambush. Lucie, Boonie and Chocolate have stayed put on top of the fridge/various cabinets since yesterday. Teddy's just disappeared, coming out once a while to stare at Duckie with vague, benign bewilderment in his eyes. At a very safe distance, and usually behind an obstacle of some sort.

Pip and Doe make occasional guest appearances to growl, hiss and swipe at Duckie - to show the newcomer where she stands, I guess. Still, I have no doubt that they're shaken too. Doe came into bed this morning to sleep under the covers, something he's never done before. And Pip's regressed into very young kittenhood, suckling and whining, not purring, into my nightie.

Duckie wants to make new friends...

... but Pip keeps her distance

There is a potential adopter coming to see Duckie this evening so fingers crossed.

DogDonna

Duckie and the Curse of the Persian Carpet

2006-11-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

Re-named the poodle Duckie. Daisy doesn't fit her.

The cats are seriously spooked. Everyone's tense and hiding. Doe smacked Duckie's face around a couple times. Duckie's gotta go. Foster. Must find. Where under which rock pls advise okthx.

**********

Then after 5 hours of holding it in, Duckie jumped out her cage, ignored my meticulously arranged litter box, and peed all over the Persian carpet.

Why. Why. WHY.

Sigh. Foster for Daisy, Anyone?!

2006-11-09T11:34:00.000+08:00

++Update:

Called ASD - no available fosters.
Called SPCA - no lost dog reported.
Called rescue/foster contacts - all gave me a WIDE berth when they found out why I was calling.

Sigh.

/Update++

One thing I've learnt in life is this:

Respect your gut instincts.

For the past few days I'd a funny premonition that something was going to happen.
I thought the weird feeling meant I might be coming across another cat or kitten in need of rescue. In my typical cheeky manner, I even thought to myself that If I'm gonna hafta rescue another cat, at least let it be black with a full straight tail! And I'll call it Modie Midnight!
[Flippant, that's me.]

And I did also think to myself, Jokes aside CatDonna, you can't take in any more, you're gonna need a foster.

This morning I rescued another animal, proving my gut feel was right.
Not a cat, but a middle-aged miniature poodle bitch.
[At least I think she's purebred; if she's a cross, the other part of her genetic makeup isn't very visible at all.]

Here's Daisy

The vet declared her to be in good health. Also, she's got a lovely temperament: friendly and well-behaved - she's quiet, affectionate and cooperative [bathing and medicating her was a breeze].
She was probably abandoned because of her skin condition, a fungal infection that resembles human dandruff.
That's pointless because this condition looks worse than it really is: the vet says she should recover in a couple of weeks!

Entirely by accident, we discovered that she knows two commands: beg/dance for food, and sit.

She's adopted Lucie's fluffy stuffed duck, and Lucie's not too pleased.
So we're calling her Daisy. Daisy Duck.

Sorry about the red eyes

My point is this:
I URGENTLY NEED A RESPONSIBLE DOG FOSTER AND AM WILLING TO PAY YOU FOR IT. I SIMPLY DO NOT HAVE THE SPACE FOR ONE MORE ANIMAL ESPECIALLY A DOG.

Sigh.
Spread the word, please?
[I'll write you a haiku *heh*.]

Off I go to call ASD. Oh please God, let there be a vacancy.

CatDonna

Haikus!

2006-11-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!

I is Teddy Samurai,

bestest of the best wif the swordplay an' the ready wit!

I's write haikuz.
Mummy Ladie sez is best fer my limited language skillz.
I love Mummy Ladie!

Hir's one of mine:

"MY LIFE" by Teddy
Nap. Nap nap, nap nap;
Eat eat, eat eat eat? Eat! eat -
Groom, groom... It's Doe: hide.

Why Teddy is scared of Doe

I's ran this thru spell check, an' Mummy Ladie proof-read it.
I hope you's like it!

I's pass this on to Mummy Ladie now.
I's gonna ride into the sunset. Like a real samurai.
Bye!

Off to do battle with the Arm of Injustice

Love, Teddy

**********

I wrote one too!

"LONELINESS" by CatDonna
Fat fuzzy woman,
Disappointed with date, walks
Into the dark night.

I have an idea.
If anyone's interested, write a haiku just for fun and post it on your blog!
If you do, please leave a comment here so we can run over and have a look. :)

Chocolate is whining; I'd better see to her.
She hurt her paw yesterday, whilst running around the patio garden derisively mocking my attempts at planting stuff.
Nothing major, just a slight cut.
But she's been in a nasty swiping mood since. She even attacked top cat Doe.

CatDonna

**********

I was whining because I wanted to blog, you stupid biatch.

Recuperating in luxurious privacy, Choc bravely manages a smile and wink for her adoring fans

Ahem! Here's my contribution to our little literary circle.
Prepare to be blown away by my greatness, after all, true art is derived from pain.

"SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE" by Chocolate Tigress
Lame but lovely still...
I'LL KILL YOU ALL, BLOODY CATS!!!
Dust. Beneath. My. Heels.*

*By "heels", I refer to my black snakeskin Prada stilettoes. FYI, darrrlings.

Remember, plagiarism is a crime. Steal any of our lovely haikus, especially mine, and I'll rip your thieving eyes out!

Chocolate

CatDonna's New Hobby

2006-11-02T16:00:00.000+08:00

Teddy's work and toil - a paw print in the soil

Is Hard Work, But Very Fun.

It's not always easy to get things done, though. Especially when there are seven quality-control inspectors in the house supervising your every move.

The cats were getting in the way, everywhere. Playing with the compost. Sitting in the pots. Eating the seedlings [!!!].

And they kept telling me what to do. Don't you hate it when so-called experts barge into your business and tell you what to do?!

"No, no, you're all wrong, I'll tell you what to do"

So in the end I chased 'em off, and the Seven Experts went to take power naps and/or dabble in IT consultancy.

The miracle is how we get any work done here

Ranting aside, gardening is great fun, even with the cats around.

Lucie was sitting by the seedling tray, watching me thin out the seedlings [pulling out the weaker ones for the strong ones to get more nourishment]: hand in, grasp seedling with finger and thumb, pull out gently. Done.

So she decided to try. She put in a paw, tried to grab hold of a seedling without the benefit of an opposable thumb, and oh-so-carefully SQUASHED it. Done!

I don't remember buying pussywillow

But don't go "Awww" on Lucie yet. Soon after, the punk picked a fight with Pip and, in the process, smashed a glass jug.

So she was grounded in the guest bathroom.

While Pip sneered with joy at her unexpected vindication.

"Sneer?! I'm too nice for that. See me cuddling my stuffed lion instead."

["Heh heh heh heh heh!!!!!"]

The rain's stopped, the sun's out. Off I go to check on my plants.
I'll let you figure out what I'm growing, to save myself the embarrassment of having nothing to show for it. Heh!
Hint: I'm not into flowers.

Love lots, and for those in the tropics, take care of your health. Hot and showery weather like this can be a strain on the body.

CatDonna

Truce? I wish.

2006-10-31T00:18:00.000+08:00

I'm having SO MUCH MORE FUN than you, nyah nyah nyaaah!!!

Pip and Lucie have invented a new kitty sport.

It's a simple game of one-upcatship called "I'm Having More Fun Than You". Basically, you act like you're having a grand ol' time, doing whatever it is you're doing, all the better to annoy your rival with.

It started with a normal face-off: Lucie growling, Pip glaring.

Then Pip went over to the corner you see in the pic, with all the dirty laundry, and started Smellin' The Roses and scrunching up her face with great satisfaction, the way cats do when they encounter something pungent. Ohhh lovely.

Not to be outdone, Lucie lolled around the yellow bathroom rug, splayed on her back with her fuzzy tummy to the world in ostensible Relax Mode, ready to fall asleep from her IMMENSE satisfaction. Mmmm wonderful.

Blissfully oblivious as always, Teddy comes over to check out the camera

It was stupid crazy. Pip and Lucie are VERY POOR actresses. You can see how tense they really were.
What also gave them away was how they kept glancing at each other surreptitiously.

Heehee. And even if they did act really well, they sure didn't convince me:

Pip isn't normally interested in smelly laundry and
Lucie hardly ever naps at ground level.

After about 10 minutes of pointless posturing and faked satisfaction, Lucie won by a narrow margin and sauntered off, while Pip was left in the corner to scowl.

Them be good entertainers, cats.

CatDonna

Updated Blogroll

2006-10-29T21:12:00.000+08:00

Have you added me to YOUR blogroll yet, punk?

You'll notice the list of local blogs has expanded some.

I say More Power to Singapore CatBloggers.

To those who incorporate issues of responsibility and animal welfare in their posts.

To those who share their daily lives, living with and loving their pets or community animals.

To those who directly and/or indirectly show the world that animals aren't evil, but man's ignorance and apathy can be.

And to those who, by example, lead us towards the paths of compassion and wisdom, in dealing with animals and with each other [but treating other peple like animals doesn't count, har har].

SingaCatBloggers, I salute you!

[/soapbox]

Anyhoos... local bloggers who would like to be added and who aren't on the list, leave a comment or send me mail and I'll put you in. I want this list to be as comprehensive as possible. If you're a catblogger you'll be on the "cool cats"; even if you're not, I've been thinking of setting up a non-catblog category for some time.

International catbloggers, just a while more and I'll get to ya. I've got quite a few blogs I need to put up, I know. Sorry!

Love
CatDonna

ps - Pip's avoiding me now. And she's kept a low profile for two days, quite a record for her. Clever little beast.

Angry Woman + I need HELP Updated twice

2006-10-27T14:04:00.000+08:00

**Update the Second** 12:30 a.m.: Pip. Did. It. Again.

ARGH. Kill Pip. Kill kill kill. **/Update the Second**

**Update** Have uploaded pic of Doe's injury. He's uncharacteristically muted today. Pip must've really given it to him.

After the sandwich and the blogging, I ate two slices of chocolate rum cake just 'cos I was so pissed.

This is emotional eating at its worst, people. **/Update**

Woke up today to Pip tearing up and down the house looking particularly wild-eyed.
When Pip starts jumping around like a cat on a hot tin roof, something's up.

So I followed her to the living room where I found her frantically pawing at her favourite corner of the carpet, which was already folded over in a most incriminating manner.
[Incriminating because this is how she wraps her "presents" for me.]

All the other cats sat in a broad semi-circle and watched Pip's desperate cover-up from a safe distance. You could sense the nervous smugness in their eyes as they watched silently.
Oh ho Pip, you's in some serrrious s**t now. The Woman gonna smack you.

I turned the corner over - et voila - PIP POOP.

I am so mad. I am so incredibly angry.
This is our favourite carpet.
And only Pip has the gall to do this OVER and OVER and OVER again.

Pun not really intended but only Pip gives this kind of crap.
No other cat tries this rubbish.
The other cats know their place.

We've disciplined her, sprayed her with the water bottle, yelled at her, steam-cleaned the carpet Idunnohowmany times, sprayed Idunnohowmuch Bitter Lemon on it...

[We're wary of using vinegar or other strong cleaning agents on this carpet because we don't want to end up spoiling it, after all, Pip's already doing such a friggin' good job.]

We've done everything we can to break Pip's pooping pattern, even hid the carpet for a couple months, but it seems to be a neverending battle of wills. Pip appears determined to stick to her schedule.

Right now I want to slap her and chuck her against the wall, I am that angry.
[Nah, I won't do it. I'm just venting. Don't call the AVA please, I don't need more trouble right now!]
Pip was perfectly okay with the carpet at first, she only started this pooping-in-chosen-corner ritual a couple months ago.

**********

This is exactly the same thing that happened with my favourite giant purple plush beanbag last year. Pip loved it, I loved it, we used to nap on the beanbag together.

[This was when we only had Pip and Doe, so Pip's motivation for her insanities isn't territorial.]

Then one day Pip decided that NO ONE NOT EVEN HERSELF could use it anymore, and she started peeing on it almost everyday.
The husband and I did everything we could. In the end we had to get rid of it.

**********

I don't want to be forced into giving up this carpet, it's too beautiful and too expensive.

I need help. Can anyone give advice on

How to break an especially stubborn cat's habits
A really good, experienced professional carpet cleaner
How to stop me stress-nibbling because I instinctively inhaled a ham-and-cheese sandwich after Pip's latest shenanigan [hey, since we're on the topic]

[Slight digression. Earlier this morning Doe came up to me with a mysterious bloody gash over his right eye.

I just saw a hissy Pip cornering a frightened-looking Doe and waving a threatening paw at his face. So now we know whodunnit... and Doe, for the love of God. You are the top cat in this house, and you're frightened of your sister the resident loony?!]

You're never safe when there's a Pip in the house

Right now as I'm typing this Pip is running up and down the study, jumping up the desks, shoving pens off and slapping Chocolate, acting very high-strung. She's probably trying to get our reassurance that we still love her.

Well rest assured Pip.
I REALLY HATE YOUR GUTS RIGHT NOW.

CatDonna

Photo Op

2006-10-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

Readers of this blog will know that Pip and Lucie aren't exactly the best of friends.

Here is photographic evidence of the fact:

I call this one "Seconds Before Disaster".

Thank you.
CatDonna

ps - Happy Holidays! :)

Ohhh my head.

2006-10-20T10:41:00.001+08:00

Do not. Mess. With the Princess.

Was planning to sleep in a little bit today but this was thwarted by The Princess herself.

Pip was lying next to me doing her usual thing, ie staring obsessively at my face with dilated mad-looking eyes [while I tried to ignore her and get some rest].

I closed my eyes and after a while, felt a flutter past my leg. Okay, Pip's gone.
Just as I was about to relax I started hearing cat voices.
A duet. "Oww-oww mmowww wowww."

Sweet, clueless Boonie [R] with his sister and
Pip's other arch-enemy, Lucie [L]

I shuffled out of the bedroom to find Pip and Boonie in a hostile face-off, Boonie providing a rather melodious alto while Pip added a screechy soprano at the exciting bits.
The other cats were sitting around at a safe distance, watching the tension build up and looking a little scared [even Polly the Mad Midget Tortoiseshell, who normally doesn't give a flip].

"Ima gonna stay outta dis, ya know?"

Then Pip decided to practise her scales at a pitch and volume reserved only for emergency sirens and Mariah Carey: "Oww-wowww mrrrkeargghhh aaAAIIIEEEEEEEE SHRRRIIIIEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!"

Pip's voice has this way of slicing in between your eyes, penetrating your skull and reverberating horribly in your poor tired brain. Ohhh it hurts.

I knew there was a catfight going on - Pip was rippin' balls of fur outta Boonie's fat tummy but Boo was still winning on account of size - but with echoes of Angry Cat Aria bouncing round my head, I couldn't care less.

So I went to the kitchen and called for a truce.
Once they heard the can of Avoderm being opened, EVERYONE rushed over and forgot about the fight. Except for Chocolate, who doesn't care for wet food: I fed her some special treat biscuits in the study.

**********

You're seeing right, Pip's resting her idiotic little head on my boob.

Now as I'm typing this, Pip's come over to purr and cuddle on my lap. After a while she'll probably start kneading and suckling on the collar of my nightgown. As if nothing had happened, and the Pipperina Princess was the sweetest, most harmless thing in the world.

CatDonna

ps - Some of you may be wondering [or sniggering away] at my unfortunate choice of nightgown. When I first rescued a filthy and sick baby Pip, I wore these cheap tatty nighties while tending to her [easily disposable if dirtied beyond redemption].

Pip now associates these nightgowns with maternal lurve and throws tantrums if I don't wear 'em at least once in a while... alright fine... almost every day.

Expert Beauty Tip #23

2006-10-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

It is a pleasant afternoon and I am lounging in my favourite black leather chair, preparing for a well-deserved nap before I get ready for my glamorous, decadent parties in the evening.

(The man is saying, "Chocolate, that's my chair!")

The sun is warm, the haze is not too bad, a breeze is blowing. Hope it doesn't ruffle my coiffure too much. I dare say I will be the life and soul of tonight's gatherings. As always.

("Get off you useless cat, I need to work!")

So many ignorant creatures think that being beautiful is an easy job. Trust me, it is hard, too hard for many of you. Take for example, my pre-party nap. Too short and I'm still tired, too long and I get that annoying fuzzy headache.

So you see, Beauty is a gift and a responsibility.
The Nap is an endeavour of precision.
You must understand, young kittens!

("I give up. I'm just going to sit here and work. You're going to smell my bottom and be squashed.")

If you don't nap, don't take care of your face and body, and waste time on worthless things like picking fights and consuming dangerous drugs like catnip, you end up looking as horrible as this:

Trust me, you don't want to resemble this hideous specimen photograph that I've only just dug up, oh, for purposes of demonstration:

And that's my Beauty Tip for today.
Till next time, darrrlings.

Chocolate Tigress

Quotable Quotes from Memorable Essays

2006-10-14T02:20:00.000+08:00

I told you to let me destroy 'em all!

Excerpts from my recent examination marking. So you can peek into the insanity that is CatDonna's previous career and understand why I resigned from the service, laughing madly and throwing bricks in the air.

Also, some things just beg to be shared because they're so bad, they're good.

Boonie is glad to hear that he's not the dumb one for once

**********

QUESTION: IS WAR EVER JUSTIFIED?

"World War Two was sparkled off by Hitler, the Nazi of Germany. He sparkled off the war because he wanted love and respect by his country people. This is probably because of his bad childhood. When Hitler was young, he was humanilated and they looked down."

Polly gets annoyed by the silliness already...

"... the Americans dropped a fat man and a little boy on Japan..."

While Teddy stays calm with deep breathing and stretching exercises

"During the Japanese occupation, the Japanese were very hard to move from their occupation. You see, they were very stubborn."

**********

QUESTION: IS IT GOOD TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT?

"Self-sufficient means you are content with what you have, your job, your clothes and food. Let me ask you, if you see some money notes on the street, what will you do? If you pick it up, you are greedy. If you only pick a few notes up, you are self-sufficient."

Napping Lucie looks real self-sufficient there

**********

QUESTION: ARE PARENTS TO BLAME FOR INCREASING INDISCIPLINE IN SCHOOLS?

"When parents are young, they are punished with the stick on their backsides or on their hands. So they grow up with a fear of the stick. When they become parents, they remember the fear of the stick, when their mother stood behind them and breathed down their neck and held the stick in her hand. So they do not give their children the stick. Then the children have no fear of the stick. When the children want something, they will bang* their arms and legs until they get what they want."

*The hilarious, unfortunate [and unintended] sexual overtones of this paragraph climax, pardon the pun, in this word - "bang" is a colloquial term in British English referring to sexual intercourse. Is the word used similarly in American English? Can someone enlighten me on this? Thanks.

Choc can only lie down and sighhhhh

**********

And this is my favourite, the one that got me gasping "What?!" and *groan* *facepalm* at 7:20 am in the morning:

QUESTION: TO WHAT EXTENT IS EDUCATION THE SOLUTION TO POVERTY?

"Education has two functions: to develop your manpower, and to develop your manhood."

Pip and Doe blow raspberries...

**********

... And Doe walks away

Will update if I can remember more samples.

CatDonna

Update: Hazel The Nut

2006-10-13T11:15:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Pauline for the pics

Hazel, apparently, is doing very well after his adoption.

According to the adopters' daughter who keeps in touch and occasionally sends pics [some of which you see here], he is "well-behaved and manja [a local term for 'attention-seeking and affectionate']." He likes to sit with Daddy and watch television. He rules the living room and chases all the other cats away [he lives with four other kitties]. And the naughty thing is allowed to sleep on the humans' bed, it seems.

High and mighty

He was beginning the teething process when he was first adopted, so his adopters did wonder about the bad breath. They've changed his name [for now] to Pipi, which literally translated from Mandarin Chinese means "Fart Fart". MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA.
[The breath has improved since then, though.]

**********

I need to tell you about the day Hazel was adopted.

Hazel at the adoption drive.
Pic shamelessly ripped off from 5 Cat Style and the Flyer's blog. Thanks! ;)

Hazel was adopted at the cat adoption drive held during a major show, a couple months back.

And he hated it. Hated everything about it. Hated being away from Mummy Pip for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LITTLE LIFE. Hated the other cats around him [he'd always hated other cats; Pip had trained him well]. Hated the noise, the humans gawking, the cold.

So he huddled into a ball in his cage and implemented a policy of total uncooperativeness, the poor lil' monster.

The first potential adopter was a young woman with boyfriend. "I have an old Persian who's very sweet and gentle, is this one a nice little kitty?" She asked to hold Hazel for a while [all things considered, Hazel is a demon but looks like a cuddly sweetie-pie]. Hazel was fine when I held him, until I was just about to hand him over...

... then he LUNGED, SCREAMED AND SPAT at the young lady with such vehement ferocity that everyone in the adoption ring was shocked into silence. Staring at me while I bundled Hellcat into the cage and apologised to the traumatised woman.

Some of the other cat fosters came up to me after that and said, "Wow, you got a fierce one there".
SP came up to me and said, "Hazel really takes after his mad mother huh" [twirling finger round temple in significant manner].
A couple of gawkers/ potential adopters came into the ring, pointed at Hazel and concocted some crazy story about how Hazel must be half-Bengal, Oh look at his tabby markings, and how fierce he was just now.

Me, fierce?

Hazel had to be switched to a quieter cage in a corner because he was getting very tense.

The second potential adopters, a newlywed couple, only got to look at Hazel because when they came near he kinda guessed what they wanted, and started hissing and swiping at the bars. Again, they were looking for "sweet and gentle", not "bloodthirsty and quite possibly insane".

By then it was 3:30 pm and I decided to leave at 4.
No point prolonging the torment.

Round about 3:45 pm a family came in and the mother went over to Hazel. Hazel went into his usual welcome song-and-dance [snarl, swipe, heckles raised].

... And the lady pointed at him and said,
"I like his spirit! I'll take this one!"

And we all lived happily ever after.

**********

"Pipi" and adoptive Papa.
Damn Hazel - I mean, Little Fart - NEVER let me cuddle him like that.

They say sometimes you choose the animal, sometimes the animal chooses you.

What I can say is I think Hazel and his new family are very happy together. And sometimes these things are just meant to be.

CatDonna

Ohhh PIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

Don't be cross, I'm only a sweet widdle kitty...
[damn your ass, woman!]

I'm going to rant about what an idiot Pip was on Saturday. God, it's days like these I wonder why the heck I didn't just put her up for adoption from the start.

I mean when SP herself, an experienced catsitter with over 300 cats under her charge, shook her head in fascinated horror and said "CatDonna, your Pip is kinda crazy" while twirling her finger round her temple in a significant manner, I should have known I've got a mix of Psycho and The Exorcist playing in my hands.

Instead, I just laughed and said "Yeah, she's got personality".
Personality, my foot.

Anyway, I dunno if the planets were in an especial alignment for obnoxious and stupid behaviour last weekend but Pip certainly outshone her past achievements that Saturday.

As you all know, my last weekend was no weekend at all as I was frantically marking examination essays in time for the Monday deadline. So while I was stressing out, Pip decided to help.

First she lounged about the desk glaring at me.

The librarian is in

Then she must have thought, Oh dirty looks are not enough for this woman.
So she hopped into the cardboard lid cum makeshift script box and chewed it out.

"You should be so grateful I'm helping you with the scripts"

Then she CHEWED AND MANGLED A SCRIPT, the stupid animal, and that was when I put the camera down and expelled her from my workroom.

Only three weeks old, and already Pip was planning the destruction of my workroom

Later...

A low-grade cabin fever was getting to me so I took my scripts and went to mark in the living room.

Pip thought it was a good idea to dive under the scripts and fling them up in the air - which she proceeded to do several times.

Then she fought with Lucie.

Then she fought with Polly.

Then she fought with Chocolate [you like that don't you, Bonnie].

Then she fought with Boonie and I HAD ENOUGH SO I GRABBED PIP AND SHOOK HER AND YELLED CUT IT OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MISERABLE FREAK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UUUPPPPP!!!!!!!

All the cats ran away in fright, while Pip struggled in my grip and tried to bite my thumb. Finally I put her back down on the floor and she lay quietly next to me. Behaving, at last. She didn't even flinch when her arch-enemy Lucie came and lay beside her for a while.

About the only time Pip doesn't start trouble

After a bit I went to the bathroom to wash my hands, Pip followed as usual, and as she jumped up the glass wall of the shower cubicle I walked out of the bathroom.

Then I heard
the SHRIEEEK!!! of a Pip tumbling off the wall and
the BAM!!! of a Pip hitting the toilet bowl and
the CRASHHH!!! of a Pip landing on the detergent bottles on the floor and then

Pip shot out the bathroom at top speed, her lower lip bleeding slightly. Apart from that, no discernible injury. Thank goodness.

Pip was pretty subdued the rest of the day.

Till next time, sucker

CatDonna

Let them eat c***!

2006-10-10T09:16:00.000+08:00

It's the woman's birthday today.

So I made her a cake.

On the carpet. Not the cheap carpet of course, the expensive one. Birthdays only come once a year you know.

Yum yum chocolate bum, I mean rum.

It's also the last day of the woman's job assignment so if you don't get regular posts soon after today, you have my permission to kill her.

Love to all. Don't be deceived by Chocolate Tramp.
Pip

ps - I have a cut lip. I fell off the shower cubicle wall on Saturday and hit my head on the toilet bowl. Dammit.

Like Water For Chocolate

2006-10-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

Dear everyone,

this is Chocolate Tigress, possibly the most beautiful cat in the House of CatDonna. I say "possibly" because it makes me sound slightly more modest, and it gives the other ragtag moggies here some faint, vain hope of perhaps surpassing my terribly good looks one day.

Beat this, losers!

Not that it is likely to happen. My maddening beauty is like a large, gloriously luxuriant apple tree. In comparison, some scrawny miserable mog's poor looks are about as withered and insignificant as a pip. But let's not go there.

Does my beauty make me arrogant and grasping? Perhaps it does, but you love me for it, don't you. Blame it all on my deprived kittenhood: before my rescue, I was a skinny underfed [albeit in an endearing, Kate-Mossy, homeless chic way] stray kitten begging for scraps in a dingy coffeeshop.

So now that I can have anything I want, I'll take it all, baby.

Yes, actually, this is my bed. Since you asked.

Including a drink that the woman had, next to her elbow, while she was marking some examination scripts at home earlier this week. I was sauntering up and down the study perfecting my already perfect catwalk, and feeling the thirst from all that hard work posturing.

It was a bowl full of something that looked like a light consomme of sorts. Mmm, soup. So I sashayed over and took a deep, grateful lick.

Then everything went black for a while.

When I regained consciousness I was moaning quietly in a corner, my lush fur bristling like 80's punk mohawks never went out of fashion. [Thank God the 80's retro styles are still in.]

The stupid woman was hunched over like the freakishly ugly double-chinned Quasimodo she is, laughing at me. When she finally stopped long enough to talk, I was informed that I apparently:

Said "AAIIEEEEE"
Leapt about a foot in the air
Did kung fu chops with all four legs in every direction
Shook my head furiously going "HHAAACCCKKKK KKOOOFFFF GAAARRRGGHH"
Ran, frothing at the mouth, into a corner where I started moaning

It wasn't soup, it was a herbal remedy of sorts. And it was. Very. Bitter.

I hate the woman sometimes. All the other times she drank water, but this time I'm sure she put this poison out to trick me.

But that's life, isn't it? Someone said it was like a box of Chocolate.

Only one Chocolate but I'm all you need, honey

Ah well. I'm still gorgeous.
Off I go to think some more beautiful thoughts, probably on the human's bed or the woman's favourite clothing.
Love you all, my darling darrrling readers.

Chocolate
ps - This post is replicated in the Attack of The Tabbies. Sharing is Caring, people!

It's tough being perfect, you know

Boonie's Great Plastic Bag Adventure

2006-09-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!

My name is Boonie Blackbear and I live in the House of CatDonna. Today I want to tell you about my great big plastic bag adventure.

Mummy Lady says I look like a black bear

There was a plastic bag on the floor and I was so happy! So I played with it. I lay on it and felt how smooth it was, like my lovely soft fur. I also ran with it and heard it go WHOOSH on the floor.

But then the handle got trapped round my round fat middle and i was very frightened and waaaaaa i panicked and ran into all sorts of things like walls and chairs and doors and everyone was very frightened and they tried to hide and my sister lucie luckystar said HISSSSSSS at me and i said WAAAAAAAA but no one knew how to help and i ran and ran and then i ran

and suddenly it was warm and wet runnin down my legs

and then Mummy Lady came out sayin "What's the ruckus?" and saw me tremblin in a corner 'cause I didn't know what to do. And then she said "Oh God Boonie, you're really an idiot aren't you" and then she came over and took the plastic bag off me. And then she realised that the bag was wet and my legs were wet and she said "What the..." and then she started to laugh.

And then everyone was happy, and that was the end of my adventure.

Bye!

Boonie Blackbear
ps - Mummy Lady says there's no way anyone will wanna adopt me now.

Over The Hump

2006-09-27T11:48:00.000+08:00

It's Wednesday.

Someone just kill me now.

ps - Pip did try earlier this morning, bless her black little heart.
Unfortunately it's very hard to annoy a human to death even if one is exceptionally obnoxious, aggressive, and thought that it was a good idea to KICK THE HUMANS whilst lolling around on the desk, whining incessantly and tearing up important work documents.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Run.

2006-09-23T18:49:00.000+08:00

Sorry for lack of updates. The backlog is immense, and I'm very sorry.

I need to blog about

Victor and Bonnie's lovely prizes that my monsters thoroughly enjoyed, and absolutely did not deserve
Hazel's horrific adoption drive day, and his adoptive family that loves him for his naughtiness
Doe is learning to projectile vomit at will
Oh. God. The work. The exam is this Friday and the kids have no idea what is going to hit them and ever since I came over to this college a couple weeks ago I realised I was pretty much teaching from scratch
Sinusitis: it's returned horribly and now I'm on a nasal spray treatment for the next six months
I bet there's about twenty more things but I've forgotten them right now
Kitty dynamics in the House of CatDonna have changed... Boonie and Lucie have decided they're not taking any more stick from Pip. The fights are noisy, malicious, and hilariously incompetent

Okay I have to go now. PROMISE, I absolutely promise to blog after next week when the madness ends.

By the way, I teach H1 General Paper [that's General Studies in the UK system, and I don't know if there's an equivalent in the USA]. It's basically English Language and Debates and Current Affairs and How Well Can You Bluff Your Way Through A Tight Spot. Hahahahaha.

I'm playing this ad nauseum while I'm working on notes for next week's insanities, I mean tutorials.

The title and lyrics don't really reflect my mood [don't worry I'm not that angsty heh], but there's something about the vigorous beat that's very infectiously GOOD. So I wanna share.

Stevie Nicks' Stand Back

Although this might be a good sign of Pip's mood nowadays. She hasn't got a friend in the world now, except her bag of little feathery mice prizes. One catnip fish. And me.

Lots of love to all. Not even got time to read my fav cat blogs AGH!!!
Next week, I CAN'T WAIT.

Breathe in, breathe out, and off I run.
Love to all.
CatDonna

Short notes before I sail

2006-09-05T09:52:00.000+08:00

In the craziness that has been these past couple weeks some cool things happened:

I am starting work next week; it's an assignment to teach at a junior college for a month. I've been preparing materials and lesson plans to help the poor kids, and their exams are in 3 weeks!
Hazel was adopted. Oh God, that's another horror story.
We received a LOVELY LOVELY package in the mail about three days ago. Sorry for the silence, Victor and Bonnie! And thank you so much. I've locked it up in a drawer so the cats can't get at it... yet... until I return from my holiday and have the camera fully charged to take pics of the lil' monsters hugely enjoying themselves with the treats and toys. Dear lambj, you really didn't have to give the treats, but you chose to spoil my kitties anyway. I'm very touched and grateful. You are SUCH a darling. :)
Yes, I'm going away for three days to the sunny Indonesian resort island of Bintan. It's going to be my last holiday in a while. I'm being picked up in about 20 minutes, and I HAVEN'T PACKED.

I have to run. Lots of love to all.
CatDonna

Dilemma.

2006-08-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

"JACK. He is 2 months old and has recovered from an eye operation. A very jovial & friendly kitten who is a joy to look at. He is looking [for a] cats [sic] lover who is willing to overlook his eye condition (he is perfectly healthy) and can give him a family and provide love & care."

Got this off the Cat Welfare Society adoption board.

I quite like Jack. I dunno why. He strikes me as a rakishly cute little fellow, somewhat like Polly. [Polly, by the way, is my only adopted cat - the rest are rescues - and I got her off the CWS adoption board, too.]

But I know, I absolutely CANNOT take in yet another cat. Eight in one flat is more than enough for me and the husband. They're not cheap, either.

There will be a major cat show + adoption drive on 4 September [Sun] at the Singapore Expo. Hazel will be there, and he will probably be adopted.

I've decided not to bring Boonie and Lucie along, though, even though they've been up for adoption much longer. It's too traumatic for them.

I think Boonie almost collapsed from the stress, the last time they were at an adoption drive. It was embarrassing [imagine being asked "Why is that cat hyperventilating?" X 10,000 for six hours] and frankly, quite frightening to watch Boonie pant and cry nonstop.

I know it's a bad move not to bring 'em, though.
Chances of adoption if cats stay at home: pretty dang low.
Crap. I'm stuck.
But I can't bring myself to do it this time.

The next time we get such a large event will be next year. Boonie and Lucie will be over 1 year old by then, and that's the threshold beyond which adoption eligibility dwindles quite rapidly.

Everyone wants kittens.

If what I suspect comes to pass, Boonie and Lucie will be here for a while until the Right Person comes along, and that means my personal cat rescue resources [space, money, time, effort] will be severely constrained.

That means no adopting Jack, which I don't really mind. But it also does mean definitely no taking in more rescues unless they're life-and-death emergencies, and FORTHELOVEOFGOD, there are too many emergencies already.

As long as there are selfish and irresponsible humans, there will always be abandoned and abused cats/kittens.
What do I do, the next time I come across a box of abandoned kittens? The next time I discover a cat, abused and too injured to survive on the streets without human intervention?

Must the day come when I turn and walk away because I simply can't take on any more?

**********

Not that it hasn't happened before.

**********

So. Lucie and Boonie. Lovely young cats, healthy and affectionate. Best adopted together. If you want more details contact me. Any takers?

Just The Eight of Us [Lotsa Pics Ahead]

2006-08-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

Guess what! We won a contest! Pip was the 10,000th reader of the well-known and well-loved blog belonging to Bonnie Underfoot and Victor Tabbycat.

Thank you for the kind gesture, lambj! And congratulations to Bonnie [drat, I keep spelling Boonie] and Victor on the enduring popularity of your lovely blog! Here's to many, many more readers to come.

Today was an exciting day. After I returned from this morning's Bingo and Scone Baking Club meeting I took out my crocheting kit andARGH GET OFF ME HEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP nvfjsopityhr564782orbdjklg;rw[gffnsuifrhajfklghu;i

**********

Got rid of the woman at last.

I, NOT "WE", won a cool contest held by a couple of even cooler cats. And I just want you darlings to know, Bonnie and Victor, that you don't have to prepare too many treatsies for us.

Herrrrrrre's my guide on Purchasing Treatsies for Just The Eight of Us CatDonna's Cats [yesss, there are eight of us at present]:

BOONIE BLACKBEAR

Mad black tabby boy with a penchant for hiding in paper bags. Large as an ox, eats like a horse, cries like a pussy when bullied. Don't waste your money on him.

Boonie is the brother of
LUCIE LUCKYSTAR

Violent vicious tortoiseshell tabby girl. Likes to attack stuffed toys and the woman's feet. She picks on Hazel too so I hate her. AND SHE AIN'T YOUR 10,000TH READER, OH NO!!! So you can leave her outta the treats.

By the way, Boonie and Lucie are up for adoption, so if there is anyone willing to help me get rid of my two worst enemies I will be very grateful. Thankee.

Moving on...

CHOCOLATE TIGRESS

A very unique dilute chocolate tabby girl, with perfect stripes and a long straight tail. She's beautiful and she knows it. Pretentious stuck-up poseur who loves the lap of luxury, and the woman's bed.

The truth about Choc is...

She's a zombie alien with ambitions to take over the world.

Ooh look, an unflattering pic of our pretty girl! Whatcha gonna do Choc, eye-laser me to death?! I'm so scared!! TOUGH POOPS GIRLIE, I'M WRITING THIS BLOG NOT YOU NYAH NYAH NYAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Don't feed the zombies.

TEDDY

This is Teddy. Half-Persian bobtailed classic ginger tabby and white, male.

If there ever were a competition for World's Stupidest Cat, Teddy would at least be a very strong contender.

Ever heard of a cat who ran into walls when excited? Who would simply curl into a ball and wail when beaten up by the other cats? Whose sole purpose in life seems to be EAT then SLEEP then EAT then SLEEP... and hopefully without screwing up the order of events???

I'm sure there's a law around here that prohibits giving treats to fat and stupid cats UNDER PAIN OF DEATH AND OTHER GREAT SUFFERINGS.
If I were you, I'd abide by the law.

"Sigh... Pip's making fun of me again"

Although I'll admit he's cute as a button and easily the nicest, sweetest cat in our household.
How on earth did Teddy become the father of my lovely kittens?
I swear. I only let him knock me up out of pity.
[That, and the samurai costume.]

POLLY POCKET

Ugly dirty-looking tortoiseshell midget with disturbingly violent tendencies.

Polly is a foul-mouthed, aggressive little ball of fur, teeth and claws.
I will NEVER forgive her for the times she beat me to the first bite of stinky goodness or table scraps. Or the times she screamed and smacked my face JUST BECAUSE I bit her.
Ignore her pathetic attempts at acting cute.
Plus, she's undergoing treatment for congenital liver weakness, so that disqualifies her from treatsies, no?

DOE

has an eating disorder. We think he's bulimic but he's denying everything.
Still, it's strange how often he purges after eating.
The vet says Doe is fine, and some cats just tend to vomit more.
I say if your treatsies are gonna end up hurled onto the floor, save 'em.

Doe is the brother of
PIPPERINA PRINCESS!!!

The MOST DESERVING of YER LOVELY TREATSIES!
LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!

Sexy: Watch out Paris Hilton!

In control: Bossing the woman around in the shower!

Just Gosh Darn Cute: FEED KITTEN PIP TREATS TREATS TREATS GIVE NOW I WANT.

Besides myself, the only other kitten deserving treats is the fruit of my lithe and nubile loins,
HAZEL [the NUT]

He's almost 5 months old already!

That's my boy! Give 'em the old dirty look!

Hazel deserves all the treats he gets. By association with the moi and my superior genes, of course.

So we don't ask for much, really - just one truckload of treats and toys for me, and another truckload for my Hazel baby.
The others can eat their little hearts out.
Heh heh heh!

Off I go for another beauty nap.

Thank you,
Pip

Skip to the loo, my darling

2006-08-18T22:45:00.000+08:00

This reminds me of the time Pip learnt to flush the toilet, too. The only difference being that she flushed the loo when I was still on it. Oh, the memories.

The Woman Is Useless At Updating So Here I Am

2006-08-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

Hello my darlings, this is Pip from a very long time ago. I'm sorry you haven't heard from me for so long, and it's been all up to the woman's feeble paws and dull intellect to type something out once in a while, which as I notice she HASN'T been doing lately... so let's get to it shall we?

I mean, all this nonsense about "looking out for the right job opportunities" and "part-time private tuition"... ppffftt.

PRIORITIES, where are your PRIORITIES, WOMAN?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!

Anyway I'm back, after giving birth to one lovely bouncing boy kitten called Hazel and one wriggly shrivelled runty thing that the woman insisted on saving... still, he was a dear in the end. Whatever his name was.

Stop glaring Polly, of course I know his name... Fever? Fibre?

That one's been adopted and now it's just darling Hazel and the I... I've lost all my post-pregnancy weight, I know you'll all hate me for saying this but I DON'T CARE, I actually do think I'm slimmer and sexier than before I had the pesky babies.

Family portrait. I was already slimmer than Teddy by then. Although to be honest, that's not difficult.

Kind of like Victoria Beckham, you know, how she looked like a Pekingese before her babies and like a praying mantis after. A glamorous skinny tanned toned praying mantis.

Oh I'm sure you'll be hearing from me more often from now on!

Hazel: Mummy, sometimes I'm sad. Why do the cats not like me?
Pip: Well Hazelmydarling, it's all very simple...

... They're jealous of your big pink nose, annoying quacky voice, and general bad attitude. All the more you should look down on them, those inferior kitties scurrying around...

... Even the humans; you look 'em in the eye! Don't hate us cos we're beautiful, it won't help your looks for sure!

Speaking of Hazel, my darling pride and joy, he's becoming quite a pain in the @$$ nowadays. Hazel is now slightly over four months old and he's almost as large as I am... he's been gaining weight recently and he looks rather hefty now.

Hazel's Giant Paw

Size-wise I think he's taking after his father, but PURRAISE THE LORD his personality is very like mine. Terrible! Even I can't stand him myself, sometimes.

Hazel still tries to suckle but these days when he tries, I give a few well-aimed kicks to his dear little head. The woman feels sorry for the boy but I've got to wean him, right? Try cat teeth and sandpaper tongue on your nipples, moron.

Hazel tries to go for the milk...

... and is knocked out cold by one of Pip's kicks

Unfortunately Hazel's also got a new nickname now. The people call him Ducky. Hazel hardly meows because that's the patronising sound we make to humans only, a kind of loud and slowly enunciated "Heyyyy youuuu... feed me/ clean the box/ outta my face/ etc".

Hazel, being aloof and stuck up, doesn't really like to deal with humans so much. He only really talks to me... and well, the nutty little love, he... quacks.

The woman is trying to get a videocam to record this embarrassing idiosyncracy for posterity. Quack quack quack.

Hey, don't look at me. It's likely the father's side of the family. Probably some very stupid, watered-down Persian gene.

Anyway, don't tell anyone I told you this, because DuckyoopsImeanHazel is up for adoption next month and the woman is concerned about his chances. He's cute as a button, but whoever would want such a wacky, quacky little thing?

The woman's here. I have to go. I'm supposed to be asleep. More beauty rest for the moi.
Ciao, beautifuls.

Pip

Angry

2006-07-29T16:48:00.000+08:00

Not a pretty picture ahead. You might want to skip this one.
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This pic has been featured on several blogs. I got this version off Blinkymummy's.

Another recent and fatal incident of animal abuse in Singapore. I only hope the end was quick, if not entirely painless, for the kitten.

I look at my eight little [some not so little] brats lounging around the house, furred little kings and queens. And think, there but for the grace of God.

I am angry. I hope the culprits are caught and given the punishment they deserve.

And God help these people if I ever get my hands on them before anyone else does.

Fun fun fun.

2006-07-24T12:55:00.000+08:00

Just a note to say that a fun time was had by all at the cat blogger meet-up last Saturday. We should do this more often. Woot!

SG Cat Blogger Meet-Up Tomorrow!!!

2006-07-21T11:08:00.000+08:00

++UPDATE++ I just realised I don't have auntie p's email addie!!! Doh!!! If you read this, please send me a mail [addie's in my profile] and I'll forward you my mobile number. Thanks!!!

**********
Ta-ra Ta-dahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

SG Cat Bloggers are meeting up at Marche @ Suntec on Saturday 22 July from 1:30 pm.

Here is the final list of those who are coming:

CAN Make It: CatDonna, kuro.shiro.neko, kxbc, 5-Cat Style & The Flyer, Mrs Animal Family, Mama Piggy of Kootoo and M&M

MAY BE Dropping By: auntie p

We'll meet outside and go in as a group at 1:30 pm. If you get to Marche after 1:30 pm just grab a card and walk in, I have a feeling we're not hard to find. Heh heh. Marche doesn't accept table reservations so you won't be led to our table - we'll all have to keep an eye out for each other!

I'll be mailing my mobile number to all you lovelies in case something crops up and you need to make contact.

If anyone else would like to join us let me know asap!

Lalala.

CatDonna

Bye Bye Fiver

2006-07-16T13:06:00.000+08:00

Remember me?

I realise that I still haven't mentioned Fiver's adoption. So here goes.

**********

Some things you may like to know about Fiver:

Fiver: 48 hours old

Hazel and Fiver were born on 31 March, 2006.

Fiver was the runt. Granted there were only two kittens in Pip's litter, it was still pretty obvious that Fiver got the wrong end of the deal. Hazel was almost twice as large at birth, and much more active.

Pip clearly favoured Hazel, grooming him incessantly, and she didn't pay as much attention to Fiver. It was easy to ignore Fiver after all. He was shrivelled, small, quiet and slow, while Hazel was a squealing ball of flesh and downy fur.

By the second day it became obvious that little Fiver was having problems latching onto Pip's teats. He lay in a tiny crumpled heap at the far corner of the box, whimpering miserably. Pip didn't seem to bother. Hazel was suckling well and had already grown visibly fatter.

The vet said Fiver had a 50-50 chance of survival. I had to decide: whether to let nature take its course and kill off the runt, or to give Fiver that chance.

The tube and syringe used to feed non-thriving newborn Fiver

I gave Fiver the chance. And he lived.

[I also hope I will never have to feed a neonatal through a stomach tube for the rest of my life, ever again. Imagine stuffing a tube down the throat of a tiny screaming baby kitten no longer than your index finger, and praying you didn't go in the wrong way and puncture his lung by accident. The trauma.]

Made it!

By the end of the first week Fiver grew strong enough to suckle. So he was returned to Pip. And Pip accepted him, though she never quite gave him the preferential treatment she gave Hazel. But never mind, survival was all that mattered.

Welcome back

**********

So the kittens grew. Their eyes opened, their ears unfolded. They learnt to walk, to run and jump and play. They learnt to use the litter box, suffered a bout of diarrhoea from coccidiosis, were de-wormed and vaccinated, got weaned.

Baby Fiver and Daddy Teddy

Fiver [L] and Hazel [R] trying to explore outside the box

Their personalities developed. Hazel was a temperamental Pip-like terror, whilst Fiver was timid, gentle and friendly like his father Teddy. Naturally, Fiver was bullied for his size and personality. But it was also Fiver who made friends first with us and the rest of the cats, napping with them on the couch as we read, while Hazel reigned proud and alone [with Pip watching close by] in his cold, hard bathroom.

So young and already getting into trouble

Fiver is the kind of kitten who, when you pick him up, would curl his little front paws in and nuzzle against your neck. He's the sweetest, most trusting little fellow you could ever find. The cats loved him. So did we.

Happy family [L-R]: Big Boy Hazel, Mummy Pip, Little Boy Fiver

**********

Fiver got adopted at an adoption drive in early July.

Fiver's would-be adopters wanted Hazel at first. Again, it's no surprise - besides being bigger and stronger, Hazel was also more handsome. The adopters explained that they wanted a sweet cat, because their older cat was very gentle and submissive.

Then, while N [Mrs Adopter] was still cuddling a struggling Hazel and talking to me, we caught a glimpse of the way Hazel was staring at her.
It wasn't endearing, it was threatening.
Hazel was glaring death-rays and starting to snarl. Like a little cat demon.
N put Hazel back in the cage. Fast.

So I offered Fiver instead, who as usual melted and purred into N's arms, and that was it.

**********

Here are some last pics of Fiver, just before we sent him off to the adopters the next day.

A goodbye kiss from Polly

"I'm a big boy now"

I don't think Pip misses Fiver much. Hazel hardly seems to have noticed any change.

Good times: Teddy messing around with Fiver

But Teddy was a bit sad for a while, I think.

One last shot before we go

Bye bye Fiver. Have a wonderful life with your new family.

Goodbye

Be a furry purry little blessing wherever you go.
We love you too. Take care.

CatDonna and Cats

Huzzah!

2006-07-16T12:54:00.000+08:00

Just received a letter from my former employers. They've probably conducted an investigation and realised the whole fiasco was their mistake.

The liquidated damages I allegedly owed them are now waived, and I don't even have to serve the remaining twenty days they were going on about.

So basically I've been let off, scot-free. Which is only right, after all, it wasn't my fault I quit early.

Whee-heeeeee.

The letter's a bit vague on some details, though, so I'll need to check with them again tomorrow.

I'm free, I'm free. Woot!

SG Cat Blogger Meet-Up

2006-07-12T17:08:00.000+08:00

Some of us have responded [yay!] and so here are tentative details of our meet-up. Please note the date has been changed cos some people couldn't make it, so it's NEXT weekend, not this coming one. Really really hope as many of us as possible can come.

Venue: Marche @ Suntec

Day/Date: Saturday, 22 July 2006

Time: 1.30 pm

Here are the responses we've got so far.

CAN Make It:

CatDonna
kuro.shiro.neko
kxbc
5-Cat Style
Mrs Animal Family [is Mr AF joining us?]

AWAITING Confirmation:

Mama Piggy of Kootoo and M&M [is Papa Porky joining us?]

MAY BE Dropping By:

auntie p

ABSENT with regrets [but with us in spirit]:

Cat Aunty
San of the Three Amigos
Chaos Cat
Marina, Zeus and Isis of the Zeus Excuse :)
Victor Tabbycat and Bonnie Underfoot :)

Please spread the word. And OF COURSE spouses and significant others are free to join us. Dun pai seh. Just let me know beforehand so I can give the right number for booking tables. [Do they allow table bookings at Marche?]

So everyone, please leave a comment to let me know your confirmed attendance, and I'll update the list periodically.

So fun! So fun!
*skips away singing silly la-la songs*
CatDonna

Calling Singapore Cat Bloggers & Blog Readers ++Updated++

2006-07-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

++Update++ Okay, it's either you all are super busy or you guys don't want to meet? Say something leh, so at least I know what's the score. If you want another date/time just say. Dun keep quiet lah.

Always so quiet. Wah lau, Singaporeans.

Me down with flu. Fever, sinusitis, fatigue, the usual symptoms.
Grouchy. Bleargh.
On the bright side though, insomnia's over.

++End Update++

Hey hey hey!

Some time back kuro.shiro.neko and I were casually discussing the possibility of meeting up.

Sooo.......

If we were to throw out an open invite to the Singapore cat blogosphere [bloggers and readers/commenters] for a late lunch this weekend, say, how many of you would be interested?

Leave a note in the comments section and let me know.

Bye bye for now!
CatDonna

ps- Hazel's fallen in the toilet bowl after a failed attempt at jumping up the sink. He's called Smelly Hazel now. At least until his shower.

Argh

2006-07-10T09:49:00.000+08:00

Hazel [L] with Mother Pip. I wish I had someone to lick my weary head too.

What an awful week it has been.

It all started last Monday after I'd dropped off Fiver at his new home. I was supposed to start a new temp job the very next day, and was awaiting the phone call to confirm details and arrangements.

I did get the call, but it was bad and totally unexpected news: I couldn't be employed because of some major screw-up with my previous organisation and the terms of my bond. Basically, because of the wrong information disseminated by one of their people, I had inadvertently breached my contract.

So now I've appealed to their personnel division for an investigation and I've offered to return and serve out the remaining TWENTY FLIPPIN' DAYS so I'll owe them nothing and they can kindly get off my back.

What I really can't stand is how someone up there has seriously messed up, but they expect me to pay the penalty for it.

**********

So. Until this issue is resolved I can't find another job.
And as you can guess, this doesn't help the insomnia.
I've hardly been sleeping the entire week.

Yesterday, in the fog of eternal sleeplessness I made a couple of boo-boos:

In the car
Husband: So where are we going for dinner?
Me: Oh, I'm okay. Why don't you ask Rusty at the back.
Friend at the back: I'm Ryan, and I'm not your dog!!!

Back home
Me: [To Pip] Hey honey, where's your little baby kitten? Whatshisname. Wallace? Wally? No, it's something to do with nuts... Walnut?

Hazel expresses his admiration for my powerful memory

"Tough Nut" Hazel [L]: Standing in street corners conferring with infamous thug, "Last Laugh" Lucie

Speaking of whom, little Hazel is clearly taking after his mad and savage mother Pip. He's only half the size of the other cats, but he's already standing his ground in fights and even picking some of his own.

Pip, unfortunately, has also taught him some strange lessons. Hazel's not very sociable at all. He's so happy being alone, hiding under the sink cupboard. That's very not cute, not kittenish at all. Hazel's weird.

Pip, as you darlings all know, was brought up by myself pretty much all her life, so she's formed this obsessive attachment to me and an overwhelming delusion that she's human, not feline. I don't know if I've ever told you this, but Pip hardly meows. She whines, mutters, grunts, groans, purrs, and shrieks when angry. Very, very occasionally, Pip mews when she really wants something done.

Like mother, like son. My point is I hardly heard Hazel meow. He grunts and "talks" a lot, like a cranky little old man. Except he's not an old man, he's a kitten and supposed to be all cute and fluffy like.

I dunno if potential adopters will find a muttering kitten cute or just freaky?

A quick digression: Kudos to clever Cat Aunty for identifying the profile pic kitty! My profile pic is of baby Pip at 3 weeks. No Photoshop was used. Baby Pip's smile is entirely natural. Heheheh.

More pics coming up soon.
CatDonna

Patty Cakes

2006-07-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

Taken from Yahoo! videos

"Patty cake, patty cake, patty cake man,
Make me a patty cake quick as you can."

The voiceover's about some cat giving a dog a massage, but it doesn't do anything for me so I prefer to watch it mute.

That's because when a cat does that to me, I call it making patty cakes.

Taken from www.ingestandimbibe.com

It's far easier on the imagination to think that a cat would knead dough to make its own tuna puffs [or bait for rats?], rather than do me a nice, de-stressing favour.

According to animal behavourists, cats knead to show affection.
So the question for today is, when cats knead us, do they need us?
Heh heh.

More to come after I drop Fiver off at his new adopter's.

CatDonna

Insomnia ++Updated++

2006-07-01T04:36:00.000+08:00

Random thought in Fiver's little head:
"Now do I or do I not rip this sofa entirely to shreds?"

++Update++ Found the pics and added 'em. You can see them in the latter half of this post.

Insomnia is a pain.

It's not jet lag: with jet lag you feel exhausted at the wrong time of day and want to sleep. But I can't sleep at all.

I'm tired, yes, but that's only natural because this is the second night of my insomniac attack and I've slept only about 4 hours in the past 48.

When I was younger, back in university, I used to get insomniac attacks once in a while. One memorable occasion lasted 5 weeks and entailed me watching dang sunrises way too many times. Now I hate sunrises.

My insomniac episodes usually come and go without any warning or discernible cause. But I think I can pinpoint the cause this time: it's my heart.

The heart is heavy.

Returning to Singapore to read about two, three weeks' records of other local bloggers' lives proved to be simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking.

**********

Belated congratulations to the family of Five Cats' Blog and your new arrival, Jack! May he be a purrfect bundle of joy.

**********

On a more sombre note, The House of Cat lost its darling kitty heart, Dim Sum, to FIP. This occurred while I was still in the UK and I didn't know until I returned to Singapore.

Cat, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. It seems that Dim Sum died peacefully, though, and that is a comfort.

An electronic hug for you. Take care.

**********

We here at CatDonna's Cats are keeping 5-Cat Style and the Flyer in our thoughts and prayers as they come to grips with a very difficult situation and the loss of a beloved kitten, Tiffy.

We're also mindful of recent media reports on the re-arrest of David Hooi, serial animal abuser.

I've decided against commenting on these sad events. Not because I haven't got anything to say, or I don't care.

But sometimes the heart is too weighed down to speak.
People are both frighteningly complex and terribly fragile.
I cannot even begin to discuss these issues. I am almost afraid to.
There is too much to say.

**********

Oh God, it's 5:13 a.m. already.

**********

There's another reason for the sleeplessness.

Boonie and Lucie, Hazel and Fiver are going to participate in an adoption drive at Eunos Community Centre this Sunday from 10 to 4. Boonie and Lucie will actually be there, whilst Hazel and Fiver will have their pictures put on display. I'll be there, of course, to help out with the drive and to screen the potential adopters for my cats.

Personally, I'm not keen on adoption drives - it's too stressful for the cats and you don't get to see the potential adopters interact with the animals sufficiently before you make a decision. Plus, many people who go for these shows aren't serious about adopting.

That's why I've held out against placing my cats in any of these things: I never saw the point, really.
Unfortunately, Boon and Luce are already 8 months old. They're almost adults, and getting huge.
Hazel and Fiver are 3 months old and I swear they've grown every time I look at them.

I love my foster cats to bits, but until I get rid of them, I can't help other cats.
On the other hand, I've got to ensure that my babies end up in good hands, and this is no simple feat.
I'm anxious for their welfare. Adoption drives are, frankly, a last resort [I've never had to come to this till now], and I'm very concerned for how everything will turn out.

I hate this.

**********

I'm making a last-ditch attempt here, and any help will be appreciated:

If anyone wants to adopt a kitten or young cat, or two, PLEASE let me know. Here they are.

Boonie Blackbear: black tabby male, 8 months

Lucie Luckystar: tortoiseshell tabby female, 8 months

Boonie and Lucie were born around about 15 Oct 2005. Abandoned at about 3 days old, they were rescued and hand-raised by me. They have grown up in a multi-cat household, are comfortable with other animals and trustful with humans.

Boonie is outgoing, sociable and talkative. Lucie is quieter, but sweet as honey and very loving. They grew up together and need to be adopted together.

**********

Fiver [L] and Hazel [R] lazing on the ironing board

Hazel and Fiver: size in perspective

[How to tell them apart: Hazel's nose is pink, and Fiver's is brown.]

Hazel and Fiver are both 3-month-old male, brown-and-white bicolour tabbies. Their personalities are developing: Hazel is aloof and courageous, a tiny little Simba lion; Fiver is friendly and affectionate and very endearing.

They can be adopted together or separately, although together is always best.

**********

Please contact me by email. It's in my profile.
Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Sigh.

CatDonna

ps - Pip just returned from sterilisation. I'll let her tell you about it when she's ready.

"Oh crud, I've just had my insides dug out of me and you 3-month-old twerps still want to suckle"

I'm Back!

2006-06-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

Very, very jet lagged.

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTSSSSSS

2006-06-23T05:47:00.000+08:00

Some of the more interesting/cuter cats I met along my jolly travels thus far.

Southampton

Cat belonging to husband's friend's neighbour. Sleepy little fella with car phobia and a dirty nose.

This is Ginger! Belonging to another friend of the husband's [it's getting confusing, I know].
You gotta love her expression.

I dunno if I'm stereotyping here but Ginger, like most tortoiseshells, is very chatty. And bossy. She kept talking to me. Kept telling me to do things. "Open the door dammit, I want in!" "Now I wanna leave, get your butt here and let me out!" "Pay attention to meeeeee" etc.

This is Fred, husband's friend's other cat. Handsome boy. He hardly ever appears though. Both Fred and Ginger are indoor-outdoor cats.

London

Super friendly, super furry cat. He never failed to look me in the eye and meow loudly in greeting as I passed by. Then he would come along, purring, for cheek rubs and strokes.

He's no wuss though. Check out the ragged ear.
Homeboy's had a few good fights in his time.

This is Scoot, who lives with our London friend.
She was adopted from the Battersea Home for Animals about a year ago and she's approx 5 years old now.

She's shy and wary with strangers, but warms up if you take the feather toy thingy and make an absolute fool of yourself with it. Trust me on this one.

Brighton

Another lovely little fellow. Friendly and chatty, purring and rubbing against our legs. Unlike the London cat, this guy was too excited to stay in one spot and pose for pics.

To be fair to him, though, he was probably just trying to keep warm.
The weather that day was pretty cold, with strong winds and sea spray from the beach next to us [Brighton, as you know, is a seaside resort city thingamajig]. We were surrounded by the sea almost everywhere we went. Lovely.

I have lotsa other pics of the wonderful UK in summer but I won't post 'em up now because YOU DON'T CARE, YOU DON'T CARE, DO YOU. Cads! *takes pen and stabs stomach in self-pity*

Heh heh.
I'll probably do it tomorrow.
Have some cute doggie pics to post too.
It's getting late. Night.

CatDonna

One Week In One Post [Huge Nugget Update]

2006-06-22T05:30:00.000+08:00

Just returned to Llanstadwell [West Wales] after a 10-hour drive from Brighton [Southeast England]. It's pretty much from one end of the UK to another.

I'm going to try and summarise everything into one post. :P
My nugget updates as I call 'em.
Wish me luck.

**********

Two calls from SP my catsitter: one funny, one not funny.

The first call:
"Your Pip a bit siao siao* one. One day she's nice, next day she's nasty, and on the first day she runs away from home. I have to postpone her sterilisation at the vet's because she became very aggressive, for your info. Don't worry, I'll get it done next week."

This is hilarious coming from a highly experienced cat rescuer and foster. SP has dealt with pretty much the entire gamut of feline behaviour. I wonder what crazy, "very aggressive" shenanigans Pip must have come up with to give SP second thoughts about going near her.

"And there's another one, this naughty cat who beats up Teddy and likes to vomit. He loses his temper and SCREAMS at me when it's time to put all the cats back in their room... All your other cats are very nice and easygoing, it's just these two are so temperamental... His name is Doe? He and Pip are siblings?! [Shocked silence] Oh I see. Runs in the family huh."

*siao: a term from the Hokkien dialect meaning "mad", which is very apt for Pip

**********

SP's second phone call [the not funny one] was to inform me that another rabbit of mine, Thimble, died suddenly.

We were in Wimbledon [West London] when we heard the news. The husband and I were quite morose that night.

**********

We were at Southampton's High Street when we walked past a tabletop dancing club called "For Your Eyes Only". Oh, the sleaze!!!

Two doors down was a Far East cuisine restaurant that cheekily called itself "For Your Thais Only". Oh, the grease!!!

**********

Okay okay, you heartless readers, I know you don't care about me or my holiday, you just want the CAAAAAAAAAATS.

Tsk! Fortunately for you, I have taken many cat [and other] pics that I shall be very glad to post for your pleasure, tomorrow. I promise!

Eh, I've just returned from a 10-hour journey after one week of hurtling from Pembroke to Poole, Southampton, London, Brighton and back here. Be nice. ;)

So. A picture post tomorrow.
For now, I can really feel the fatigue weighing down on me.
Off to bed.

CatDonna
ps - Just to say that my notice of resignation ends 21 June. Which means that I am now officially unemployed. Huzzah!

A Short Note on Itinerary

2006-06-15T05:17:00.000+08:00

The moon over Pembroke Dock. If you squint at the left of the pic you'll see a ship: the Irish Ferry.

This is the night view from my bedroom window.

Tomorrow morning, we're going across the Wales-England border to Southampton and Brighton. Then it's back to North Wales, this time in Bangor, and we'll return to Llanstadwell [and broadband] in about a week.

The husband's family and friends are liberally scattered in diverse places, and the wife has to follow.

I'll try as much as I can to update whenever there's a connection available.

Lots of love
CatDonna

HERRRRE COMES BROADBAND!!!!!

2006-06-14T06:01:00.000+08:00

*drumroll*

The pics I owe. Here they are!!!!!!!!

After this pic was taken, he came over and licked my hand and smiled at me with his puppy dog eyes

The Staffordshire Bull Terrier I met at Haverfordwest. He's so friendly and cute I wanna wrap him in a DFS plastic carrier and smuggle him home.

On the wall

Mr Black Cat, about 11 pm, Llanstadwell cemetery. Creepy kinda cute.

In a shady corner out of the wind

Mr BC the next day, same venue. Not so creepy and mega cute.

Llanstadwell church is about 1000+ years old

Another view: along the estuary

We're staying next door to the church at the vicarage. You can see it in the second photo if you squint [sorry, the church kinda blends in with the scenery], the largish, victorian-looking double-storey house near the centre of the pic. It's pretty, isn't it?

We go to the beach quite frequently.
[Notice I'm wearing a string bikini? Thereby hangs a tale. Keep reading.]

Cliffs and sea: This is Dale West

Today the waves were good for surfing: about 8 to 10 feet high and they just CRASH on you. Rip currents are common here and they can really suck you out into the open sea.

That happened to me today... I was happily paddling with the waves and before I knew it, I was swept out quite far away. I was out in the freezing cold, deep seawater, with waves crashing on my head and pushing me under every few seconds. I could hardly see my pals on the beach [they were tiny specks] and the water was too choppy to call for help.

For a moment, I really thought this might be the end. It took a frighteningly long time to swim back until I could feel the sand under my feet.

I went back and my friends told me they did see me go under and get swept out by the tide. And like the true buddies they were, THEY STOOD AROUND AND TOOK PICTURES!!!

*mutters under breath*

Best of all, the waves were pounding so hard my bikini top AND bottom got yanked off, and it happened so many times I gave up adjusting my bits. Yes, I was a NUDIE-RUDIE ON THE BEACH HAR HAR!!! Thankfully I didn't actually lose 'em, they just all slipped down and looked embarrassing on the wrong parts of my body. Heh heh.

Good old British summers: unpredictable. The past few days have been cloudy, wet and cold. It's a nice change, though.

It's about midnight here so I'm off to bed. Good night all.

CatDonna

CatDonna's Cats

Does Pip Know?

No News Is...

Jetlag I Hatechuuuuu

Raspberry Cat

Welsh Summer (Too Rainy For Pics)

Here I Am (Update - Sleep = Randomness)

And she's off!!!

Chickennnnnnnnnnnnnnn

24 Hours Later...

Seven Steps to Losing 1.5 Kg* In 48 Hours + Another Contest! Does CatDonna Never Learn?!?!?!

Meme: 7 Random Facts About Pip

Eh, I'm alright now.

Fever Back

Disfigured!

Buh.

Argh Argh AAARRRGGGHHHHH

Latest Pippenings

Boonie. Black. BEAR. (Hug.)

Cont'd: CatDonna's Cats and the Glass of Alco DOOM

CatDonna's Cats & The Crimson Mug Of SHAME

Skrawny Pol

I thought you all might like to know

Pip: "Welcome home, woman!"

"Dayum, I should have charged the camera" said the Woman

Down + Roast

It's Oh So Quiet

Teddy's Latest Photoshoot cum Personal Drama

Wake-Up Call: The Roster

quickie thoughts

Wee.

Pipperina, Rescue Leader

A Little Less Conversation

Trouble with Cats

Some Valentine Randomness

That's What Y'All Call Me, Now

Tabby Nap

And So The Worm Turns

Sick As A Dog (SAAD)

Eh?????

Happy New Year! + Contest Results

Where I wanna be for Christmas...

You know she's lovin' it when...

A Letter to the AVA

Caffeine

It's Confession Time!

You are Strength

Ten Things I Will Never Do

Even Top Cats Get the Monday Blues

Kitty Kitty Kitty Cat!

Chocolate TRAAAMP!!!!! ++Updated: And DRAMA QUEEEEN!!!!!++

Reheated Chocolate

Roadkill / Sometimes Cats Are Stupid

Blogger, You Kill Me

Mysteries Revealed! (And Pics Ahead!)

Announcement: CatDonna is Catty

I Like!!!

Bye Bye Duckie: The Nitty Gritty

Bye Bye Duckie!!!!!

I Can't Access the ASD Website

The Brat Pack

Love you too, Pip

100th Post

Duckie Update

Duckie and the Curse of the Persian Carpet

Sigh. Foster for Daisy, Anyone?!

Haikus!

CatDonna's New Hobby

Truce? I wish.

Updated Blogroll

Angry Woman + I need HELP **Updated twice**

Photo Op

Ohhh my head.

Expert Beauty Tip #23

Quotable Quotes from Memorable Essays

Update: Hazel The Nut

Ohhh PIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let them eat c***!

Like Water For Chocolate

Boonie's Great Plastic Bag Adventure

Angry Woman + I need HELP Updated twice